Important Factors in Resolving Interpersonal Conflicts - Book Report/Review Example

?Running head: IMPORTANT FACTORS THAT ARE USED IN RESOLVING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICTS Important factors that are used in resolving interpersonal conflicts Insert Name Insert Grade Course Insert Tutor’s Name 19 April 2011 Important factors that are used in resolving interpersonal conflicts Introduction Interpersonal conflict is perceived as a negative experience that incorporates hostility, controversy, and even fighting among the parties concerned. The main point is that interpersonal conflict is compared to a condition that is substantial in the fact that there is creation of tension as well as polarization of disputants’ stands. In addition to this, interpersonal conflict is regarded as a competitive process as it deals with at least two different parties that share common goals that cannot be separated. This results to antagonistic behavior as one party tries to force its will on the other party thus dominating the whole process. The conflict is attributed to change in goals, beliefs, or even perceptions. In other words, the interpersonal conflict can be summarized as dynamic process that is undertaken by two different individuals who share common beliefs and goals that also happen to be incompatible, thus resulting to intentional behavior of the individuals to impose their stand on each other while at the same time dismissing the opponent’s position. Theoretical discussion The superiority model of humor reveals humor as a powerful tool that could be used to create or bring about an inferiority status on others, thus making the interactions between individuals to be more complicated than before. The model also tend to portray humor as a tool used to elevate ones status in order to be superior than others. Disposition model of humor in addition indicates that while using humor to ridicule others and lowering them to inferiority levels, other people are bound to join in the humor only if they share the same disposition towards the victim. In the recent model of humor suggested by Meyer, humor is regarded as having four functions. The functions indicated the uniting and the dividing capabilities of humor. The Meyer model was later on patterned when Martineau differentiated humor based on its positive and negative functions. One of the positive functions of humor is revealed in facilitation of social connections while its negative function is demonstrated by creation of conflict as well as friction in the midst of a social group. Ridicule is also regarded as a negative use of humor as norms are enforced due to lack of compliance. Despite humor been perceived as a negative by the victims, a different perception is shared with the people who are not victims as they consider it positive. In order to achieve the objective of been a long term communicator, it is advisable for one to desist from using humor that is aimed at ridiculing others as it is attributed to be used by leaders who are not effective (Cann et al, 2009, p. 453). According to a survey carried out by Salovey and Rodin in 1984, it was discovered that jealousy always resulted from attaining negative response on a certain characteristic while the others attain successful results. A good example is the comparison of an individual’s partner to his or her rival in terms of behavior. This lowers the self-esteem of the individual there by putting the relationship in jeopardy due to the negative comparison or the negative response. Relationship uncertainty is regarded as a factor once the relationship is put in jeopardy. On focusing on behaviors and responsive communication it was revealed that behavioral response to Jealousy should carry communicative value, as it will attain the potential to individual objectives. There are six relevance reactions to jealousy. They include distributive communication, active distancing, integrative communication, negative expression, violent communication, and distributive communication. In terms of behavior, there are five common behavioral responses to jealousy which include; restriction, violent behavior, manipulation attempts, rival contacts and compensatory restoration (Cayanus and Booth-Butterfield, 2002, p. 238) A confrontation generally occurs when an individual decides to step up to the intolerable behavior of the actor. When a confrontation takes place, the person who is confronted is described as the target of the confrontation. In close relationships, it was discovered that one party of the relationship is attributed to initiating of arguments or confrontation. Initiators of an argument are said to bear a different dimension of the argument as opposed to the targets. In regards to angry confrontation, it is indicated that the initiators had been experiencing anger inducing stimulus for a period of time while the targets claim that their actions were not intended to spark a confrontation. In addition to this, the targets claim that the confronter is blowing the situation out of proportion and to them the situation is over after the confrontation but to the initiator the belief is that the actions are bound to continue even after the confrontation. The behavioral pattern between the initiator and the target is bound to reflect the future intensity of the conflict as one party (initiator) is aware of the background of the conflict while the other party (target) is not even aware of the existence of the conflict (DiPaola et al, 2010, p. 61). The social penetration theory indicates that as time goes by, the relationship matures in terms of disclosure and intimacy between the parties involved. The breakup of the relationship is considered smooth reversal of rational structuring as when the relationship disintegrates the level of disclosure and intimacy lowers down. The smooth rational process has however acquired critics from various corners who claim that it is impossible for people to just lose the knowledge they had attained in their structuring process (Johnson et al, 2004, p. 55). According to the model of appraisal-based comfort, talking about ones distress is considered totally helpful, as people tend to feel much better upon talking out their distress. In talking out the events, the disclosers are able to recall the events in their sequence. The listeners should encourage verbalization of one’s feelings and emotions in order the disclosure can uplift his or her emotions. Talking about the traumatic events is beneficial in terms of sense making and understanding the type of social support the disclosure can be offered (Lewis and Manusov, 2009, p. 284) Betrayal, which is also referred to as disloyal, is regarded as one of the transgressions whose impact is vast in a relationship as well as personal life of individuals. In betrayal research, theoretical direction is said to missing. Theories are regarded as important pillars to the support of a research as they come in hand while making predictions in regards to human behavior as well as explaining the results achieved. Using theoretical predictions in explaining betrayal one will easily understand the consequences that pertain to betrayal (Ferrara and Levine, 2009, p. 188). Synthesis of scholarship Humor has both the negative and the positive outcomes. While positive humor is attributed to laughter, the negative humor is attributed to targeting of individuals to whom the response is not definite. Social connections are one of the outcomes of positive humor while ridicule is one of the outcomes of negative humor. In addition to this humor is regarded as having functions that bring about unification and at the same time functions that result to division. Negative humor is not advisable to be applied by individuals seeking to be good communicators. Jealousy plays a crucial role in relationships. In the Salovey and Rodin survey, jealousy is associated with the aftermath of negative response and particularly when the negative result has occurred to the victim and at the same time, there is success achieved by other counter parts of the victim. The relationship is normally put at risk especially when victim’s failure is compared to the success of his or her rivals. Initiators and targets have a high chance of not performing in times of a conflicting scenario and at the same time lack awareness on the instigating problems. Initiators tend to react to a situation after a period of piling up the issues that resulted to the conflict. The target in the other hand is most likely not familiar with what the conflict is all about and most in of the time they tend to think the initiator is over reacting to the whole situation. Betrayal is comprised of various responses, which include acceptance of responsibilities, apologies and even an indication of the change in the days to come. The occurrence of betrayal in an intimate relationship is regarded as disloyal with its impact being enormous within a relationship. Most of the betrayal researches have lacked a theoretical direction, which is crucial in the structuring of the research. When a relationship has been rocked with distress, it is important that the parties involved disclose the issues that are bugging them. The listeners is supposed to emphasize on the talking because it is from talking that the disclosure can air out his or her concerns thus making the listener comprehend on the best way of helping him or her out. As a relationship evolves with years of maturity and intimacy, the parties involved tend to be more open with each other in terms of disclosure. The reverse applies to when the relationship breaks down, the parties involved tend to disclose less to one another, and the level of the intimacy drops. Conclusion Interpersonal conflict being a negative experience that exists especially within relationships is comprised of a number of factors that have to be kept in check in order to resolve the interpersonal conflict in relationships. Betrayal and jealousy are some of the crucial factors that are attributed to the occurrence of a negative response within the relationship. The initiators and the targets are two different entities in a relationship whose perspective and understanding of the on the conflict are totally different thus making their reactions and response to be totally different altogether. At times, the parties involved in these relationships tend to ignore the broad step of dealing with the conflict and instead opt for excuses. Among the common reactions to the conflict are the blaming game, denial, getting angry and avoidance. Benefiting at the expense of others will not solve anything but instead it will create a bigger problem as the loser is bound to continue harboring the problem even in the days to come. References Cann, A. et al. (2009). Positive and negative styles of humor in Communication: Evidence for the importance of considering both styles. NY: Routledge Taylor & Francis group. Cayanus, J. L., & Booth-butterfield, M. (2004). Relationship orientation, jealousy, and equity: An examination of jealousy evoking and positive communicative responses. (Attached Material). DiPaola, M. B. et al. (2010). College Students’ Expectations of Conflict Intensity: A Self-Fulliling Intesity Prophecy. Routledge Taylor & Francis group. Ferrara, M. H., & Levine, T. R. (2009). Can’t live with them or can’t live without them?: The effects of betrayal on relational outcomes in college dating relationships. Communication quarterly, 57, 187-204. Johnson, A. J., et al. (2004). The process of relationship development and deterioration: Turning points in friendships that have terminated. Communication quarterly, 52, 54-67 Lewis, T. and Manusov, V. (2009). Listening to Another’s Distress in Everyday Relationships. Routledge Taylor & Francis group. Read More