Comparison of the Marriage and Courtship of the Tuaregs and the Americans - Research Paper Example

?Full Comparison of the Marriage and Courtship of the Tuaregs and the Americans Courtship and marriage are two important factors defining the culture of a tribe or race that was not recently exercised but has been there through the centuries that saw generations of people yet have survived in some like the Tuaregs of Africa. It is amazing to note that in this modern time, there are still existent practices that could be considered as ancient yet are deemed to be important not only to the tribe/race themselves but to other people as well and researchers. The thesis of this paper is the comparison of the courtship and marriage practices of the Tuaregs and modern America, not to see how one is fairing against the other but to educate ourselves of the possibility that sometime in the past there had been a culture shared by many races though they seem entirely different today. Courtship to the Tuaregs is as exciting as that enjoyed by the Americans and yet, not of the same practice but of the thrill their different cultures bring along in the process. For the desert people, a practice called abal summons young single men to court young single women. Older men are not invited in the courting session but the occasion is strictly set for the younger generation to meet a probable future spouse. In this courtship, attractive girls are surrounded by young bachelors who show interest in a maiden and may sit with them for hours with some who just look at her while others attempt to chat with her or even touch her (Nicolaisen & Nicolaisen 722). Moreover, the men do not just attend the abal as they are, but have to use veil. Courtship to the Tuaregs is strictly observed and similarly considered important as with the Americans. The Americans, though have their own freedom to choose how they court. In a similar fashion as the Tuaregs’, night clubs and other similar establishments could well be equated to the abal where sometimes men and women go to, purposely to find a partner. However, men could also choose to court women they meet in the workplace or through acquaintances. For both Tuaregs and American, falling in love could well take place in the process as they seek the desire of their hearts after which, the dating ensues. Visitation is a similar practice in the dating process for the races we are comparing. The Tuareg can visit the girl of his choice whom he met at the abal and they may converse together but usually, they exchange jokes as a part of their dating, making the meeting an enjoyable one where they are both happy. The woman during the visit does her best to please the visiting man by doing him little favors like cooking the best food, mending the man’s clothes and playing the violin for her visitor. Dating to Americans is similar to this practice wherein men usually visit the women. Nevertheless, with the demands of the modern world, they usually dine out and the visitation lasts for just a few hours wherein the only favor given to the man is the food prepared, without the mending of clothes and playing the violin, not unless the woman has the skill and is requested to play. Food probably is the common denominator not only to the Tauregs and Americans but in all cultures in such an occasion where both parties get to know each other better. Communication to the Americans is more open and not limited to joking, though dating is not without jokes thrown at each other and the partners are still nice to one another. Looking at the process of courtship the Tuareg’s undergo, it could be said they similarly accept dating as a pre-engagement practice (americanfamilytraditions.com). Tuaregs follow the same steps as the Americans do wherein after the dating process comes the proposal. To the former, proposal requires a lot of work for the man because he has to seek the approval of all of his close kin which according to Nicolaisen & Nicolaisen (723) not only include the parents but the siblings as well. The number of people needed to approve of the marriage proposal is not the one that makes the task difficult rather the circumstances in the desert where usually the people involved are in far away places, eventually causing a great delay to the marriage. In addition to this, the man’s representative should also seek the approval of the woman’s close kin which extends to the grandparents. Approval of the marriage can well be foreseen with the man’s father’s approval to the marriage because in such case, others would have to approve as well. The man’s father indeed has the biggest influence in the proposal because when he does not like the idea, he can refuse and there would be no marriage however, for a mature individual, he has the right to appeal his case before the Amenukal, a traditional chief (723). On the other hand, Americans ask for the woman’s hands in marriage first from the woman herself before going to the parents. In some cases, the woman’s approval is enough but for those who are more conservative and sentimental, they forego asking the permission of both partner’s parents. In contrast to the Tuaregs, the couple can share their plans to siblings but they actually have no influence to their decision. The same could be true to parents but for some, especially those with very close family ties, parental relationships could actually influence decisions of the couple. In totality, the similarity between the Tuaregs and Americans in this process is the act of proposing before the engagement comes. The Tuaregs exchange dowries before the marriage and the woman’s family usually holds the greater responsibilities with the dowry given by her family being of greater value than that from the man’s family and the dowry goes to the parents, not to the couple themselves. Contrary to this, to the Americans, the man gives an engagement ring to the woman which when she accepts, would mean they are now both ready to enter into marriage. The means could be different in the two races in this aspect so the only similarity we could point to is the act of giving whether by one party or both, would make the difference. The marriage now takes place after the aforementioned long process. However, before we indulge into this interesting topic, allow the mention of the arranged marriages of the Tuaregs which exist until today (Monger 13, Nicolaisen & Nicolaisen 723) which follows the same process whether the woman is of legal age or not. The Tuaregs have a longer period for this process and more practices to observe than the Americans but mentioning the details of the marriage custom would bring us into a very long discussion. In this last topic, we would just concentrate on the similarities the Tuareg and American marriage have. The veil is an important costume in weddings for the couple which is common to both races with a little twist to the Tuaregs where both the woman and man are veiled (750). Music is another essential in such an occasion and is present in the celebration of the Tuaregs and Americans. Furthermore, processions are done in the marriage ceremonies and are also comparable. The heavily veiled Tuareg groom is led by a company of young men to the wedding tent where these are comparable to the American Groom’s men. Correspondingly, a group of women accompany the veiled Tuareg bride to the wedding tent in a slower speed than the men, also similar to the American Bride’s maids who assist the bride in the procession, keeping her looking beautiful and comfortable throughout the ceremony. After the procession, the Tuaregs complete the practice the following day but to the Americans, party would be over after the reception. References American Family Traditions. Marriage and Weddings, January 2009. Web. March 31, 2011. < http://www.americanfamilytraditions.com/weddings.htm>. Monger, George. Marrige Customs of the World: From Henna to Honeymoons. California: ABC-CLIO, Inc., 2004. Print Nicolaisen, Johannes & Ida Nicolaisen. The Pastrol Tuareg. New York: Thames and Hudson, Inc., 1997. Print. Read More