Example of a Personal Letter - Term Paper Example

? Number Due Faculty Dear John and Jane, To my good and closest friends, I would like to touch on a few interpersonal relationship concepts that have served me well in the past and hope this offers both of you some guidance also while working through your recent engagement. The most fundamental concept is that no two people are alike. Each of you comes from different background, cultures, experiences, and interests. In order for each of you to make sense of the present communication process, it is important to remember that each person is unique. "Empathy is the key" (Howland, 2007). Please do not put value judgments on your differences and that your diversity is what makes each of you special and unique (Howland, 2007). As close as we may believe we are, in an effort to communicate, you will find at times, barriers that will affect the ability to communicate with one another. I sincerely believe that each of you deeply respects each other and because of that, I will offer the following advice. John and Jane, barriers we find in everyday things that we do. Communications of any kind come from the simplest of things for example what we feel, smell, see, taste, and touch. This interpersonal communication course taught me that people continue to study this. Maslow developed a model of needs in 1968. Maslow said that interactions with others help to satisfy personal needs (Maslow, 1968). Through these needs, we learn to communicate with each other. Continued respect for each other will help each of you determine when the barriers are semantic, emotional, or psychological. Semantic barriers often include symbols that may have different meanings. Because both of you come from different cultures symbols that each of you use frequently may mean different things. Semantic barriers are avoidable. Symbols differences are a fact because of the cultural diversity you share. Discuss these symbolic differences with each other during the process of your engagement to avoid misunderstandings. Semantics errors lead to poor expression of the actual message you wish to share with each other. Semantic errors also lead to faulty and unnecessary translations. Semantic errors will deliver un-clarified assumptions that lead to uncomfortable situations. Emotional and psychological barriers in the process of communication may lead to both of you feeling hurt, acting inattentive or loss of the actual translation (Janasz, 2002). This communication process is a shared equal process. Each of you must always remember that communication is the process of sending and receiving of messages that comes from two very individual people. That each of you continue to recognize that each of you comes from different cultures, backgrounds, education, interests, experiences, attitudes, and that John and Jane each of you need to be cognizant that when you send and receive information from each other do not let barriers interfere with the message. Noise and other distractions are everywhere. If the subject is one that can lead to a barrier, take the time to listen to one another (Janasz, 2002). John and Jane, at times it is a matter of assessing ones personal communications. Conversations with others help us to assess our own personal communication style. Through these conversations with one another is a way to connect with each other and help build on this relationship. In an ability to improve your communication competencies, I offer the following advice. Interpersonal communication is a way to satisfy the social and esteem needs you may each require. It is also a way to give and obtain affection. We all have communication habits. These habits help us to connect and interact with others (Sole, 2011). However, those same habits can be a negative to the relationship. I learned in my intercommunication class that we have four key concepts that it is important to be cognizant of throughout your enjoyed relationship. It is important to recognize and incorporate the qualities that each of you possesses through your confidence, caring, creativity, and your humble considerations (Sole, 2011). Personal experience leads me to believe that the biggest core competency that one develops through time is the ability to listen. It is impossible to understand one another without having good listening skills. I have learned through this course that hearing is not necessarily listening. To be a good listener one must have clearly heard the message of the other person. Pay attention to the message the other person is sending you. When interpreting the message make sure it is accurate. An important lesson that I have learned in taking this course is that all of us have poor listening skills. If you are not clear on what the message is paraphrase back to your partner. Having effective listening habits is important concept in interpersonal communication skills (Sole, 2011). Developing strategies to achieve active, critical and empathic listening skills is another concept in the development of interpersonal communications. Strategist and theorist continue to study these interpersonal ways to communicate within our diverse society. The international journal of listening in 2010, talked about the subject of the influence of message paraphrasing, which assists with this perception of listening skills (Schmid. 2009). A group of people developed this study for the Nickolson School of Communication at the University of Florida. This group identified that active listening in training programs identified that active listening skills in groups is an important listening skills factor. The study identified that little empirical research examined on the subject yet. This study reports that message paraphrasing is an important element. This group did an experiment with a peer-reviewed group of 180 students. This experience consisted of commenting on interviews where one the group needed to comment on the use of paraphrasing or comment or s simple acknowledgement. In this study this group found the element of active listening through the use of paraphrasing is the most important element used in training programs across the globe today (Weger, 2010). Other theories and strategies continue be a focus in many journals. Writing about these studies may conclude that from children to adults, the importance of recognizing quality listening skills. Listening skills are important to recognize in children, for good listeners tend to speak earlier and more easily (Yalcinkaya, 2009). McComb and Jablin found that empathic listening skills were important when interviewing job applicants. Actual employment screening interviews found that there is a direct correlation between verbalization and between the empathic interviewer listening skills (McComb, 1984). Empathic listening skills are not only required on a personal level but also can be just as important on the job. Empathic listeners will get more sales than the employee's will not possess that quality. There continues to be evidence of empathic listening skills approach that appeared the assumptive roots of empathic, non-directive, and therapeutic listening. Empathy, revealed to another human in the use paraphrasing back to the sender of the message (Arnett, 1983). The words we say to each other have enormous power. The words we say can express anger, happiness, fear, revelation, surprise and empathy. Words are powerful because that affect the attitudes, perceptions and behaviors of others to whom we direct the words to. A speaker can have an effect on a large audience just by the way and means in which they say those words. Motivational speaker use various techniques and tactics to provide the audience's mind with statement that help them interact with the speaker. Words are the phenomenon used by many researchers in this field of study. This becomes a hot topic from researchers in the areas of psychology and business studies. There continues to be contradicting views regarding the phenomenon. Studies have included individuals that are in high-power and those individuals that are in a low power positions. In a study conducted in 2006 by Galinsky et.al. Found that people in high-power position are self-focused. Galinsky found that people in low-power positions have other focuses (Galinsky, 2006). The general question that researchers continue to focus on is the fact whether research helps to shed light on this subject to whether the high-power person or the low power person is more interpersonally sensitive (Schmidt 2009). Many of the most common problems directly relates to the language we use. The way words work and how words create a language for which we communicate are important to every communication process. As stated previous the communication is a process where a sender sends a message, someone is there to receive the message and that message can be verbal or nonverbal. The way the sender knows if the intent of the message when received as intended is through the process of feedback (tpub.com). Many authors of books we read use words as magic. Words affect the minds of those who use them and read them. Even the blind are able to visualize the power of words by reading through touch. Words very often create a certain reality in us. This is the primary reason why language is so powerful. In my interpersonal communication class, I learned that language is not simply words. Language is the way humans communicate that serves us with a wide variety of needs in our everyday lives. Never take the words you will say to one another for granted. Those words have great power. It is important in relationships to use good verbal skills for your personal as well as professional success. I learned in this course that words create our reality. Concrete words are different from abstract words. A concrete word develops an image of a person or a thing. Abstract words may stir up abstract ideas, and concepts that are stored in our minds. Abstract ideas can realize in the mind as well. Words reflect attitudes you are caring with you at the time. Think before you speak. Please use the words you want in a proper manner. Words may affect how the other person behaves and or perceives you and therefore creates an attitude, which may be good or bad (Sole, 2011). Using words can always have multiple intentions. Using words can also have multiple interpretations. Words alone may not mean anything. The meanings are in the minds of each other. The meanings of those words can be very personal and can cause a variety of feelings. Words can cause what we see, feel, feel, touch and smell. The languages in which you speak to each other with help you maintain your special relationship (Sole, 2011). John and Jane I would like both of you to understand another very important concept that I enjoyed learning in this interpersonal communication class. If we all understand how perceptions, emotions and nonverbal expressions affect our interpersonal relationship I believe the world would be a better place to work and live. You can each give several reasons why this relationship was formed in the beginning, how you fell in love, and what makes you feel happy. One of the most important reasons is that each of you fulfilled the other social and esteem needs. You, my friends have a good solid relationship that gives each a feeling of emotional security and solid support. Both elements are important to anyone's happiness. I believe that you each will find that in the future the family relationships that build will be some of longest lasting in this relationship. Each of you has separate ties to this life biologically and very different cultural heritage but somehow you give one another a feeling of belonging (Sole, 2011). Every successful business and every good relationship, authors have cited the value of trust within confines. When a business develops a relationship of trust with their customers, the customer comes back and tells their friends about the business. When a relationship is willing to work together, they exchange elements of social support, empathy, intimacy, and learn how to deal with sensitive or raw emotions. Relationships develop over time and while doing so go through stages. The relationship starts out as an attraction and later it develops into an intimacy and or deterioration or dissolution. Break-ups end relationships. They are hurtful and couples view this as a loss. Elman stated in an article for the woman of business in 2001, "Because listening is overlooked in a scholastic setting, it is also a key business skill that most people do not have" (Elman, 2001). Trust is widely accepted as very important to any type of interpersonal organizational, communications (Grunig and Huang, 1998). A first relationship starts out in harmony because each of you presents positive information about one another to avoid any conflict. As the relationship progresses, differences between the two of you begin slowly to emerge. The small insignificant issues become overlooked however, it is very harmful to the relationship to ignore the elephant in the room. If you find that each of you have large differences in your personal and moral values, then perhaps some lifestyle choice or religious beliefs, sexual preferences, or even how to raise your children should be discussed. The most difficult problems stem from silence and not talking about the issues. Do not refuse to talk to each other. Do not placate each other. Above all, refuse to be a game player. Any of those behaviors will sabotage this relationship and prevent any honest and open communication (Sole, 2011). Emotional intelligence or (EI) defined in several different ways. To have emotional intelligence one must perceive, or evaluate, or control emotions. Emotional intelligence shows up in varying degrees in psychology, intelligence testing, emotional testing, emotional IQ testing, and in child psychology research. What is interesting is how emotional intelligence plays certain roles in interpersonal relationships. If we break down emotional intelligence in to four sections, we will have, perceiving of emotions, reasoning of emotions, understanding of emotions, and managing of emotions (Salovey, 1990). When we perceive emotions, in most cases this involves understanding nonverbal signals. This involves reading facial expressions and body language. The reason of emotions involves the using of our own emotions to use thinking and other cognitive activities. When something has gotten our attention, we respond and react to that with emotions. Most emotions have a wide variety of meanings. If someone is expressing anger emotions, the interpreter must determine the reason why. If one of you experience anger it is up to the other to figure what causes this. Something happened to create this reaction. Managing emotions is not always easy. However, the ability to manage issues like anger is part of being emotionally intelligent. One has to make a conscious effort to regulate, respond, to say what is appropriate. This is very important to the concept of all emotional management techniques (Salovey, 1990). Emotions in the workplace have had some attention. Theorist believes that the concept of emotional intelligence is particularly important in the places we work. Theorist have further linked conceptual emotional intelligence with the competencies influencing the workplace events with to the emotional intelligence individual in an effort to make critical behavior choices regarding certain impression management strategies (Amy, 2011). The foundation of a theoretical framework is also been seriously examined. I found the fact that researches recently indicate that within the framework, five pillars of competences in emotional intelligence. Those include self-awareness, self-regulation, self-motivation, social empathy, and social skills (Goleman, 1998). I first began this letter; John and Jane by presenting in my thesis statement that The most fundamental concept is that no two people are alike. There exists a plethora, of strategies and concepts to understand, in totality the issues in interpersonal communication. The five most important concepts I have presented in this letter to you. It is imperative to continue to seek and identify the barriers that most effect interpersonal interactions. If both of you continue to assess the personal communication to positively improve your personal communication competencies the relationship will grow stronger. The development of strategies for active, critical amd empathic listening is hugely important to a relationships success. When we finally recognize that words have enormous power over us that affect our attitudes, behavior and perceptions that one can visualize the relationship will respond in kind. Our perception, emotions, and nonverbal expressions affect your relationship too. Finally, I provided what concepts stand out in an effort to define emotional intelligence and the role is plays in an interpersonal relationship. I thank-you for giving me this opportunity to share with you what I found most important in the recent class I took on Interpersonal Communications. Most Sincerely, You're Forever Friend, References Arnett, R. C., & Nakagawa, G. (1983). THE ASSUMPTIVE ROOTS OF EMPATHIC LISTENING: A CRITIQUE. Communication Education, 32(4), 368. Retrieved from EBSCO. Brunner, B. R. (2008). Listening, Communication & Trust: Practitioners' Perspectives of Business/Organizational Relationships. International Journal of Listening, 22(1), 73-82. Retrieved from ProQuest. Cole, A. Y., & Rozell, E. J. (2011). Emotional Intelligence and Impression Management: A Theoretical Framework. Insights to a Changing World Journal, (5), 93-114. Retrieved from EBSCO host. Elman, C.B. (2001). Sometimes it is all in what you are listening for. Women in Business 53, 5. Galinsky, A. D., Magee, J. C., Ines, M. E., & Gruenfeld, D. H. (2006). Power and perspectives not taken. Psychological Science, 17, 1068–1074. Goleman, D. (1998). Working with emotional intelligence. New York, Bantam Books. Grunig, J.E. & Huang, Y. (1998). From organizational effectiveness to relationships indicators: Antecedents of relationships, public relation strategies, and relationship outcomes. Mahwah, NJ. Erlbaum Publication/Education. Howland, L. (2007). Come Together: A partnership approach to integrated diversity communication. Public Relations Tactic, 14, 7. Retrieved from ProQuest. Janasz, S.C., Dowd, K.O., Schneider, B.C. (2002). Interpersonal Communication Skills. McGraw-Hill Companies. copyright © 2002 The McGraw?Hill Companies Maslow, A. (1968). The hierarchy of needs. Abraham Maslow. Pearson Education. Prentice/ Hall. McComb, K. B., & Jablin, F. M. (1984). VERBAL CORRELATES OF INTERVIEWER EMPATHIC LISTENING AND EMPLOYMENT INTERVIEW OUTCOMES. Communication Monographs, 51(4), 353. Retrieved from ProQuest. Salovey, P., & Mayer, J. (1990). Emotional intelligence. Imagination, cognition, and personality, 9(3), 185-211. Schmid Mast, M., Jonas, K., & Hall, J. A. (2009). Give a person power and he or she will show interpersonal sensitivity: The phenomenon and its why and when. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 97(5), 835-850. doi:10.1037/a0016234 Sole, K. (2011). Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication. Ashford University. Bridge point Education Inc. The Communication Process. Retrieved May 27, 2011. From website http://www.tpub.com/content/administration/.../css/14300_46.htm Weger, H., Castle, G.R. and Emmett, M.C. (2010). Active Listening in Peer Interviews. The Influence of Message Paraphrasing on Perceptions of Listening Skills. International Journal of Listening, 24. 34-49. Taylor and Frances Group, LLC. Retrieved from ProQuest. Yalcinkaya, F. F., Muluk, N. B., & Sahin, S. S. (2009). Effects of listening ability on speaking, writing and reading skills of children who were suspected of auditory processing difficulty. International Journal of Pediatric Otorhinolaryngology, 73(8), 1137-1142. doi:10.1016/j.ijporl.2009.04.022. Retrieved from ProQuest. Read More