Why are human relationships potentially healing - Essay Example

? The paper is an effort to understand the positive effects of human relationships and it explores the significance of individual actions and behaviors that directly or indirectly influences ones social interaction. Further it tries to analyze the reasons for which the human relationship is considered as a remedy for all ailments of a society. Study of both empirical and subjective theory of behavioral and psychological aspects has been undertaken along with its co-relations with neuroscience on human interactions. The practical significance of positive interpersonal relation across the various spheres of human interaction influencing and affecting ones lifestyle is explained with relevant examples for understanding the basic principles. The paper explores and examines the various researches and the theories concerning the incontestable and affirmative healing effects of human relationships. Keywords: Positive Psychology, Interpersonal relation, Communication and human relations, kinship and family relations. Man is unpredictable by nature with instincts not bounded in defined parameters. A person may react differently in different situations and circumstances depending on a lot of factors which are far more complex for the human mind to discern. Hence it has been rightly said that Human relationship is the most complex and complicated relation between individuals and groups. However, one cannot presume to do away with authentic research and surveys to understand the dynamism of human relations. In fact, the human relationship does have the healing capability that could not be cured and by any other medicines. That is one of the reasons why many people urge to go for therapy, counselling and consultation. One of the main results of our fast paced mechanical life is loneliness. This is often the main cause of various social, cultural and psychological disorders today. Money being the driven force backed by the media hype increasing the demands for more better life and livelihood we are compelled to become slaves of capitalization. The outcome is that we tend to loose our basic foundation. We have started neglecting our family-sometimes intentionally and often unconsciously. This hampers the bondage that we had. Expectations never become a reality and frustrations crop in. Man becomes lonely and gives in to quick, false escapes to intake of drugs, cigarettes and alcohol. There has been many scientific research and discussions assessing the harmful effects on human isolation leading to trauma and mental depressions which affects the physical health too. This is a cycle. Therefore in order escape from this one have to be back to one’s own den and seek to develop and nurture the human bonds. Man is a social being and the human brain is the most “social organ”. (Cazolino, Louis, “The Neuroscience of human relationships,” 2006). Through several studies and research on human brain it became evident how the human brain develop and change depending on the human interactions and relations. Positively, when the human reacts with positive elements it demonstrates a healing and healthy development of the brain cells and membranes which in a way has the capacity to ameliorate and relieve the stress and strains of our lives. Negatively if scope for proper healthy human interaction and relationship development is not given the priority the ill-effects of such behaviours like autism, borderline cases, insomnia are inevitable. The break down of join family living may be one of the factors. Moreover, in recent times we find the breakdown in the institution of marriage itself. Recent study and survey has proved that a child born out of healthy parents having loving marital relationships are much healthier and meritorious than those who are born in single parent background. Therefore to be healthy and stay healthy one should not one look into ways of how to improve and develop one’s relationship with individuals at various levels. Within ones family, one needs to grow and develop the feelings of love, understanding and togetherness among the family members. At work one needs to develop a healthy and amicable environment with one’s colleagues and friends. While dealing with clients one could try and add some human touch instead of being more mechanical in approach. Another helpful tip is to have healthy friends around so that one can share ones thoughts easily. To live a healthy life one has to make such positive effort of mending and settling up the relationship ties within ones social unit. Instead of spending thousands of dollars on therapies and counselling just to invest adequate time to ones family perhaps keeps many health hazards away. A relationship may be defined as a kinship between individuals and groups that constitutes one’s social behavior. According to the subjective perspective of behavioral science how an individual behaves is the outcome of an individual’s aspirations and interest. Steve Pavina in his book Understanding Human Relationships has articulated a meaningful analysis of human relations that how an individual behaves reflect the relation with one has within oneself. (Steve Pavina, 2007). It is our consciousness that reflects back to us under the lens of our conceptualization. So if one is interested to change and improves someone’s relationship to lead a healthy lifestyle is in one’s parents or partners in relations, one has to bring such changes first within one self before pointing it to others. This is the subjective nature of human relationship which is not quantifiable. Further the external relations that we share with others are actually a replica of the internal relations that we share with our self. In his book, Steve Pavina has stated that if we conduct a small experiment and ask an individual to enlist the list of things that one would like one’s partner to work on, one may go on and on listing all the details. However, if at the very instance one is asked to read that back to oneself, things becomes very difficult. In fact, demanding. This is the human psychology and the human relation is an integral part of the psychology. To foster a healthy relation one should have a healthy relation with one self. For the complaints and grudges that we have about others are actually the dissatisfaction within our self. Positively the more better we improve and work on with our self –learning to love, to share , to forgive and forget, the more healthier the relations we would share with our peers. We get back what we give in and the more compassion and commitment we have with others, we are sure to get back the same from them. This is the secret of a balanced and happy lifestyle. The healing power of relations lies here. The ‘Minding relationship’ of empirical research and the Confucianism in fact talks about such human traits and practices that directly or indirectly influence the social behaviors. An example of such trait may be to understand the other person, respecting others and giving ‘benefit of doubts’, acceptance of a person as an individual and so on. (Dr Alan Carr, Positive Psychology, 2004). The ‘Magic ratio’ of the eminent psychologist John Gottman clearly states that for any marriage to be a success there has to be at least five positive interactions when there is one negative interactive. This is the healthy ratio. If we turn the complaints and grudges into positive thoughts to seek areas of improvement and development, appreciating what we have, avoid criticizing we can surely march towards a healthy life style. According to the study of neurobiology any positive vibrations and interactions of bonding releases a hormone called oxytoxin and vasopressin which is an essential element to reduce physical and mental stress and stains and averts trauma and others health hazards. The secretion of the particular hormone strengthens the bonds and relationships which has a positive effect on the human health. The same hormone is released during labor and breast feeding which are clear evidences of maternal bond between a mother and child. Isolation and lack of good relations are the main cause of health hazards today. A positive human relation and interaction leads to a successful happy life and that is the most essential thing to be achieved for which cannot be brought by money. Indeed there are so many things that cannot be brought by money. An example of such quality may be simplicity, love, friendship, sacrifice and many more. The more we nurture these relations the better we live. (Dr Alan Carr, 2004). The mere act of communication between two individuals acts as a panacea for a healthy human relationship. (Allyn and Bacon, Family and Relationships, 2008-2009). Further, no matter how complex the issues may be the fact that communication, takings things out is made possible leads a positive direction towards a resolution. This idea that been further strengthened by the research done by Jeanylette C. Alyson on Communication and Human Relations skills of school administrations that was conducted way back in 2003-2004 including about 104 classroom teachers and 27 school administrators. This study revealed that the ratings given by the groups, the teachers and administrators on human relations were similar. The conclusion of the findings clearly stated that communications and development of human relations are an integral factor in achieving an efficient administration. Over the years the importance of healthy human relations has been understood and hence we find that today, efforts are being made to develop and foster the human inter-personal relations in various spheres like family, work , schools and institutions and social spheres. The use of modern days social networking sites promoting human interactions through electronic means is an example of such activity. The office of Equal Opportunities Mission (OEO) had conducted ‘The Human Relations Camp’ which was aimed to encourage and strengthen the inter-racial and inter –cultural amicable relations between the individuals, developing proper communication skills for a healthy fruitful relation among the fellow students of the County district School of Palm Beach County. Therefore the human factor in an organization or any social and cultural institutions cannot be undermined and underestimated. The secret for a good health and development lies in the healthy human relations that we share with our fellow members of family, peer groups or institutions. (Jeanylette C. Alyson, 2003-2004). Happiness in life cannot be measured and quantified. The theory of positive psychology primarily tries to understand and analyze the positive effects of human interaction of a subject and not merely trying to devise immediate remedies of nullifying the negativity of deficits. Positive emotions include contentment, satisfaction and trust, believe, feeling of fulfillment and so on. In this regard it is worth mentioning the work of the scholar Seligman in his book Authentic Happiness which tries to classify happiness into past, present and future. The past is something which we cannot change. However if one has a positive approach towards a positive believe in future of good hope and confidence, the present becomes meaningful and momentary pleasures and happiness are given the due significance. (Seligman, 2002). The physical pleasures come from the senses. Example, the smell of a rose, flavors of ones favorite cuisine and satisfying physical relationships. On a higher level and degree of positive feelings includes the activities involving spiritual and charitable deeds and actions. An example of such activities includes helping a friend, sponsoring a child, getting involved in social activities etc. Moreover, several works of study and analysis of understand the cognitive and affective elements of happiness in positive psychology also reflects the positive effects of a healthy human relationship across various spheres of ones interaction-family , work or social life. In this respect it is important to mention that relation ship if successful and enduring has a definite positive effects on one life. Several studies have revealed that marriage couples are happier than unmarried partners. However it is equally important to keep in mind that an unhappy marriage can be more dangerous and threatening than an agreed living relation or even a coessential divorce. Exception is not a rule. Marriage indeed provides a higher sense of unity and has a positive effect on mental and physical health and development. Children born out of couples with a healthy marital life display a higher degree of mental and emotional growth and development. (R. Fox, Kinship and Marriage, 1967) No matter how big a tree grows it always sticks to its roots. Such is the bond of kinship. Amongst the human race the bond of kinship is a close knit relationship within ones social unit- family and community. In sociology the kinship is means a relation between individual and groups related by blood, source of common origin, marital relationships, inheritance and descent. It even includes community, race, clan and neighborhood on a broader spectrum. According to the positive psychology research of resilience on children, there are particularly three main factors that defend the children against all odds and adversity of external factors. They are the intrinsic characteristic of a subject, the particular child, the nature and characteristic of the subject’s family and the type of community that one lives in. (John Wiley and Sons Fostering the Future, 2004). This is because man by nature as discussed before, is a social being whose development is deep rooted in the social interaction and communication. At the basic level –i.e. the family, it is evident that if the child gets a supportive and understanding family with warmth and support, the child has a better orientation to life. An example is a loving parent, a friendly and close siblings or a supportive grandparent. Similarly the kind of community one lives deeply influences ones behavior and attitude. An example may be a good student-teacher relationship or a responsible and protective neighborhood. The research made on the basis of ‘Societal- Cognitive-Motivational-Theory’ further affirms this perspective. The theory clearly states the development and growth of children are directly depending on the socio-cultural environment that one is associated with. Those locations having a deep sense of cultural affinity and kinship displays a positive psychological and physical development. On contrary a location charged with feelings of anger, hatred, jealousy and lack of kinship bonds has a negative effect on the mental development of individuals (Stout, 2002). This is because the humans are primarily adaptive by nature and are directly or indirectly dependent on each other. The more positive energy we give and receive the better is our healthy psychological development. Therefore for a fruitful better life one has to shun away from such habits and behaviors like being judgmental, biased, racial, complex, inquisitive, insensitive, skeptical and most importantly to practice control anger. Cause it is we who can make a relation appealing and happy and on the contrary may be the cause of its breakdown. As discussed the positive effects of human relationship are far more than the negative selfish desires of individual traits and practices. A survey conducted on a manufacturing unit of UK on the Importance of interdependence and Autonomy for employee strain and satisfaction by Christine Spriggs, P.R. Jackson and Sharon K. Parker evidently conveyed the message that in organization where there is a healthy employee relation and team effort the job satisfaction and the output is greater. Employees share a healthy social interaction which positively acts as a motivating factor for attaining a greater productivity in business. When the team members shoulder the responsibilities together and take the ownership in actions and efforts due to healthy relationship with the management the company as a whole flourishes. (Christene Spriggs, P.R. Jackson and Sharon.K.Parker, November 1, 2000). Thus it can be concluded that human relationship though complex and often confusing has a therapeutic effect on an individual, group as well as a society as a whole. If there is any energy that co-relates and links individual actions and reactions then the more positively we interact and develop our relationships within ourselves, the better we would relate to others. Works Cited 1) The neuroscience of human relationships: Attachment and the developing social brain. By Cozolino, Louis. New York, NY, US: W W Norton & Co. (2006). X 447 pp. 2) Positive psychology: the science of happiness and human strengths pg 9-11 By Dr. Alan Carr, published in 2004. 3) R. Fox, Kinship and Marriage (1967) n.p.; I. Buchler and H. A. Selby, Kinship and Social Organization (1968). n.p. 4) “Fostering the Future”, 2004, John Wiley and Sons. Published By John Wiley and Sons, Inc, Hoboken, New Jersey. 5) The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of Positive emotions-By Fredrickson, Barbara L. American Psychologist, Vol 56(3), Mar 2001, 218-226. doi: 10.1037/0003-066X.56.3.218 6) B. Farber, Comparative Kinship Systems (1968); J. R. Goody, Comparative Studies in Kinship (1969). 7) Handbook of Positive Psychology in Schools-VOL-1 by Michael J. Furlong.2004 8 ) Handbook of Positive Psychology-Vol. 2 Susan T. Fiske, Daniel T. Gilbert, Gardner Lindzey – 2010. 9) Production team working: “The importance of interdependence and autonomy for Employee strain and satisfaction”-Human Relations-Christine Spriggs, Paul R.Jackson and Sharon K. Parker, web, n.p, November 1, 2000 vol. 53 no. 11 1519-1543. 10) Medicine, Therapy or Relational Revolution? By Ivan Illich, web, n.p, http://www.thenewyoga.org/the_new_socialism/medtherhrr.htm Read More