How Do Arab American Children Cope with Being Raised Biculturally in America Today - Essay Example

?How do Arab American children cope with being raised biculturally in America today? Who am I? This might be the one and only question that every human being has encountered at least once in a life- is our identity determined by the geographical area in which we live? Are we a product of history or a simple drop in the ocean of humanity? What determines our identity- race, nationality, gender, or character? Or are we a collage of them? These questions and the answers to them form the context in which, we have to answer the query, How do Arab American children cope with being raised biculturally in America today? Being an Arab child brought up in America, I have lived in troubled times and faced such troubling questions. But my attempt has always been to take that question as an inspiration, not a provocation. I have spent more consistent time in the United States, receiving my education in the U.S., being raised by an American mother and I have stronger roots in the American culture. My first language is English, and I am like any other American youth in my taste selections of food, clothing, music and even romance. When looking back, I wonder how it would have been, if I were equally immersed in the culture of my father’s place of origin, Qatar. I have a friend, half-German and half-Indian, who is a passionate nature lover and who says, “My roots are in nature.” And I thought, what a beautiful concept! Thinking on similar lines, I also would like to say, “My roots are in humanity,” but I find it is not so simple as that. The underlying theme of nature is harmony while that of humanity is checkered with conflicts. We, humans have been defining our self more based on differences than on similarities. I realize that many Arab children who have been brought up in Germany might be having similar thoughts. My life started soon after the Gulf war of 1990-91 ended and I have grown up through the period that hosted Afghan war, the September 11 tragedy and the Iraq occupation by US forces. Leading a normal life in America, far away from the geographical and even emotional coefficients of the conflict zone, I could see a historical human drama unfolding. As a child, I had only a vague sense of being part of that drama. I was moreover insulated by the secular ambience that my parents constructed for me. Research has indicated, “religion is an important factor in Arab American families, but not in the way American media and cynical politicians have portrayed it” (Lamanna and Riedmann, 71). The western stereotype of Arab families is busted in such research as they show that “religion is important to Arab Americans, just as it is to the majority of Americans” (Lamanna and Riedmann, 71). My father is from Doha, Qatar and my mother is American. They met while they were at University. Shortly after graduation, my father took a job in Dubai (United Arab Emirates), and my mother went with him. After about a year, transferred to London, he settled with my mother in England where they lived for the next three years. Then my father had a job opportunity in his home country and went to Doha, again with my mother. That is where I was born on July 9 1991, just after Operation Desert Storm had concluded. My family remained in Doha for the next several years until my mother wanted to return to the United States, mainly for the purpose of education for my siblings and me. Our family would make the long trip back and forth to Doha many times throughout my childhood and teenage years. That is when I began to feel that I was not Arab enough in Doha and sometimes not American enough in America. I have dual citizenship, an American passport and Qatari passport. I look more Arabic, but I cannot speak Arabic fluently. I even took Arabic language class in college and studied politics of the Middle East in college, just to fill in the cultural gap, to understand things better. But it is a sad fact that Arab language is taught in only a few schools in America. People would always ask me where I was from. And people in America have a hard time pronouncing my last name. It was when I was one-year old that Walt Disney produced the film, Aladdin, depicting for the first time in American mainstream, an Arabian hero (cited by Wingfield and Caraman). The film stereotyped Arabs with the opening song, “Oh, I come from a land, From a faraway place, Where the caravan camels roam, Where they cut off your ear If they don‘t like your face, It‘s Barbaric, but hey, it‘s home” (Aladdin). As I grew up, I also came to know about the Arab stereotypes, the notion about “the Arab world as a place of deserts and camels, of arbitrary cruelty and barbarism” (cited by Wingfield and Caraman). After the Arabs of America raised protest, Walt Disney changed the lyrics of the opening song of the film, so that barbarism is attributed not to the Arab people, but to the immense heat experienced there (cited by Wingfield and Caraman). This is symbolic of the American prejudices to Arabs, Islam and the Muslim. Both of my parents were well-educated, open-minded people who could see the beauty in both religions and allowing each other to practice their own beliefs. We celebrated the typical American holidays like Christmas and Easter, even while we were living in Doha, in a Muslim country. While we were in Qatar, we also celebrated Eid and observed the holy month of Ramadan. I do believe in God, but I have no declared faith that I practice on a regular basis. Since my Mother did not really know much about the practices of Islam, she never could really teach us about that religion while living in the U.S. And basically neither parent forced religion on us. When I was younger, making the trip overseas to Doha, to visit my father’s family, it was a foreign land to me as I left it at a very young age. I even felt uncomfortable there, sometimes. My Qatari family somewhat adored our status of being American and regarded it as a superior quality. They were eager to speak in English to me, to see my clothes and toys and hair cut. They saw me as their cousin from America, not just their cousin. Now I understand that all this was part of a wider social phenomenon, the increasing cultural exchanges via modern communication facilities between the West and the Arab world. To cite an example, I would like to trace the history of Arab music and the influence of Western music on it. It was during the early twentieth century that “Arab music witnessed the growing influence of European music theory” (Racy, 5). It has been observed, “by World War II, many indigenous musical genres and performance mannerisms had gradually disappeared” (Racy, 5). On the other side of this cultural hegemony, was also the stereotyping of Arabian culture in the west abound with “negative images of Arab women as belly dancers and harem girls, and Arab men as violent terrorists, oil “sheiks,” and marauding tribesmen who kidnap blond Western women” (Wingfield and Caraman). I was also brought up among such stereotypes. People can be so ignorant sometimes so that they have no clue about geography, language, culture or even what they are prejudiced about. To begin with, people are not sure what the differences are in simple terminology, like the words Arabic, Arab, Muslim, and Islam, for example. Many think that all Arabs are Muslims, all Muslims are Arabs, and that all the Arabic-speaking people are Muslims. They are not aware that some Arabic-speakers could be Christian or Jewish. Arabic is the language of 300 million people from 20 countries (Shaheen and Latif, 95). The word Arab refers to an individual who speaks the Arabic language and/or who has Semitic roots to the Arabian Peninsula. And the most interesting fact could be that “sixty-five percent of Arab Americans are Christian” (Lamanna and Riedmann, 71). Also it can be seen that “more than 80 percent of Arab Americans marry outside their ethnicity” (Lamanna and Riedmann, 148). When I look back into my school years, now I remember that “history and geography textbooks, …(have) … an over-portrayal of deserts, camels and nomads” in their lessons about the Arab world (Wingfield and Caraman). There were also “some textbooks, which link(ed) Islam to violence and intolerance, ignoring its commonalities with Christianity and Judaism” (Wingfield and Caraman). It was only after I grew up, I started wondering about the similarities between “Yahweh, God the Father, and Allah,” the god of Islam (Wingfield and Caraman). I could make such comparisons when I grew up simply because I had very secular parents. But I remember such interfaith perspectives were not presented in my school. After the September 11 attacks, it became very troublesome for kids like me. I was only ten years old but the kids who went to school with me used to make racist comments and behave rudely with me. I was called a “camel jockey” and “desert nigger.” I felt ashamed, embarrassed and angry. I could not understand why I was being targeted. This was my country too. I felt the same way about the 9/11 attacks as everyone else did. I could never see any logic in whatsoever these people have been doing in the name of Islam. The Islam that I had been familiar with had taught me that to kill even one innocent person is equal to killing all the humanity. The media also had a huge responsibility in stereotyping Arabs as terrorists and promoting racial hatred (El-Farra). It has been observed, “the present day Arab stereotype parallels the image of Jews in pre-Nazi Germany, where Jews were painted as dark, shifty-eyed, venal and threateningly different people” (cited by El-Farra). During the Arab-Israel conflict, I could see that “mainstream media places the Arab states in the position of violence and power, while Israel is left as a nation attempting to protect its freedom and people” (El-Farra). I have also seen statements like "the world's supplies of oil and price levels are manipulated and controlled by greedy Arabs," which came from the pen of an Editor with The Washington Post (Ghareeb, 1983). Shaheen has drawn attention to the popular cartoon shows in American television and has listed instances when there is Arab-bashing, “ Richie Rich topples an outlandish sheik. Scooby and his pals outwit Uncle Abdullah and his slippery genie. In another Scooby-Doo show an Arab magician,… wants to turn Scooby into a monkey” (25). Wingfield and Caramen have described how an Arab child could be emotionally torn between the contradicting reports that may be getting while growing up in America. They (Wingfield and Caramen) have observed: The message about the Arab world in school conflict with the values and traditions passed on at home. The images of Arabs which are conveyed in the classroom may have nothing in common with their relatives and experiences at home or their friends and relatives in the neighborhood, church/mosque, or elsewhere. They also find their peers to be influenced by negative and inaccurate images and preconceptions about the Arab heritage. Obviously these circumstances lead to hurtful experiences. When I read Lisa Suhair Majaj, a Palestinian American doctoral student, at the University of Michigan, writing about her experience of growing up in America, I could relate to it, word by word (67). She (Majaj) has said: Once I claimed a past, spoke my history, told my name, the walls of incomprehension and hostility rose, brick by brick: un-funny ethnic jokes; jibes about terrorists and kalashnikovs, and about veiled women and camels; or worse, the awkward silences, the hasty shifts to other subjects. Searching for images of my Arab self in American culture I found only unrecognizable stereotypes. In the face of such incomprehension I could say nothing” (67). But I have really begun to learn and embrace the Qatari culture though it was only after I reached the age of 17 that I began to feel a little proud again of my other heritage and my other country, Qatar. Qatar is a peace loving country with an excellent relationship with America. The culture, language and customs are beautiful and peaceful. After writing this sentence, I pause to have a re-look at the words that I have used- ‘peaceful.’ I wonder why I have to assert that Qatari culture is peaceful. Is there any culture on this earth, which is not beautiful, peaceful? But still, when I have to talk about Qatari culture, I am compelled by the circumstances to repeat that this culture is a peaceful one- a sad result of negative stereotyping. As I said, I was never introduced to the rich heritage of Arab civilization in my American classrooms. But once I started to learn more about Arab heritage, I came to know about the contribution of Arabs to the world of knowledge and culture. For example, now I know that it is the Arabic numerals, that we are commonly using and that the decimal system, geometry and al-jabr (algebra) had originated in in ancient Greece, India, and the medieval Arab world (Wingfield and Caramen). I also am aware that astronomy that was developed in the ancient Arab civilization was the jumping point for modern science (Wingfield and Caramen). Growing up an Arab child in America was easy for me when I compare my experiences with other people’s narratives. For example, it was recently that I read what Ray Hanania wrote about his childhood in America. He (Hanania) has narrated his experiences in school after the Israeli-Palestine conflict: The humiliation was on TV, in the movies, in the newspapers, in magazines, and in school. Time magazine published Arab jokes. You couldn't turn on a television set without hearing about the celebrations in the Jewish community, and the humiliation of the Arabs. "Hey, Herman, whose side are you on?" one of my Jewish friends asked. "The Arabs' or the Israelis?" All I could think about was that scene in Exodus where the Arab who was friendly to the Jews was killed by his own people. Hanania has also described how in University of Illinois, the Arab student accused him of being “too Arabic” and “communicating with the Zionists. ” To balance between two cultures, which are presumably at odds with each other (at least the common sense in America tells so), is truly a Herculean task- especially for the unprepared child who has Arab blood in her and yet thinks she is American. How could we cope amidst so much politics, so much racial ignorance and so much mutual doubt? I think, personally for me, it was the support that I got from my parents that lessened the psychological injuries caused. Also knowledge relieved me from my personal frustrations regarding my identity. I could see that my experiences were not personal at all. I came to realize that they have a historical background. Reading about Middle East politics and learning more about Qatari culture, I was able to look beyond the limitations of time and space that I inhabit. I could realize that in the long run, there will only be the great fountain of culture that survives. Petty egos of people and petty emotions like racism will be cast away with just one stroke by the great leveler-‘time’. What I have been thinking is that it is ignorance that makes people side with racial hatred. And also it is the political aims of the economically affluent that make the situation worse by trying to cash in from the conflicts. This is why America could not find any WMDs in Iraq and still justify the war. I have heard the viewpoint that it is a war of economy, a war of oil that is being waged in Iraq. So I realize that religion or race is sometimes only used as a disguise. One advantage that I see in me for being brought up amidst these conflicts is, that I have a wish to prove to the world, Arab world is not what it is generally perceived by the average American citizen. I also have a desire to show that like any other culture, the Arab culture is also rooted in basic values of humanism. It was with this desire in mind that I started studying Qatari culture. The adversities and self-doubt has enabled me to develop a strong sense of cosmopolitanism, a more humane identity. It can be inferred that humanism has been my coping mechanism. But it was, in a sense, easier for me to cope because I was half-American. But for a child of Arab parents in America, the road ahead is thornier. It is a proven fact that “negative influences and experiences” as discussed above “can damage an adolescent’s quest for a positive self-identity” (L’Abate, 113). The gravity of the situation is reflected in that “ambivalence about racial/ethnic identity in minority children may emerge because of conflicts in expectations between school (individualistic) and home (collectivistic); differences in language and economic power; and images of racial/ethnic groups as powerless and negative” (L’Abate, 113). In this context, it is evident that the Arab children are not coping well with being raised bi-culturally in America today. Coping mechanisms I feel the most prevalent surviving tactic that Arab children learn without teaching is camouflage. They just disguise as pure Americans though their appearance may betray them. In all ways, they try to look not different. This is why Majaj has told in her story, “I considered myself white: my olive-tinged skin, while an asset in terms of acquiring a ready tan, did not seem a dramatic marker of difference.” Hanania also describe a similar incident when he says, “Dad insisted that all his children be given American-sounding names. I was named after a doctor in South Shore hospital.” The Arab youth will generally avoid wearing the traditional dress and will speak English alone in public in America. They would try to win and American girl friend even. But for the more sensitive and sensible ones, such camouflaging is self-derogatory. Hence at one juncture in their lives, they try to be brave and express their identity. This can be seen when Majaj narrates that, “I have feared physical assault when wearing something that identifies me as an Arab.” As far as I know, many Arab children who grew up in America also adopted another coping tactics. They became ardently religious just out of the frustration of being stereotyped and doubted. They could see that they will never be accepted as pure Americans. Hence they try to identify with a culture, which they are only remotely familiar with. In this way, they seem to avenge the discriminaton that they are facing. But the tragedy is that this could only be a peripheral assimilation as it would always be a culture in exile. This is why Majaj says, “turning to the world for some reflection of myself, however, I found only distortion. Perhaps it was asking too much of that younger self of mine, overwhelmed by a sense of my identity's invalidity no matter which culture I entered, to learn the necessary art of self-definition.” All these show that Arab children being brought up in America are not coping well in today’s world. One can only hope this is a passing stage. Sooner or later, the Arab Americans will have to stand firm on their bicultural roots and also anchor their tap-roots in a cosmopolitan human culture. The future has to see the “development of bicultural skills to create a consolidated cultural point of view, coping mechanisms, and strategies for survival” (L’Abet, 113). Along with that, more inclusive research has to be carried out into the effects of biculturation in an Arab-American context. Works Cited Aladdin, John Musker and Ron Clements (Dir.). Walt Disney Pictures, 1992. Film. Ghareeb, E. Split Vision: The Portrayal of Arabs in the American Media.  Washington, D.C. American-Arab Affairs Council, 1983. Print. Hanania, Ray, Ya Habibi: An Arab Childhood, Chicago Magazine, November 1988. Print. L’Abet, Luciano, Family Psychopathology: The Relational Roots of Dysfunctional Behavior, New York: Guilford Press, 1998. Print. Lamanna, Mary Ann and Riedmann, Agnes, Marriages, Families, and Relationships: Making Choices in a Diverse Society, London: Cengage Learning, 2011. Majaj, L.S., Boundaries: Arab/American, In J. Kadi (Ed.), Food for our Grandmothers. (pp. 65-86). Boston, MA: South End Press, 1994. Print. Racy, Ali Jihad, Making Music in the Arab World: The Culture and Artistry of Tarab, Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2004. Print. Shaheen, Sean and Latif, Zawiah Abdul, Lebanon, Singapore: Marshall Cavendish, 2007. Print. Shaheen, J. G.  The TV Arab.  Ohio: Bowling Green State University Popular Press, 1984. Print. Wingfield, Marvin and Caraman, Bushra, Arab Stereotypes and American Educators, American-Arab Anti-discrimination Committee, March 1995. web. April 14, 2011, http://www.adc.org/index.php?id=283 Read More