Self-Discovery and Changes While Attending the University - Term Paper Example

?Self-discovery and changes while attending the of XXX Introduction I have been suffering from severe pain in my arm since eleven, it was then that I was diagnosed that I have bone cancer. The only method presented in order for me to survive was to cut my arm off. That was the reality of my life, and I knew that I had to accept it first to be able to overcome it. I was actually experiencing reality. Reality is experienced in four ways through various domains, which are our body, thought, emotion and awareness. Most people experience their world through the means of their body, thought and emotion. Identifying with these domains can result to our senses being taken over by endless thoughts or floods of emotion, a suffering that most people know well. That is what I was going through upon realizing that I had cancer. In the spiritual world, the domain of consciousness or awareness arises. People become detached from the domains of thought, emotions, and body. It seems like 'nothing matters' because they think they do not exist. It is important to integrate the domain of awareness into one's life. The misconception I had was that I failed to realize that in order for me to integrate myself with the spiritual world, I must be fully aware of my present situation first. People believe they are being spiritual by holding themselves in the domain of consciousness. An integrated person will move freely from one domain to another. No domain is of higher value than another. When people experience through the domain of emotions, it would be a mistake to talk as if they are in the domain of awareness. The ideology of 'nothing matters' is not applicable when it is evident that a person's feelings is important. Upon the realization of my situation, I have yet to discover myself. I was able to achieve this during my study at Bridgeport University. People have different needs, which depends on which domain they are experiencing their reality through. Each domain has its own needs that are absolutely natural for every being. The consciousness domain needs the body mind to exist, whereas the domain that caters to emotion needs love (Powers, 2000). An essential theme in literature is that of self-discovery, which can come in different ways to different characters. For some, a moment of understanding occurs, an epiphany in which the individual suddenly sees more clearly. For others, it comes only after several years of developing awareness slowly. For many, both can be true at the same time, as years of understanding can coalesce in a moment of epiphany. Both Pip in Charles Dickens's novel "Great Expectations" and Gabriel in James Joyce's "The Dead" spent their lifetime learning before they were able to achieve a fuller understanding of some of the aspects of their world. Pip's life is bound with issues of social hierarchy and class. The concept of parents plays an important role in Charles Dickens' Great Expectations, wherein parentage determines one's social status. As for my case, I have spent time in Ecuador before coming into realization, which transpired upon my attendance at the University of Bridgeport. In one of the short stories among the nine stories called Teddy, Teddy and the student discussed a variety of topics. Throughout the discussion, the extent of Teddy's knowledge surprised Nicholson. Teddy shared his insights about the nature of the universe. His explanation of the relationship between space and time closely reflected the Vedanta Karma theory and he claimed to remember details about his previous lives. Teddy revealed that in his previous life, he was a man in India who was inclined towards spiritual advancement, but stopped meditating after meeting a woman. He discussed about enlightenment and how to elevate spiritually by purging oneself of logic. Through reading Teddy's explanations, I was able to take myself into the real logical world, thus guiding me to taking life as it is. My journey began when my parents did not want to accept that my arms needed to be cut off, so they sought for other means to help me overcome my sickness. The solution was to leave my life, my friends and family, in Ecuador, and begin the battle with cancer in a new country, the United States. I had to accept the new environment and my new family, which marked the start of my self discovery. I must admit that I was afraid of all the physical and mental changes that was happening all at once. According to Taimur Martin's novel Plowing the Dark, the prisoner of war spent over five years analyzing and replaying his life while trapped in a single room. He scarcely has outside contact and only talks little with the guards. For leisure, he reads a book called Great Escape, and he was able to learn how to communicate through a Morse-style tapping code with the prisoners next door. However, he spends most of his time thinking about his life and relationship with his girlfriend Gwen. When he comes out of imprisonment, he has a child and a wife, and much time has gone by. Like the prisoner of war, I felt rejected and felt that I was deprived of freedom which I was used to in my former country. Nonetheless, I had no choice but to continue my life in this new setting with my new parents and siblings. I had to continue my journey of self discovery with my present condition. At that time, my freedom was taken away because cancer caused me to stay at the hospital most of the time, and all the adults that were overprotective of me. Like the prisoner of war in Plowing The Dark, I had no freedom at the isolation rooms, where I was placed numerous times as my body had been weak and susceptible to diseases. With the same case with the prisoner in his single room, I also had no outside contacts. Like the prisoner who was able to communicate through a Morse code with other prisoners immediately, I too had learned to communicate in English slowly albeit I did not know a word in English at that time. I hoped that by the time I will be out of the wards, I would be better. During that time period, I tried to take control of my life and I was beginning to be accepted, by more people.” I had learnt self appreciation and virtue of hope while in Yale hospital. Waiting was one of the ways I had to welcome. In the parallel narrative entitled the Cavern, a virtual reality machine is being built by a host of workers at the Realization Lab. The main character aimed to recreate the world inside a three walled room. They were able to create a completely immersing experience, but near the end, Adie realized that she is complicit in some technology that will ultimately be beneficial to the military. She has to reconcile with herself, but ends up creating another room, that shows the destruction and rebuilding of civilization. Such powers ultimately explore the possibilities of what can happen in one room, because near the end, the two strands connected in a rather ambiguous way. I was building within myself a strong hope that I will come out positive, that one day I will recover from the bone cancer and I will not have to lose my arm. I hoped to be prosperous and find a discovery that can cure cancer, as the aforementioned characters hoped to recreate the world inside a three walled room. In the University of Bridgeport, my development was encouraged by the caring staff and faculty who guided me through my journey. Learning takes place in and out of the classroom and I was encouraged to acquire new information and skills, form new attitudes, insights, and understanding myself and the world around me. I was able to acquire a positive attitude toward life. J. D. Salinger's "The Catcher in the Rye" narrates the journey of one individual, Holden Caulfield, into self-discovery. However, in writing about Holden, Salinger has somehow managed to capture the conflicts and identity crises which many young adults his age are caught in. The premise of the story is about one's calling for integrity and human interaction in a mechanized society. The deepest-running theme presented in the book is Holden's stance against phoniness. His journeys take him through almost every sector of American society: the school, bars, city streets, family, etc. Salinger intended to show how widespread this phoniness has become. Salinger encourages the building of human relationships (Salinger, 2007). Holden abhors movies and shows, as he perceives that they are larger than life because they generate passiveness among society. He is depressed when someone says "good-luck" because the statement implies that fortune supersedes human effort. I had in the same way undergone a certain sort of phoniness in my new world. I was not happy with the hospital condition at first, and the fact that I had no freedom made me sad. The reality that I was not able to have recess with the other kids in school “because they could be too tough with me" didn't help my liberation from the freedom I sought for. In my perspective, the best thing was to develop relationships with them, rather than to adopt constant criticism which would have detached me from society. Such criticism could lead to one's self-loathing, which Salinger discourages. He discourages phoniness and thus I had to collect myself and realize that I needed to be positive with my new world, lest I developed self loathing. During class participation and group works, I receive love and respect, as was reflected by Franny and Zooey Glass. They believed that everyone deserves love and respect, even if they appear egotistical and shallow. I needed to get involved in class work, which helped keep me occupied, and for me to be able to do so, I needed appreciation from the rest of the members. I also wanted to gain their respect through my contributions, and also needed to be shown love. If these two virtues was not manifested during my stay at the school, I believe that I still wouldn't attain self discovery. Attaining the feat of self discovery is required for me to change my feelings and directions towards life. The university guarantees these two and through attending school, I am equipped to be in a position to change more positively and adopt a better prospect towards life. The characters in Franny and Zooey admittedly had a strong inclination to their spirituality. Their heightened awareness towards spiritual concerns prevented them from living a "normal" American life that is highlighted by materialism and commercialism. Yet this inclination is necessary for them to be lead to attaining wisdom or even enlightenment. When I was in bed in Yale New Haven Hospital, my sister would read the Bible for me and encouraged me to pray. I had faith and I came to realize that faith release you from pain, both in sickness and spiritual aspects. God guided me not to like most people from my neighbor, they all did drugs and were disrespectful. However, they did not mess with me and now that they know that I'm about to finish school, they acknowledge and respect me because of my faith. My faith in God guided me not to go out with them. I had spent most of summer in church. On Saturdays, I was a religion teacher. In this vocation, I found peace, strength, and acceptance which made me a devoted Catholic. I cling to my religion through prayers, and I was healed at the end. I didn’t engage in materialism, as it is my goal to preserve my spiritual dedication. My prerogative is to not abandon my religion, as well as my state of enlightenment. While I was nurturing my sickness, I would come across several religious beliefs, such as Pentecostal and Christians. They all came to my house to pray for me. I was also brought to their churches, but I knew I was Catholic, as is my entire family and most Ecuadorians are. I have accepted their prayers but they could not convert me to any of their doctrines. As for my relationship with my schoolmates and other members of the community, I opted to adopt the stance Franny and Zooey applied in their story. Franny and Zooey's story focuses on spiritual and personal exploration. Franny Glass struggles with academic pretension, religion, her boyfriend, her concerned parents, and her tough-love brother. Zooey Glass addresses his own issues in work and family relationships. Through conversation and argument, the two siblings explore their shared concerns and take careful stock of their character. Both are fundamentally changed in the course of the novel, as a result of this exploration. I also utilized the means of conversing with other people to explore my concerns with them, which was an important tool towards self discovery and appreciation. Franny and Zooey are siblings who are dissatisfied with the world around them. Franny's dissatisfaction is focused around her college, while Zooey's is centered on his acting. Their frustrations are different, but their judgment of the world around them comes from their education. Well-read in philosophy and religion, the Glass children find the world around them to be petty, materialistic, and small. They cannot be satisfied with the world in which they live because they hold themselves and others to impossibly higher standards of intelligence, knowledge, and wisdom. I found this a bit hard because of a few restraints such as language barriers, in which I had a difficult time with. I regard myself as able to do better like other people. I cannot continue being dissatisfied while on my quest for self discovery (Salinger, 1961). I may have been dissatisfied with the life I was living, considering the fact that I had cancer and my arm was about to be amputated. But through my education at the University of Bridgeport, along with the moral support provided for me, I needed to hold myself as one among the rest. I must stand tall to attain the basic goals of my education in the University that helps me recover with my health status. Had I stayed in Ecuador, I would have lived a desolate life since I would be continue to perceive myself as a health wreck. I would mull over delirious thoughts that I am not capable of doing anything to attain a happy life. My attendance of Bridgeport University as an interior designer and the fact that I am the first in my family to finish college proves a big step in my journey. The University Health Services is geared towards the wellness of every student. It offers health education, preventive health screenings, health promotion programs and immunizations. Students’ individual needs are attended to in a confidential and caring manner. All information and records pertaining to any aspect of a student’s health are strictly confidential, which in turn creates a conducive climate for me to continue my health attendance in school, and to the total exclusion of anybody else which may lead for me to be looked down upon. Through the guidance received in the university I was able to appreciate myself and my condition. Through this, I am proud to say that “Cancer did not just change my life; it changed me as a person". All the physical and emotional transitions helped me achieve victory over cancer and led me to many changes in my life. It gave me the opportunity to come to this country, face a new life-style, realize the importance of my family and gave me the chance to keep my arm with an operation. This means that staying in a condition did not only change my life but also my perception towards life as a whole, and any other feelings I would have had at first about the illness. The enlightenment it brought me helped me defeat cancer, and I am glad that I did not have to live with the stigma attached to it. I found peace, strength, and acceptance. In a society which does not follow the tradition or does not appreciate it, I would have seen myself as an outcast. In the University of Bridge port, they recognized the values and beliefs of every student. When I was told that had has to wait for 10 years to see if my hand would be amputated, agony came over me, because I knew then that the cancer would come back and it would manifest on a different part of my body. In an international university like Bridgeport, coping with language is not hard since what is required is that one has to communicate her views. Since the environment created by the university is one of love, dialogue mechanisms have been put in place to ensure that any issue affecting a student is brought into the light and shared to her satisfaction and thus I found no problem adapting to this. My languages also involve two international languages of English and Spanish which enabled me to at least communicate effectively and with fewer barriers to people speaking these languages; although I have to admit that I still have some few barriers up to now which proved to be a minor obstacle. Furthermore the school is in a locality speaking English hence that was not a major issue. In the story Pretty Mouth and Green Eyes, a man named Arthur calls a man named Lee at a late hour about his missing wife, Joanie. Joanie, Arthur, and Lee were at the same party earlier that night. Arthur and Lee both work at the same law firm and are close friends. Lee has a woman over; whom might actually be Joanie. Lee tries to calm Arthur down about Joanie being missing, offering that she might have gone off with mutual acquaintances. Lee listens as Arthur complains about Joanie being a wild woman, often kissing kitchen workers when they go out. Arthur speaks hysterically; he is upset, angry, and insecure. However, he also reminisces briefly about happy memories he has of Joanie. Lee eventually convinces Arthur that he's torturing himself by worrying and that he ought to get some rest. Lee reassures Arthur that Joanie will eventually return. I learned from the story that to be able to discover myself what I needed most was not to worry of things which will least help me but focus on those which will assist me develop. This was a positive step in my life and at the end I was not only able to help myself but also members of my family. Bridgeport University accepts students of varied cultural backgrounds. Learning in the university takes place in and out of the classroom. I was not forced to compromise my culture, but instead, I study the culture around me. It leaves me with an option to either take it up or not. When I reached United States, I was afraid because I was hairless, extremely skinny and weak. I was asking myself how the American society was going to accept me. I was rejected the moment that all these changes were obvious. I did not pity myself despite of being rejected again by my physical looks, I have regarded such notions that instant I stepped foot in the University, which recognizes people from all the corners of the world. When I was there I was able to find other people who had the same traits as mine and I realized that I was not in the same ship alone. I discovered that I am also a human, despite the predicament I had, I could still learn and appreciate my life. I was able to find warm friends and become nurtured in an accommodating environment from students and staff of the University. They were not discriminative towards anyone, which I highly considered as a major positive step in my journey towards self discovery. I learned to adopt change as fast as I could, even if the situation was heavy to bear. Nevertheless, adopting bring smiles in my heart. At the beginning of the story “Before the War with Eskimos”, Eric starts a conversation with Ginnie. He wears a suit, exaggerates a great deal, and complains about the day he's had. He compliments Ginnie's coat and mentions having seen "The Beauty and the Beast" eight times. As Selena enters the room, Ginnie tells her to forget about the money. Selena is surprised but pleased by this change of events. Ginnie leaves on good terms. Ginnie's fancy for Franklin is the cause of her change of heart. As the story closes, the attention of the reader is drawn to a chicken sandwich Franklin insisted Ginnie take with her to eat. She considers throwing it away but pockets it instead, perhaps because she views it as a gift from Franklin. Though this sudden change to embrace happiness I was to learn to stop complaining of the past and take life from a happy perspective even if things may change at the end. I needed to be happy. Once a person had a condition like mine, and in order for her to come out successfully, she must have hope which is instilled through being optimistic. I had hoped that one day, she will be okay. When a person despairs he will do nothing and his mind will always be thinking of loss. An example is my experience when I have mulled over the instance that my hand will get amputated, I would not have waited for the 10 years prescribed by the doctor. The University of Bridgeport has a medical insurance which obliges every student upon enrollment to become a member. This gives the students hope of future medical remedies. This great concern by the school is one of the factors which encourages many to become members. I am now cancer free for 22 years. Despite the major theme of death in the nine stories which seemed pessimistic, I did the opposite and for me it became life. In all thee Nine Stories, the stories began and ended with death. Death surfaces often in various guises throughout. Eloise’s true love, Walt, was killed in World War II, in “Uncle Wiggily in Connecticut. The Laughing Man dies, as do his adversaries and his best friend, Black Wing. Esme’s father has died, as has the narrator’s mother in “De Daumier-Smith’s Blue Period. Death creeps around the edges of the stories, rarely taking central stage but appearing frequently enough that it casts a pall over the proceedings. As in Teddy’s references to cicadas and Seymour’s story of the banana fish, Salinger seems to be commenting on the fragility of all life. I see life not as fragile anymore and I feel full of life every day. The last words of the novel Cather In The Rye are, "Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody." I was selective towards the persons I shared my problems with in my new community. I did not take my story out to everybody unless they have given me attention towards my coming to self discovery. Conclusion My attendance at the University of Bridgeport completely changed my life, especially during the process of undergoing self discovery. I learned that I needed to stay positive and appreciative myself. This was made possible by the enabling environment of the university, which helped me developed my self confidence as I was able to continue and overcome my life struggles. I was an immigrant and I thought I won’t be able to attend college because of my nationality status. When I graduated from high school, all my friends were excited to go to college, but when I went to the counseling to see what I was going to do, I was told that “I was not able to do anything". Upon hearing the unfortunate news, I spent an entire semester in bed depressed, until I decided to go to college. I applied in Housatonic Community College and I had to lie about my immigration status. I had to work to pay for school, in which I was employed with two to three jobs in order to pay for my school fees. I thought I could do the same at Bridgeport in 2003 but I was not successful. I did not pursue studying and got a full time job, bought a hose and forgot about school. My status had been in 2005, but I lost my job in 2008. By then I realized that I had to do something, thus I went back to school. Different parts of a person respond more to the emotional energy of the person to whom we can relate to, rather than to the words that are being spoken. Seeing that we respond and often react to emotional energy, as well as to what is being said, brings light to the many times we felt perplexed regarding our purpose with someone, and wondered why we were feeling what we were feeling. People have the ability to project their emotional energy in a way that can affect other individuals without the need to speak. Normally, how a person is feeling emotionally is communicated to others, whether we are aware of it or not. The reason why I have a clear understanding of this fact is because I became choosy of the people I share my views with. My condition was not a hindrance during my stay in the university, the environment of the school recognizes the uniqueness of different students and this will serve as a stepping stone towards my discovery. At the end, I am very grateful to my parents who found other means for me to survive cancer so that my arm need not be amputated, which enabled me to find myself in this country and at Bridgeport University, where the changes in my life occurred. Although at first, I felt rejected and I missed my parents a lot. I started to get used to it and aimed to change for better. I learned the virtue of hope. All these changes helped me achieve my victory over cancer and overcome language barrier to complete my academic success. Throughout the nine stories, the writer encourages dialogue and thus I embrace dialogue whenever there is a problem. It is through these dialogues that solutions to my problems will be solved. The University of Bridgeport encourages dialogue through the many forums which it holds, to help students. I had to keep up with my tradition of praying and serving the church while ignoring the materialistic tradition of my present locality. That is the reason why I believe that I have to be in a place which would appreciate my culture, like Bridgeport University At the University of Bridgeport, the community embraces and celebrates the uniqueness of every student without discrimination on any ground. It is a diverse international campus where students will be prepared and developed to become engaged and responsible leaders. Works Cited Powers, Richards “Plowing the dark” London: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2000 Salinger J.D Little “Cather in the rye” New York: Brown and Company 1951 Salinger J.D, “Franny and Zooy” New York: Little, Brown 1961 Salinger J.D. “The Nine Stories” New York: Little Brown 1953 Bloom Harold “The Catcher in the Rye” London: Infobase Publishing 2007. Note: I will like to have some source of structure: my childhood, Broken family at 6, later my sickness, changes, coming to live with my father and sister, struggle, language difficulties, religion, Ten year period, being accepted, going to high school, trying acting like a grown up, second operation, depression stage when I got out of high school do to my legal status, laying to go to college ( when I apply to my first college I had to lie and check the us citizen status instead of resident in the forms, just like de Daumier-Snith’s Blue period, I did not apply for financial aid and also that’s what I did for my Jobs( like the census 2000 or campaign for the Governor Election in Bridgeport) . I did have a valid social it was given to me when I came, but I was not legal. Then come’s UB and all the good stuff… I feel like UB is everywhere and in some places there is no sense. I rather put it at the end. The paper is about self-discovery since I came to this country, the teacher change it a little bit for International students, that is me. Also THE PAPER HAS TO BE MIM 15 PAGES WRITEN PAGES THE WORD SITED IS NOT PART OF THE 15! I DO NOT NEED the word sited CAUSE IS KNOWN THAT THOSE ARE THE BOOKS THAT the entire student is using in this class. Pease double check the first person situation but manage not ii use so much “I”. There is some grammatical, space, and other mistake, like repetition of the same stuff please fix them! Pease email me when all the corrections are done. I need it ASAP! Thank you! Ps. If you need more INF please e-mail me and ask me! Read More