Happy Family Life in Anna Karenina - Essay Example

Anna Karenina, a masterpiece by Leo Tolstoy’s, has lines which claimed that all happy families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Many claim that there is a set of behavior for each family member that makes a family happy. Others would claim that there are no particular rules to follow in living a happy family life and one would have to just go about in their own lives figuring out what really makes their own family a happy one. I myself believe in Tolstoy and I also believe that there is a set of guidelines in living a happy family life. One simple rule that I have observed to be most effective is when families eat dinner together. I remember several outdated TV commercials that portray a happy family on the dinner table while eating. The father would often come home from work tired and weary while the mother would burst out of the kitchen door and upon seeing of her husband, would gaily call “Kids, your father’s here!” The scene cuts then to the mother serving the dish she prepared for her family, to which her husband and children give a beaming look to each other before deciding to dig in and eat. The cut scene is particularly critical and it can be interpreted as the time to cook dinner for the mother is but just a few moments because she loves what she is doing. It is the smile that she sees in her husband and children’s faces that make it all worthwhile and thus the emphasis of the commercial is on the eager faces of the people she loves who are bound to get fed. Commercials like these are still successful in getting their point across millions of families word-wide and they are as attractive today as they were four decades ago. I recently went out with a girl friend to the mall and when it was about past eleven, she was already seeming impatient and anxious, always checking her watch and her mobile. I never knew her to be a stickler for time but about a quarter before twelve, she promptly asked if we could go home already as she is concerned that her family might get worried about her. I of course conceded to her wish and she verbally thanked me and gave me a hug. Later on she would reveal to me the reason why she acted the way she did. She recalled that every evening at about eight o’clock, her parents would let her and her sister sit in the dining room and eat dinner. While eating, her parents would casually ask her and her sister how was school or how was their day in general. Their conversation would end up on different subjects that merits attention and by nine o’clock, they would all be finished eating. She was also frank in further explaining that when she was younger, during weekends after having dinner, she and her sister would go watch a movie with her mother and father in their parents’ bedroom until they fell asleep with their stomachs full from the food they ate. Until today, she considers dinner time with the family as a standard that all families should uphold and keep for succeeding generations. “Why specifically dinner time in the night?” one might ask. Well let us imagine John for example. John is an only child who was never had a single dinner with his parents and instead eats in front of the computer, his right hand on the mouse while his left grabs a pizza and stuffs it in his mouth. Both of his parents are busy with work in the office and goes to office early in the morning. John barely sees them in the morning because he has to go to school as well. He goes through grade school and high school without having dinner with his parents and he soon feels that his parents never cared about him. He goes through dinner practically the same way everyday, eating ordered pizza while keeping himself busy playing with the computer. At some point, his grades fall because of his lifestyle and his parents would start telling him to study more. Now that John has his grades at stake, his parents start nagging him every night to finish his homework, stop being lazy and to be responsible. Since John was never used to having his parents in the first place, he disregards his parents’ advice. Because John never listens to his parents anyway, his parents after some time get tired of persuading him to study. Eventually, as a measure to make John listen and follow, they take away his computer. This however does not solve the problem and instead John rebels against his parents by going out with a mischievous group of friends. His friends turn out to be more than what they seem outside and every night he would go out with his friends drinks a couple of beers and do something illegal. During these beer sessions, John felt at home because he can freely talk to his friends about his feelings, his thoughts and his experiences. Grabbing a few slices of pizza, they talk about anything under the sun and they freely listen to each other and do whatever they want to do without the being told what to do. In this group, John feels like everyone can relate to him- they know what he feels and why he does the things he does. Soon enough, John decides to never comes back home. The rift between parent and son widens as their relationship blurs with every night that comes and goes. Finally, to prove the importance of having dinner as a family, take one of my aunts as a case in point. My aunt who lives with her husband and three children somewhere in California consciously chooses every night to prepare a hearty dish for her family. She puts extra effort in preparing delicious meals and sometimes in cooking their favorite food for no occasion at all. Her husband has a topnotch job in the manufacturing industry while her eldest daughter, is now off to college in the state of Wyoming. Her younger daughter and youngest son are still in secondary schooling. Before she prepared dinner, she would pick up her daughter and son at school and bring them home. Every now and then, she would ask her son and daughter to help out in cooking dinner if they aren’t busy with anything related to school. This then becomes a bonding time with her children as they plan together what’s for dinner and at times, she even lets her kids take reign over the recipes that they are to prepare. She would sometimes give her husband a call at work just to tell him what’s cooking for dinner just so her husband has something to look forward in coming home early. Without fail, her husband would arrive early and at that moment, she would start calling her children to the dinner table to eat while she places the newly cooked food on the dinner table. When all is set and everyone is seated, they start off with a prayer and continue on sharing a few stories of how their day, a funny thing that happened in school or at work, or every so often, problems that bothers them. It is on the dinner table that one can really see the support that each family member gives to each other, emotionally and affectionately. At the end of the meal, the children, without their parents telling them to, would clean up the dinner table and take care of the dishes whereas my aunt and her husband would take out a bottle of wine, drink a few glasses and talk to their heart’s content until they fell asleep. Their eldest daughter who lives in another state still comes back home for occasions such as Thanksgiving and Christmas because she genuinely enjoys the tenderness of family conversations on the dinner table. My aunt’s middle daughter, who seems to be the quietest, would show her affection not through words but by giving simple gifts to her parents for no occasion at all. Her youngest son, who is the sweetest among his siblings would still talk about the delicious food he had last night and randomly hug his parents the next morning. Whether it is for the great food and the wonderful conversations, or the simple experience of being with your family, spending time and dinner with one’s family contributes a lot to the lasting relationships that constitute the basic unit of our society. In retrospect, lifelong relationships are built on good food, better conversations and the best common experiences. All in all, these are the things that make a person truly happy. Read More