The Rebirth of a Fallen Man - Essay Example

The Rebirth of a Fallen Man What can a fallen man do in the world? Will a drug addict compromise with the difficult and rotten world? Or will he struggle to change himself and get a chance to be “reborn”? In the book Jesus’s Son, Denis Johnson sets up eleven short stories to tell readers about the changes of such a fallen man. The narrator is a serious drug addict who has neither sympathy nor he has positive thoughts concerning his life. After experiencing helping people who need emergency health care, finding a job in Beverly Home, and seeking intimacy with others and himself, the narrator changes from a dead-alive person who often takes drugs to a healthy person who enjoys a common lifestyle. The narrator undergoes externally and internally significant changes because he drugs, cares about other people, and desires to live a common lifestyle in the end of the collection (Johnson, “Jesus’ Son: Stories”). The narrator experiences positive external and physical changes as he recuperates from drug addiction. Because of drugs and alcohol, the health condition of the narrator becomes worse and worse. Before the car crash happens, the narrator cannot even stand up because a college man gives him drugs. He loses his consciousness and passes out in the grass off the exit ramp (5). His exhausted and weak body compels him to feel the world negatively, owing to his emotional behavior. Once, he said, “I hadn’t been anywhere near it in over a year, but I was just getting sicker. When I coughed I saw fireflies”. The aforementioned statement can be attributed with the context that the over the years, the narrator had been growing sicker, resulting in the development of chronic cough (82). Drug overdose during talking medications places him in a severe condition, and he is almost dead (88). However, things are changing. The narrator wakes up in the Georgie’s pickup after the completion of a heavy snow and says, “A mist covered everything and, with the sunshine, was beginning to grow sharp and strange” (69). That is a moment when the narrator is sober and awake, and he is not affected by drugs or alcohol at that moment. The aforementioned statement can be justified based on his inner feelings, since he wakes up from his sleep and is free from drowsiness created due to medications, which further enables development of positive feelings in him. The emotional changes can be considered as a progress directed towards distancing away from drugs. He can feel the beauty of that morning and the beauty of the world (69). Beginning to treat the world positively, he doesn’t see the world from an indecent angle anymore. His sober consciousness is an emotional change that further results in the development of physical wellbeing. After rehabilitation, the condition of the narrator becomes better. In the hospital, the narrator says, “I felt like I’d turned from a light, Styrofoam thing into a person. I held up my hands before my eyes. The hands were as still as a sculpture’s” (107). With a good physical shape and a nice look, the narrator is further able to reduce the negative thoughts and move towards a better lifestyle (133). This physical change plays a basic and vital role in the process of his change. The healthy condition of a person is presented externally in most situations. If the narrator looks healthy, people will not consider him as a drug addict any longer because there is a substantial difference in his appearance. As a result, the physical change of the narrator establishes the base for bringing transformation (Johnson, “Jesus’ Son: Stories”). Besides the physical change of the narrator, something also changes in his heart and soul simultaneously. Sometimes, while caring more about others, the narrator changes from a selfish man to a person who sympathizes with others and cares about people around him. At the beginning of Jesus Son stories, the narrator is selfish and doesn’t care life of anybody. When he is given a ride by a family, he senses everything before things happen. He knows a certain Oldsmobile will stop for him even before it slows down, and by the sweet voices of the family inside it he knows they will have an accident in the storm, but he doesn’t care (3). Even if he has a hunch that the family who gives him a ride may die soon, he does not do anything to save their lives. Even after the accident happens, the narrator is not remorseful or sympathetic about that. His moral flaw illustrates the fact that he is not only a drug addict but also a selfish person. He even says, “And you, you ridiculous people, you expect me to help you” (10). He cannot care less about the accident since he has nothing to regret. In face of the death of another person in “Dundun,” the narrator has a subtle change in attitudes. After his “friend” Mclnnes dies in his car because he was shot, he plans to throw Mclnnes out of his car. On the surface, the narrator is even glad about the death of Mclnnes. However, something does change a little because Mclnnes dies on the way to the hospital. It is the narrator who drives him for emergency treatment. Even if it ends with the death of Mclnnes, the narrator tries to help his friend in the story; however, he does it in the hope that people will like him and not because he cares for Mclnnes. Changes are continuous, and finally he begins to sympathize with and take care of people in Beverly Home, a sanatorium, where he gets a job. To touch people is his job. He greets everybody and grasps their hands or squeezes their shoulders in Beverly Home (117). Those people get a sense that there is someone in the world who cares about them. With sympathy, he accepts the job and builds intimacy between people by touching them. With concern, he undergoes a dramatic change about the way in which he cares about others. The difference confirms his spiritual changes that happen in his heart (Johnson, “Jesus’ Son: Stories”). Corresponding to the spiritual changes of the narrator, he also changes from a dead-alive person who acts without thinking to an independent-minded person who seeks to live a common lifestyle. The narrator didn’t have an explicit goal for his own life. He indulged in the world of drugs, alcohol, and sex. His actions could not be considered as meaningful behavior. He was breathing, but he was not actually living because he was thinking; however, in an illogical manner. When he climbs up on an elevated train, he doesn’t know what his destination is. The narrator says, “I didn’t know what to do now except ride around on the elevated train (78).” He doesn’t know where place he is heading. One of the most sorrowful stories for a human being can be when he loses his goal and doesn’t have a destination. The narrator was unable to develop easiness when he takes the elevated train around and around. During his trip on the elevated train, he tries to set up his goal and wants to think independently. This reflects the development of a positive emotional and physical character in the narrator, and his broadening mindset to overcome his past problems. Living in a society with people having poor mindset, the narrator lives as a dead-alive person without positive thoughts. He thinks that he may continue to act without thinking, but he eventually finds the true meaning of his life by watching the usual lifestyle of a Mennonite couple. The narrator says, “I got so I enjoyed seeing them sitting in their living room talking, almost not talking at all, reading the Bible, saying grace, eating their supper in the kitchen alcove, as much as I liked watching her naked in the shower” (127). The couple’s life is the usual life the narrator is seeking for. Watching the couple’s daily life, the narrator learns that the usual life can be simple. They read the bible and pray before dinner; and afterwards, the husband washes his wife’s feet after fighting to make an apology, which cannot be considered as a usual behavior, considering the fact that in American society, most people do not wash each-other’s feet to apologize. All of these actions are parts of the usual life. The narrator begins to enjoy usual life and get rid of drugs that he used to enjoy. The narrator gradually has his own thoughts, seeking and enjoying usual life. He desires to live as a common person (Johnson, “Jesus’ Son: Stories”). Read More