Ending the Virtue Conflict - Essay Example

My Virtue Conflict I have always had the predisposition to believe in the overall goodness of man, my parents had brought me up to always cherish some of the simple human virtues of truth and honesty. As a child, I never fathomed that it was possible for individuals to live in contrast to these virtues. This caused me to become a very trusting individual who never questioned the virtues of others and always believed that everyone was out to essentially make the world a much better place. When I started school most of the kids in my class had the same outlook on life as we were still young and very much shrouded by the innocence of our youth. However, all this stated to slowly change as we entered middle school and then went on to proceed through junior school and eventually into high school. Although I considered myself to be socially outgoing, I had never perceived myself to be the most popular kid in school. I had a number of friends but these friends were largely classified as nerds. When we hanged out together, we were able to find comfort and solace in our belief that although we were not quite as popular as some of the other kids, we were nevertheless definitely much more smarter than them. Elementary and middle school can be a tough learning ground for most kids and unfortunately, this held true for my case as I somehow managed to attract the unwanted attentions of Johnny, a kid that I still consider as having been one of the most infamous school bullies of our time. It was hard for me to reconcile the virtue ethics that had been methodically drilled into me by my parents and what I saw as Johnny’s seriously twisted virtues. I found myself unable to grasp and understand the possibility of a person going through life while being mean to others. At times after I had had particularly nasty run-ins with Johnny at school, I cry and blame myself for all the bullying I was receiving. I believed that if I was just a little bit taller, more good looking and just a tad more popular, Johnny would respect me and would not pick on me constantly. Gradually, I started changing and dropped some of the virtue ethics that had been instilled in me since I was young. In my immature and childlike reasoning, I supposed that if I dressed differently, behaved a little more tough and started picking on kids smaller than myself, I would earn the respect that I believed was due to me. My perspective on the twin virtues of honesty and truth started to change as I started believing that in the real world, these virtues were actually working against me. The change I underwent did yield some resultant changes in my life, however, the changes that I underwent were not the ones that I had expected. Although the frequency of the bullying incidents reduced, Johnny continued picking on me despite my adopting of what I perceived to be a tougher and more rowdy appearance, my popularity did not increase but on the contrary, it actually diminished as people started steering away from me due to my constant and unprovoked picking on others. My good friends who essentially comprised of the school nerd club were amused by this change at first. This however changed as they grew tired of it and I noticed that my relationship with them started growing chilly with time. I started losing some of the close friends that I already had and both my parents and teachers got concerned about the sudden change. One day, as I was busy picking on a random snotty nosed kid, a friend intervened with the aim of rescuing the kid and asked me to stop as it had already gone too far. I noticed quite a number of glances that appeared to be wondering what I would do next and to save face, I started picking on my friend as well and knocked down his books. The look of utter disbelief and blatant shock that crossed his face at my actions will forever be seared into my mind. To me, it seemed that my body was acting on its own volition without any input from me. My friend simply just picked up his books and proceeded to walk away without saying a word to me. This little incident caused me to really reconsider and think about the person that I was turning out to be. As I walked home that day, I pondered on the question of where this whole act was taking me, my change in perspective on the value of virtue as well as the cultural elements that had perpetrated the change. I was deeply conflicted by what I felt to be two opposing forces within me, while one was calling for a return to my observation of some basic virtues and ethics, the other was in stark contrast to this and was pulling me in the opposite direction. I got home and reflected on all the bad things that I had done during that semester and although I looked tough on the outside, I was still basically quite soft hearted and loathed the person I was starting to become. After a lot of deep introspection, I decided to immediately turnover a new leaf and become the person that my parents had carefully brought me up to be. Although it took some time for me to go round and apologize to everyone that I had wronged, I eventually managed to do so and most of the kids were quite forgiving. My relationship with my friends was restored and they were happy to have me back into our little group of friends. The joy and happiness that I experienced after embracing the change and once and for all ending the conflict that had been raging within me made me realize what I had all along been missing. The conflict and subsequent changes that I experienced caused me to become a much better. I resolved that no matter the circumstances, I would always uphold my prized twin virtues of honesty and truth. Over the years, these two have served me well and have largely contributed towards shaping me into the persons I have grown up to become. I am grateful that I got to learn the value of these virtues at an early age although I did have to learn this the hard way. Read More