Collage: Bits and Pieces - Essay Example

Full Bits and Pieces We are made of bits and pieces. Physically, we are made of various kinds of bits of cells. As a whole, we are not only physical but we are also composed of pieces of mental, psychological and spiritual aspects. Personally, I believe that I am the past, the present and the future. With this kind of perception, I see myself, my life as if it was a collage. This is my collage story. *** As a shy person, I always find it difficult to be in a new environment. During my first week in school, I wanted to simply melt away because it had been a tiring week as I got lost most of the time. Then I thought that since I really cannot run away from my circumstances, I might as well face everything. I braved myself and approached strangers for directions whenever I needed to go to a new place. It felt so good to finally overcome my fears and simply be like everybody else. I felt then that I really belonged to my new environment. Life became more bearable as I learned to deal with other people. I gained new acquaintances who have been very helpful to me as I adjusted to the American lifestyle. *** I noticed that there are a lot of foreign students in school. Instead of befriending them, I shied away because I thought that they might have their own friends. Moreover, they might not really be interested in me. Unexpectedly, an American stranger spoke to me, talking about everyday things such as difficulties, struggles accompanied by many good things as well that might simply happen to anybody. She somehow influenced me to change my perspective about new environments. I will be forever grateful to that young woman. We may have talked for just a few minutes but her gesture of taking the first move to really make me feel comfortable was just reassuring. Now, I have befriended some students because of that incident. I did not feel out of place anymore but I have discovered that people are actually accommodating here. *** Things have been going quite well in school. I gained a few friends and I find the classes interesting. However, I always fear examinations because they will show how I am performing in class. It is not that I am afraid of the results. What I am more afraid of is how my mother would react to my grades if I fail. You see, Chinese mothers have always been known to demand high performances from their children especially if they are successful in their own fields. Chinese parents always regard the success of their children as a reflection of their own accomplishments so they work hard to make their kids work even harder. In my case, my mother often insists that I can do anything I put my mind into because she is a living testimony of her demands. I cannot disagree because my mother is pretty good in her job. Anyway, I guess no Chinese child could really argue and disagree with the opinions of a parent who simply wants the best for her children. *** Once, I failed my exams in high school. Of course I was afraid because my parents always expected me to perform well in school. Nevertheless, I never expected my mother to be quite infuriated with my exams. The rage was devastating so I never wanted it to happen again. This is perhaps the very reason why I came to fear examinations although I always try my best to have high grades. Thankfully, my psychology professor, Dr. Green, pointed out that tests are parts of college life so I have to overcome my fear. He tried to be very understanding of my dilemma and he encouraged me to do what I fear most. He has been very helpful indeed. The professor even advised me to speak with my mother about my fear and how I am performing in school. He said that communication will change a lot of things; that once I speak my thoughts and feelings, my mother will reach out and will understand what I am going through. I am sitting in front of Dr. Gree thinking how clueless he is about my mother. How could he tell me to speak with the woman who would be angry even at the hint that I have problems with my grades? But of course, these might just simply be my opinion of my mother. Maybe, the professor knows more about mothers than I do because he probably dealt with a lot of student problems like mine. So, how am I going to speak with my mother? Would she be considerate enough to let me finish what I want to tell her? Will she be incensed again and say I have not tried well enough? I guess the professor has a point. I will have to decide to communicate my feelings with my mother and if she gets angry, I could probably give myself a pat on the back for trying. *** The building is huge, clean and beautiful. There are many people, busy individuals who are all working on their tables. They flash their bright and welcoming smiles as I pass by with my mother who is holding my hands. The men and women working in the building are all well-dressed like my mother. They all seem to be happy and satisfied with their jobs. As a child, I thought that when I grow up, I want to be just like my mother. She is an actuary. She informed me that to have a job like hers, I must study well and work hard on my mathematical skills. I thought that if that is what it takes to be an actuary, then I could become a good one because Math is my strong point. However, my mother added that I should go to college, get a degree and excel in all my classes. I knew then that it was not an easy task but I have set my mind on being an actuary since then. *** Artists have always fascinated me. I think they are simply intelligent people because they can make beautiful things. For me, being able to create something wonderful that is appreciated by people around the world through many generations is simply awesome. The likes of Michelangelo, Donatello and da Vinci always inspired me to do something that will last many years. However, I heard that not many artists are able to really make big money from their talents. After talking with Dr. Green who has been helping me with my problems regarding assessments and my confusion of what major I will take, things were clarified and I was encouraged to major in applied Mathematics and statistics in preparation for my long-time dream of becoming an actuary. *** I stand in the midst of strangers, feeling small and lost. Still, with the support my parents have always rendered to me, I know that I am bound to succeed in my career and in life. Once again, I am filled with that fear and shrinking feeling. Nevertheless, I am strengthened with the thought of my professors and friends who have been patient in encouraging me during my times of doubts and despair. Not everyone gets such kinds of support and I have been so blessed to have been surrounded with wonderful people. Therefore, I am now resolved that I can do the tasks set before me. Perhaps you have seen how my life is made up of bits and pieces of my past present and future. Read More