Peer review (together) - Assignment Example

Revision Worksheet From the beginning of the essay, the reader does not clearly grasp the purpose of essay; however, the purpose is disclosed as the essay comes down to its end.2. In this essay, the writer has not plainly stated the thesis and has not even implied the thesis in a clear sense but the reader understands the thesis after the end of this essay through the association of title to the ending.3. The narrative does not contain any illustration of its intended point for which the writer could have stated an appropriate thesis in the beginning of his essay to illustrate his intention. 4. The narrative demonstrates to maintain a significantly logical point of view but it fails to maintain the order of action in an appropriate flow which directs the reader to a confused state of mind.

The order of this essay flows in an inconsistent manner with sudden leaps from the private life of the narrator and life at Fort Polk. Due to this inconsistency, the reader feels unclear about the intention of writer on many occasions in the story. 5. All of the characters and settings which are presented in the story are believable and lucid in contrast with actions which are not so clear in the beginning of the essay. However, the action in climax of the story is well briefed to the reader.6. The story contains some of irrelevant details which make it wander in places.

The details of narrator’s job in Fort Polk do not seem relevant to the intended purpose of this essay. The part of these details could have been replaced with narrator’s personal life which the story is mainly concerned. 7. The ending of this essay contains a worthy lesson of togetherness in a good manner which is appreciable.