CRITQUE MY PEERS - Essay Example

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“The fast paced nature of life in the modern world compels parents to entrust their children to daycare centers, which is not a healthy practice because such facilities do not care for children as much as the family can and it is also highly expensive besides the risk of their…
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Download file to see previous pages Similarly the essay refers to the possibility of the employees in daycare centers having criminal history, which the author backs up with suitable examples. This argument is also a valid one in terms of what one can observe in the society.
The narration of the medical concerns and the mention of the amount the author had spent in treating a child sound a little weak. Medical problems do not seem to be the rampant issue in day care centers. If the author feels so, this contention should have been supported through research evidence.
My suggestion would be to include some of the advantages of daycare centers such as they can come as a solace when both parents need to work at the same time. To refute this, I would argue that this does not qualify a daycare center to win the trust of parents. I would also include some suggestions relating to such facilities being more professional and the government or community involving more in the operation of such organizations to ensure that the consumer receives proper services.
Does the author use signal phrases to introduce quotes? (Signal phrases are discussed in more detail in section 10g of The New Century Handbook. ) If so, provide an example. If not, suggest the correct way to do this.
All quotations that the writer has used are stand alone, without integrating them into the writing. The author also has not used signal phrases appropriately. I personally believe that rather than using stand alone quotations, the writer can integrate the quotes into the writing so that the prose will have better coherence and flow.
The writer has not used proper in-text citations in the paper at this stage. However, it appears that because this is a draft. The citations, as they are now, do not follow the standard requirements for acknowledging the sources. I presume the writer will address this issue before submitting the final paper.
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