Romance Today: On the Question of Same Sex Marriage - Research Paper Example

Full Submitted Romance Today: On the Question of Same Sex Marriage I. Introduction The increasing complexities of modern life have caused higher demands on modern families, significantly altering traditional family dynamics and relationships and establishing concepts of modern marriage. For example, apparent today are wives who before were simple housewives but are now compelled to work just like their husbands to augment family income in order to cope with the increasing demands of a consumerist society. At the same time, the continuous search of modern society to satisfy human needs has brought forward compelling ideas, challenging long-held norms, traditions and beliefs regarding acceptable social relationships, specifically marriage – the society’s basic social institution. Given these socio-economic developments, debate on the sustainability of the traditional concepts of marriage reverberates from various sectors of the American society, calling for the need to evaluate the traditional concepts of marriage in the light of modern life. How must the modern conception of marriage be changed to make it sustainable within a modern society and culture? Does this new concept of marriage accommodate the concept of same-sex marriage? – These are the questions; this paper aims to shed light on.   II. Traditional Concepts of Marriage Traditional concepts of marriage are ingrained in the very definition accorded to the term. First, marriage is a legally contracted bond between a man and a woman (Lahey and Anderson 39; Lewis 172; Garrett 446; Dnes 85; Girgis, George and Anderson 245). Second, marriage is meant not simply to satisfy personal interest but more to promote public interest and social purposes; vital of which is responsible procreation to ensure social survival (Wardle 771; Garrett 591; Lahey and Anderson 39). Thus “marriage is a compound right: the right to marry and to found a family” (Somerville 179). Third, marriage is a union of a husband and a wife as “equal-but-different partners” (Lewis 172) in which the father/husband is breadwinner and the mother is tasked with home and child care (Hetherington 318). All these definitions constitute the traditional understanding of marriage. Although, each could be evaluated separately, there sum-total is what makes the traditional concept of marriage sustaining. So for better understanding, these traditional concepts of marriage shall be evaluated in its totality, especially so that same-sex marriage is advocated relentlessly to be legalized (Dnes 85). Looking at modern life today, except for the unequal social roles attached to husbands and wives, that have been dulled by the practical need for both parents to help each other in providing for the sustenance of their family, the traditional concepts of marriage remain valid and sustainable, because its purpose as a basic social institution remains relevant and widely accepted. Until today, the stabilizing role of the family remains crucial to enjoy a stable society. In fact, the Virginia Longitudinal Study of Divorce and Remarriage showed that compared with other modern typologies of marriage, traditional marriage remains highly effective in creating stable family relationships (Hetherington 318). How traditional marriage can be sustained in modern society, especially so that various modern social practices, such as divorce, live-in and same-sex marriage are challenging its relevance. Traditional marriage can be sustained by strengthening the institution of marriage emphasizing its crucial role in creating stable families and consequently the society, in ensuring the survival of humanity through generations, and in protecting the fault-free party in cases of divorce. As Dnes observed traditional marriages “have been especially subject to opportunism since the introduction of no-fault divorce, which does not tie alimony and property division to fault” (85). In short, the sustainability of traditional marriage lies in its III. Modern Concepts of Marriage and Same-Sex Marriage Various concepts of modern marriage can be identified from the reviewed literatures such as marriage for convenience, cohesive/individuated marriage (Hetherington 318), common-law marriage, same-sex cohabitation and same-sex marriages (Dnes 85). Marriage for convenience, as the term implies, is a marriage for economic or social security. One common form of this in the U.S. is the arranged marriage (at varying price) between an American citizen and a non-American citizen living outside America for the latter to gain entry to the American soil and later gain citizenship. Cohesive/individuated marriage is described by (Hetherington) “as a ’yuppie’ marriage, characterized by warmth, respect, equity, mutual support, autonomy, and relatively low instability-a feminist ideal” (318). Common-law marriage is usually established through long cohabitation whereby the public presumed the couples have been married and accepted them as such. Once common-law couple separated, their settlement question is left to the discretion of the family court. On the other hand same-sex cohabitation is a situation where intimate partners of similar sexes are living together as married couples. Its difference from same-sex marriage is that the former is not legally sanctioned, while the latter is an extended traditional marriage (Dnes 85). . Except for cohesive/individuated marriage and common-law marriage, which deviations from traditional marriage do not negate neither water down the essential character of marriage – creation of family, parenthood, and survival of human society – the rests run in contrary to traditional marriage However, these are undeniably a reality of modern society that perhaps stem from economic and social insecurity. Thus it would be unwise to simply disband or judge these modern marriage concepts as immoral or illicit, because just like traditional marriage, these seek stability. To make our modern conception of marriage sustainable within a modern society and culture, modern concepts of marriage must be evaluated if they fulfill the essence of marriage – Marriage is a basic social institution meant to institutionalize the family in order to stabilize human society and to ensure the survival of humanity. As Wardle correctly states: “Families can exist without society, but no society can exist without the family. The same cannot be said of same-sex unions.” (771) Therefore, if the intention of marriage is to simply sanction an intimate relationship between two adults, then there is no compelling reason not to sanction same-sex marriage. But in as much we cannot deny same-sex intimate relationships, it would be whimsical not to recognize the fact that marriage is more than intimate relationships, because it involves procreation – the biological product of the intimate union that would be the future of humanity. Evidently so, marriage is intended only for intimate heterosexual relationships. Whichever way one looks at it, the glaring truth is definite: It is only through the union of man and woman that the ultimate aim of marriage can be realized. For this matter, there is no reason for same-sex marriage. (Somerville 179) However, although same-sex union cannot procreate, the right of homosexuals to enter into secure intimate relationship must not also be denied, because denying them of this would be tantamount to discrimination. On the other hand, for homosexuals to insist for marriage, which as explained above is meant only for opposite sexes, is a denial of who they are. Gays are not women; so they should not also demand things meant only for women. In the same way that lesbians are not men. What this paper tries to convey is: In understanding diversity and in creating the culture of inclusion rather than exclusion, society must always remember to draw the line not between what is acceptable and unacceptable, but rather between what is logical and illogical, reasonable and unreasonable, and reality and illusion, because what defines order from chaos is boundary. This would also put policymakers into an authoritative position in which they cannot be bullied by numbers or strength of protesters. IV. Conclusion Changes in modern society have penetrated even the most sacred social institution of marriage, resulting to rigorous debate and controversy. Various concepts of modern marriage have emerged with same-sex marriage getting much attention from almost all sections of American society (i.e. civil society groups, academe, church, pro-gay and pro-lesbian movements, ordinary peoples). Though the debate seems to have weakened the concept of marriage, the increasing demand from pro-gays and pro-lesbians of same-sex marriage has taken our attention to refine our understanding and definition of marriage. That marriage is not simply a matter of intimate union between adults, but more importantly, it is a purposeful union that recognizes and upholds the natural role of opposite sexes in bringing about a stable society and in realizing the responsible procreative role of man and woman to safeguard the continuation of human society. It is from this sustaining role that makes marriage to be an intimate union exclusively between a man and a woman. It is this sustaining role of marriage that makes it sustainable. Within this context, it would be reasonable to include other modern concepts of marriage to be legitimate such as the common-law marriage, and cohesive/individuated marriage. These unions do not violate natural law; these simply adapt to the demands of the modern society and culture while securing responsible intimate opposite sex relationships. On the other hand, while same-sex marriage cannot be included in the new concept of marriage, same sex cohabitation must be allowed and must also be protected but not under marital laws. For the sake of protecting homosexuals from being sexually exploited or to safeguard their partners from possible abuse, civil laws could be amended to include these concerns. Works Cited Dnes, Antony W. “Marriage, Cohabitation and Same-sex Marriage.” The Independent Review. 2007: 85+. Garrett, Jeremy R. “History, Tradition and the Normative Foundations of Civil Marriage.” The Monist. 2008: 446+. Garrett, Jeremy R. “Why the Old Sexual Morality of the New Natural Law Undermines Traditional Marriage.” Social Theory and Practice. 2008: 591+. Girgis, Sherif, Robert P. George and Ryan T. Anderson. “What Is Marriage?” Harvard Journal of Law & Public Policy. 2011: 245+ Hetherington, E. Mavis. Intimate Pathways: Changing Patterns in Close Personal Relationships across Time. Family Relations. 2003: 318+. Lahey, Kathleen A. and Kevin Alderson. Same-sex Marriage: The Personal and the Political. Ontario, Canada: Insomniac Press, 2004. Lewis, Jane. The End of Marriage?: Individualism and Intimate Relations. UK: Edward Elgar Publishing, 2001. Somerville, Margaret. Childrens Human Rights and Unlinking Child-Parent Biological Bonds with Adoption, Same-Sex Marriage and New Reproductive Technologies. Journal of Family Studies. 2007: 179+. Wardle, Lynn D. "Multiply and Replenish": Considering Same-Sex Marriage in Light of State Interests in Marital Procreation.” Harvard Journal of Law & Public Policy. 2001: 771. Read More