Bros before hoes: the guy code - Essay Example

A man should be a big wheel, this means he should acquire and accumulate as much wealth and power as possible, the corollary is that the respect a man gets from his peers is directly proportional to what he owns or controls. Thirdly, he should be as sturdy as an oak, this implies that he should be dependable in time of crisis and his friends should know they can count on him to put his needs second and come through for them for the sake of the friendship. Finally a man should “give them hell” the implication of this is that a man should be aggressive, he should show no fear and when it comes to problem solving he should take the most risky and aggressive way without any regard to what society thinks or the risk he puts himself under, in fact the more risky an action the higher the accolades (Kimmel, 2008).

From when they are boys, men are taught by the society, especially older males and father figures as well as brothers that they must conform to the dictates of manhood which involve aggressiveness and lack of feminine emotional attributes otherwise they are shunned and emasculated. This results in a culture of masculinity where manhood is measured through ones capacity to endure pain, do risky and sometimes crazy things and neglect their needs for emotional expression unless these emotions are manly such as anger.

The article shows how men conform to these rules both consciously and subconsciously, he talks of men being gender police to each other, as such from when he is a boy the American man will try to show no femininity and maximum masculinity everywhere in case he is “unmasked” by other men. From my personal experience, this is true because basically when children are born, they have no gender, only sex, however from the start men identify their own and begin initiating them at every opportunity.

A father will buy his son a football or a toy car and other manly toys, when a boy child cries, he is likely to be admonished instead of being comforted with “men don’t cry”. As a result he is likely to grow up suppressing his emotions or hiding from other men when he wants to express them. Kimmel correctly cites homophobia as one of the main effects of this overly masculine self-perception, one of the greatest insults you can use on a man is to call him a faggot. The connection to gayness is not necessarily relevant however, it is the aspect of being deprived of your masculinity that hurts the most and as a result men avoid any behavior that may be construed as gay (Gregory, 2011).

Therefore, you will hardly see men cry in public or wear clothes that have traditionally female colors like pink and lavender; this has also rendered men poor interpersonal support providers. When a man is stressed, his friends will not hug him or engage in any meaningful physical interaction that would help in such situations such as holding hands this is because they are afraid to be suspected of being gay. Consequently, men learn how to either project their emotions to other things such as violence in sports or games and even fighting and drinking, many of them just suppress their feelings in fear of being though weak (Kimmel, 2008).

This often results in psychological complications in later life or esteem issues, additionally; these men