The Personality of Both the Parents and Child which Results in Suicide - Essay Example

? Parental Abuse Resulting in Child Suicide: The Personality of Both the Parents and Child which Results in Suicide Teacher              Abstract The paper investigates the psychological cause behind the death of the child who committed suicide. The child seems to have been suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder prior to his death and this may have been brought about by feelings of worthlessness and neglect by his otherwise abusive parents. The investigation also concludes that the parents are also suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder but they were not able to deal with their own issues and hence they may have unconsciously acted harshly upon their child. Nevertheless, as adults, the parents were responsible for their son’s death. Parental Abuse Resulting in Child Suicide: The Personality of Both the Parents and Child which Results in Suicide The case of the child being abused by violent parents is not uncommon. It can happen anytime as long as there are children with suicidal tendencies and parents who are predisposed to behave in a way that they would hurt their children. Based on the details of the case, the child committed suicide because he must have been a typical case of Borderline Personality Disorder and his parents as well, and this must have unconsciously made them cause their own child’s death. Definition of the Case and Important Things to Consider The case study involving the child who killed himself and the parents who abused him must be investigated in such a way that the roles of the child and the parents in bringing about the act of suicide are defined. Moreover, one needs to consider the reasons why the child could have decided to kill himself and why the parents themselves were abusive. Understanding the underlying cause of their actions and decisions would shed more light into why the suicide took place. The Possibility of Borderline Personality Disorder The child who killed himself may have been suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD, because he displayed a similar set of symptoms as a typical case, and it was the parents’ fault that the degree of their abuse towards him made him decide to kill himself. BPD is a psychological problem which is most commonly associated with “self destructive” behavior, which in turn is the most likely cause of the suicide (Paris, 2011). Moreover, someone with BPD is also most likely to be “highly unstable emotionally” and thus develops several mood swings especially as a rather automatic response to highly stressful events (Paris, 2011). These highly unstable emotions and unpredictable mood swings may have reached their peak at the time of suicide and thus may have triggered the act itself. Coupled with a preexisting self destructive behavior, the sudden surge of depressive or angry emotions in the child may have been directed towards himself. Parental abuse may have triggered the depression and anger in the child, but since the child may have felt powerless, he did not choose to retaliate and instead decided to kill himself in order to end the extremely uncomfortable feeling of abuse, loss of personal value and loss of self-esteem. Moreover, since BPD is characterized by “repetitive suicide attempts,” then it is obvious that the child was suffering from this or a similar disorder at the moment of suicide (Paris, 2011). The child may have therefore attempted suicide a number of times but perhaps during that time that he killed himself, there must have been too much anger in him that could not be contained anymore. There could also have been a lot of anger that had piled up and perhaps the last cruel thing his parents did to him somehow served as the last straw that eventually made him decide to end his life. Furthermore, there might not have been anyone else in the house who could have at least stopped the child from committing suicide, or perhaps there was but this person might have also been powerless and helpless against the child’s abusive parents. Considering that the child was helpless and powerless, someone could have stopped him from committing suicide but his parents may have been either too irresponsible or too cruel to at least have thought of this. The child may have decided to kill himself because of the various psychological factors that defined his social environment, and in all these, the parents were to blame for everything. One of such psychological factors could have been seriously severe emotional trauma. Suicide attempts among those with BPD may be triggered by “highly traumatic” experiences in childhood, which may naturally include physical or sexual abuse. The child in this particular case is believed to have been “abused” and such an abuse may be anything from verbal, emotional, physical or sexual, which are all heavily destructive. Moreover, whether the abuse was done by one or both parents, it is clear that both parents must have consented to each other inflicting pain on the child, and thus were jointly responsible for his death. A second psychological factor that perhaps made the child lose hope in living is “severe emotional neglect” (Paris, 2011). The feeling of neglect differs from the emotional trauma in that while the latter is synonymous to the pain of the abuse, the feeling of neglect deals with the child’s own interpretation of the meaning of the abuse. The child may therefore have interpreted such an abuse as a sign that his parents did not love him anymore and thus this feeling of the lack of love may have somehow made him think that he was worthless. A feeling of worthlessness could then translate as a feeling that nobody would care even if he died right now (Paris, 2011). This could be the reason for the child’s suicide and the parents must be responsible for bringing about such feelings of neglect and worthlessness in him. The child’s parents are to blame for his suicide because they did not deal with their own personal and psychological problems, which may also have been BPD. One possible proof that the parents themselves were somehow suffering from the same personality disorder as their child is the claim that the traits that characterize someone with BPD are known to be “heritable” (Paris, 2011). However, this is only based on the assumption that the child himself was suffering from BPD. Another proof that the parents had BPD was that the reason that they hurt the child may have been that they were making “great demands” on him (Paris, 2011). This could have been the reason behind the abuse, which could have been in the form of numerous severe beatings. Moreover, another reason why the parents could have been suffering from BPD especially at the time of the child’s suicide is that parents who often abuse their children are most likely to be “highly unstable emotionally” and usually have “wide mood swings,” which are in fact two of the clinical features of someone with BPD (Paris, 2011). A parent naturally loves his child and even if he does not, a human being would not have any strong reason for hurting someone. However, in this particular case, the child’s parents may actually love the child, or even if they do not, may not have the natural tendency to hurt someone for no particular reason. However, since they still hurt him and since they abuse him (where the term “abuse” may refer to something harshly and unreasonably done), then the only explanation for what these parents used to do to their child is that they were most probably “highly unstable emotionally” and thus only acted upon their “wide mood swings” (Paris, 2011). Whether or not the parents of the child who killed himself knew that they had BPD or not, or whether they knew what they were doing to him or not, they could at least have learned how to control their own “highly unstable” emotions, which could have been the very first step towards their emotional maturity and towards a positive change in their personalities and one which could even have spared their child’s life (Paris, 2011). The question, however, is that since BPD is characterized by a highly “self destructive” behavior and tendency, then why did the parents inflict harm upon the child and not upon themselves? (Paris, 2011). A possible explanation for this is that perhaps they had found in their child a helpless being that would at least serve as someone they could take it all out on. Since it is suspected that the parents have BPD, their own crumbling relationship towards each other may have taken its toll on them and thus their own issues may have been expressed in the form of violence towards their son. According to Paris (2011), someone who is suffering from BPD naturally “make great demands on other people and easily become frightened of being abandoned by them.” Thus, the parents may have been dealing with their own separation or jealousy issues, and so these may have usually ended up with feelings of being neglected by the other spouse, suspicions of being cheated on, or just mere exaggerated jealousy. Such feelings may have then been too sensitive to be dealt with in a confrontation, and so it might have been expressed as acts of violence. Furthermore, since the goal of the violent person is not necessarily to get even but just to let out his violence, then perhaps the parents have both unconsciously chosen their son as one to whom they directed such violence and abuse. Since the son may not have been mentally mature enough to understand his parents’ own issues, he may therefore have interpreted such violence and abuse as unreasonable and meant only to humiliate him. One finds comfort even in the cruelest moments only if one is able to understand the reasons behind it. If there is no knowledge of the true reasons, then discomfort may set in and one effort at getting rid of such discomfort could be suicide. Moreover, it was the parents’ fault not to recognize the fact that “a child [also] has a tendency to be anxious” (Young, 2010). Perhaps the parents of the child who committed suicide simply thought that since their child was just a kid, then he would not take the abuse seriously and would simply just forget about it after it happened. Little did they know that what the child felt after every instance of abuse may have piled up and eventually led to suicide. Possible Counterarguments and Refutation According to Paris (2011), “Many borderline patients have parents with impulsive or depressive personality traits” and not with borderline personality, but this does not seem to be the case. This means that perhaps the child’s parents may not have had BPD but rather either impulsive or depressive personality traits. However, someone who is suffering from depressive personality disorder is usually characterized by feelings of dejection, joylessness and gloominess, and is usually brooding and given to worry (Finnerty, 2009). These are clearly and obviously not characteristics of the parents of the child who killed himself. They were rather critical and abusive of him. However, according to DSM-V, depressive personality disorder is also about being “critical, blaming and derogatory” and also being “negativistic, critical and judgmental towards others” (Finnerty, 2009). Nevertheless, although one can be both depressive and critical at the same time, Finnerty (2009) adds that people with Depressive Personality Disorder are rather “prone to feeling guilty or remorseful.” This is obviously also not a quality of either parent of the child in the case who committed suicide. If, therefore, the parents had been suffering from depressive personality disorder, then they would have stopped abusing their child at a certain point where they would so much guilt about it. Moreover, as for the possibility that the parents had impulsive behavior, this is particularly true since impulsivity is related to BPD anyhow. There is also a possibility that the child is blamed for killing himself not only because suicide is against religion or because it is the option of the weak-willed but that he is expected to have sought help for his problems, but it is clear that no one would be able to expect a child to actually seek help in such a setting. Calling the local crisis resolution team or the community mental health nurse is recommended for those with BPD (Treating borderline personality disorder, 2012). However, the child may not even know that he was suffering from BPD during that time, and most probably, he would not have even realized at all that he had actually been suffering from a dangerous mental condition. Furthermore, Grohol (2007) recommends finding a support group for encouragement. Nevertheless, the child may have been an introvert himself or he may not even have the faintest idea that he would need a support group in order to remedy a problem that is ironically highly personal and would not seem to appear like it is anyone’s concern. Still, some would say that the boy should have at least controlled his emotions (Borderline Personality Disorder, 2012). Nevertheless, if even the adult parents could not do anything to restrain themselves from hurting the child, no one would expect at all that a young child would have enough prudence that would exceed even that of his parents. Conclusion The case of the child who committed suicide is a case of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder and with parents who had the same disorder and who were to blame for the child’s decision to kill himself. The child may have killed himself out of severe trauma, severe emotional neglect, and feelings of worthlessness. The parents were at fault because they did not recognize or deal with their own personal and psychological issues without harming their child in the process. They also did not realize that children could develop full-blown anxiety which could lead to suicide. Although some critics would say that the parents were not suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder but from depression, it could not be true because the parents did not seem to show any signs of guilt or remorse even after several instances of abusing their child. Moreover, although some would say that the child could have sought help, it is simply impossible not only because he was a mere child but especially because he may not have even realized the dangerous situation that he was actually in. References Borderline Personality Disorder. (2012). Retrieved from Guide to Psychology: http://www.guidetopsychology.com/bpd.htm Finnerty, T. (2009). Depressive Personality Disorder: Understanding Current Trends in Research and Practice. Columbus, OH: WorldwideMentalHealth.com, 27-28. Retrieved from Worldwide Mental Health: http://www.worldwidementalhealth.com/dpdcspace.pdf Grohol, J. (2007). Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment. Retrieved from Psych Central: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/borderline-personality-disorder-treatment/ Paris, J. (2011). Borderline Personality Disorder: What Is It? What Causes It? How Can We Treat It? Retrieved from the James Wood website: http://www.jwoodphd.com/borderline_personality_disorder.htm Treating borderline personality disorder. (2012). Retrieved from NHS Choices: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Borderline-personality-disorder/Pages/Treatment.aspx Young, M. E. (2010). What Would Lead a Child to Suicide? Signs to Watch For. Retrieved from DallasNews.com: http://www.dallasnews.com/health/headlines/20100208-What-would-lead-a-child-to-2244.ece Read More