Mom and Dad Required - Assignment Example

PaQuita Thompson 20 August Mom and Dad Required Because of human choices that result in divorce, unwed pregnancies, same-sex “marriages,” surrogate motherhood, and artificial insemination ? or uncontrolled circumstances such as the death of a parent – a large percentage of children in the United States are being raised without the ideal environment of having a mother and father at home. In fact, 13.7 million single parents are rearing 21.8 million children in America today, which accounts for 26 percent of youth under the age of 21.

With current divorce rates hovering around 50 percent and other social forces depriving children of both biological parents, which parent is not necessary… a mom or a dad? The resounding answer to this question is “neither.” A mother and a father in the home distinctly provide their children the support, guidance, and security they need for proper and health development. Common sense, history, and research tell us that in order to provide for the healthy nurturing of a child, the care and love of both a father and mother is necessary.

Despite what the politically correct media and activist groups assert, the role of neither a father or a mother in child rearing are dispensable or interchangeable, as it is impossible for the mother to extend fatherly care to a child and vice versa. Each has a distinct role in the home to which children must be exposed, and when that role is absent, youth will not receive the balanced and essential mental, emotional, and physical support they need, desire, and deserve. Soon after children are born, they rely on the father for security and on the mother for love and care.

A child’s need and yearning for protection is primarily found in the presence of his or her father, who is naturally endowed with the discernment, natural disciplinary capabilities, and physical strength that gives youth a much-needed sense of security (Hall). Furthermore, the source of America’s Judeo-Christian culture ? the Bible ? also establishes the father’s crucial role in instructing his offspring: “A wise son heeds his father’s instruction,” (The NIV Study Bible, Prov. 13.1). Just as it is impossible for a mother to cultivate the same sense of security that her child would receive from his or her father, a father’s ability to provide the motherly love and support for his children is untenable, at best.

The tenderness and affectionate love that a mother instinctively extends to her children cannot be replicated by a dad, as this distinct emotional bonding is critical to a child’s sound development and can only be experienced through the mother (Pianta, et al.). Without the sense of security expressly found through a relationship with a father and without the maternal love and care only administered by a mother, children will not be exposed to the essential building blocks that fully develop their intellectual, social, emotional, physical, behavioral, and moral foundation.

The traditional home, where a father works and the mother looks after the children, provides the ideal living conditions and emotional support that youth need for a healthy family life. However, with single parenthood, children are deprived of the proper balance needed in the home, where one parent futilely attempts to fill the void and sustain the family’s needs. Trying to play two roles as a parent proves to be quite stressful, as single parenting requires a parent “to be a sympathetic mother plus a strict and providing father at the same time,” (Single Parenting Advice).

In the nuclear family, the father acts as the police force who administers discipline in the family, but a single mom must handle the disciplinary matters and the caring needs in tandem, and it is quite difficult for her to switch these roles on and off and pretend she is both of these persons at once. Oftentimes, the child manages to identify the real face of his or her mother, making it virtually impossible for her to wear her false hat any longer. Both mothers and fathers find it to be an insurmountable task to effectively impersonate the others’ role in the home, and children sense this.

Psychological, emotional, and behavioral problems are often discovered in children from single-parent homes, where feelings of inferiority frequently develop. Negative feelings of anger and resentment can result when children from divorced homes witness peers being raised by both parents. In these cases, the mother or father must be candid about the reasons of the other parent’s departure, as well as about the whereabouts of the missing parent in order to mitigate any detrimental feelings (Single Parenting Advice).

Neither the mom nor dad can make up for the absence of the other, and frustratingly, they can only play damage control. No matter how one stacks it, single parenthood is detrimental to a child’s development, as neither parent can effectively play the other’s part. It is a natural fact that children need a sense of security that can only be found in a father and the nurturing and love that ideally comes from a mother. Without parents playing out their natural part, the healthy development of their children is virtually impossible.

Children are quite savvy to detect when one parent is being an imposter and unnaturally assuming the other parent’s role, and parents cannot fool themselves to truly believe that they can effectively replace the other. A single-parent home is never the ideal situation for children, where one parent accepts the duty of two to sustain a family – an arrangement that unavoidably heaps burdensome stress on both parent and child alike. The roles of mothers and fathers are both distinct, yet essential parts of raising healthy children.

Works Cited Grail, Timothy S. Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support: 2007. United States Census Bureau, U.S. Department of Commerce Economics and Statistics Administration, 2009. Washington, D.C: United States Government Printing Office. November 2009. Web. 18 August 2011. Hall, Michael J. “Strong Fathers as Strong Teachers.” Strongfathers.com. 1 Feb. 2011. Web. 18 Aug. 2011. Pianta, R.C., Nimetz, S.L., Bennett, E. “Mother-Child Relationships, Teacher-Child Relationships, and School Outcomes in Preschool and Kindergarten.

” Early Childhood Research Quarterly, 12. (1997) : 263-280. Print. “Single Parenting Advice.” SingleParentCenter.net. 2011. Web. 18 Aug. 2011. The NIV Study Bible. Ed. Kenneth Barker. Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House. 1995. Print.