Values, Change and Diversity in Communication - Essay Example

VALUES, CHANGE AND DIVERSITY IN COMMUNICATION Values, Change and Diversity in Communication Affiliation Values, Change and Diversity inCommunication The topic seeks to enlighten the reader on the core family values of Filipinos, how it has changed over time, what different changes are notable between two generations and how intercultural differences affect the communication scenario. Before going further, a definition of terms is in order. Values pertain to the accepted norms or principles in a group. Change takes place when the condition of an object, idea, a place or a person is altered. Diversity refers to the variability of the object in consideration. Communication is the exchange of information from one to another. The aim of this paper is to show that the values of the Filipino family I learned about have changed slightly in some way over the last two or three generations. This statement is consistent with reports in the Social Science literatures on the Philippines posted on online websites. For this piece, I have interviewed two sources, Jim and Donna (not their real names) to provide additional material for this research. In comparing the mental image of the Filipino which I was able to create, there is a slight discrepancy in the lifestyles lead by my interviewee as well as his mother against what has been recorded. The reasons for these are as varied as the other findings which I was able to collect and it would be best to tackle them one at a time. The Philippines is located in Southeast Asia, with a population of 97.9 million as of July 2009 (“The World Factbook”). The citizens of the country are called Filipinos, and theirs is a race which is a fusion of Malay, Chinese, Spanish, Indian and American ancestry. Filipinos are warm, friendly, and cheerful people who have a rich, cultural heritage due to the numerous influences from the countries which have conquered the nation in the past. More than 80% of its population are Roman Catholics (“The World Factbook”), hence, the Philippines is said to be the largest catholic nation in Asia. Filipinos hold conservative values when it comes to family and blood relations. They are clannish, and are very protective of their nuclear family. 1) One of the Filipino values which I think may have changed is the value of traditional courtship. Courtship is one of the stages which young adults have to go through to be able to get to the stage of marriage. According to one website -- which enumerates the traditional courtship rituals in the Philippines as: ‘1) the practices of serenading; 2) doing difficult household chores to prove your intentions; and 3) writing love letters’ -- these passionate rituals are still being observed by Filipinos (loveguide.me) but unfortunately, they no longer are. According to Donna, the practice has long been extinct and forgotten. The Filipino formal courtship practice of visiting the girl at home to woo her is also becoming uncommon due to the abundance of other forms of media – like SMS and chat rooms --where the courtship can still ensue, even more privately and inconspicuously. My interview with Jim reveals that he does not believe in a long courtship process. When he meets a girl whom he finds beautiful according to his standards, he goes through the motions of friendship first. He tries to get to know her attitudes, beliefs and values, and after a week of togetherness, he asks her if he likes him. The question is asked bluntly: “Would you like to be my girlfriend?”, and that’s it. If she says yes, then they’re a pair; if not, then they will remain friends. In Donna’s generation, courtship was also different. It was no longer the traditional one, with the serenade, but it still followed the formal practice where the suitor goes to the girl’s house, brings her a gift, and she serves him refreshments. They spend time together talking, while playing a board game, and before it gets too late, or usually around 8 to 8:30 in the evening, the suitor asks permission from the girl’s parents to leave, and off he goes. After several weeks, which can also extend to months, the girl is asked of her answer. If she says yes, then they can hold hands, and can be seen together in public in the next days. If she says no, then that will be the last time he will visit her. The possible reasons for the marked change in courtship practices and values as seen in the interviewee are: 1) the urban orientation of the interviewee; 2) the adaptation of western cultural practices, or 3) the influence of peers. The urban orientation of Jim may be an essential factor since this outlook consents to more liberated social practices, and he has been leading an urban lifestyle – for the major part of his life. Jim and his peers are also bombarded with western cultural practices which can be seen on the media and the internet, being more exposed to this sort of entertainment in an urban setting, and this conditioned mentality may have influenced his perception of reality. Peers also play an important part in the change. Young adults usually fish for advice from their peers – rather than their parents -- especially concerning matters of the heart. With Donna, despite having an urban upbringing, the values stayed intact most probably due to the conservative values of her mother which were passed on to her. Too, there were only a few types of media available at that time, and consumption was usually controlled. 2) Related to this value of courtship is the changed value placed on marriage. It is said that in the Philippines, marriage happens when a boy and a girl who are in a relationship, are deemed ‘old enough’ or when they have a job and a source of income to support a family. One website says: ‘A woman who reaches the age of thirty-two without marrying is considered past the age for marriage’ (“The Philippines, Countries…”). According to Donna, a girl getting pregnant without the benefit of marriage is considered a disgrace to the family, so it is also an imperative rationale to tie the knot. Marriage for the Filipino is a very important occasion and it is usually done with a ceremony and a feast – which is what most couples have to painstakingly save up for. Being a clannish race, the nuclear family and relatives of both parties have to attend this gathering, and not attending such an occasion will be either an insult or will cause a big issue. ‘Most Filipinos would prefer a formal church wedding’ (Borlongan, 3). Marriages done in the province are more often than not grandiose and extravagant according to Donna. Only the rich can afford these kinds of celebrations because even those who are not invited will most probably come, under the guise of helping out, and will have to be cordially received and acknowledged just the same. For Jim, marriage means the end of his life as a single man. It also connotes giving up on things that one has been accustomed to because getting married means being responsible and dependable. Jim also feels that marriage is a serious thing which should not be taken lightly, hence, he has taken the initiative to temporarily put the idea aside for the meantime since he wants to focus on getting a job first. However, when asked what kind of marriage ceremony he would like to have, he said he would be content with a simple one as long as the love between the couple is there. For Donna, marriage is also important, but she was also stubborn during her younger days. She wanted to get married at an early age but her first boyfriend left to get a teaching job in the US, so she found another man. Without her family’s consent, she went to stay with her boyfriend in their province. The promise of marriage and an opportunity to have a US citizenship in the future gave Donna much hope, but after 6 years of being in a “live-in” arrangement, she gave up. A widow with 6 children came along, they got married in a civil ceremony and Donna started life anew. Unfortunately though, she never had the chance to get married in church. And however much she upheld the value of marriage, when the children came and the expenses spiraled, it just seemed an impractical option to take. Similar to the ones given in the first example, the possible reasons which may have likely caused the change in values are: the urban orientation and the adaptation of a western perspective by both interviewees. The new perspective on marriage is this -- Marriage is still important but can be held in abeyance or be less costly. Jim still upholds the value of marriage although he does not see the necessity of having an extravagant celebration since this would only be a burden to the newly-weds. On the other hand, Donna learned from her mistakes the hard way, but she realized on her own that marriage is not the be-all-end-all of life. Donna feels that couples should forego the gaudy traditional practice in the same way that Jim advocates it. Both Jim and Donna do not think from the conventional viewpoint, and they are both independent-minded and practical, a mindset which has been influenced by the contemporary and urban lifestyle they lead. 3) Health values of Filipinos have also significantly changed since the early times. A study by the Department of Health in the Philippines came up with the finding that life expectancy among Filipinos has been steadily increasing every year (“Health Status of Filipinos”, 7). Donna’s parents died quite young. Her mother died of breast cancer at age 55 while her father died with kidney problems at 67. Donna did not see any of them do any regular form of exercise, nor did they practice good eating habits like avoiding salty foods, cholesterol-rich foods, those with high-sugar content, or limiting caffeine intake. That’s why Donna promised herself that she will follow a track different from the one taken by her parents. She also vows to show to her children, by example, that exercise is good and that it is necessary to live a longer life. In addition, she has also taken a conscious effort to be more aware of what she eats, and avoiding foods which are ticking time-bombs. Jim, on the other hand, does not care much about his health. He smokes around 8 sticks a day and takes alcoholic drinks around a liter or two, once every 3 days or so when he gets to group with his friends. His motto: “If you enjoy it, then do it!”. He hopes to slowly get rid of his vices, and eventually stop them, once he gets the steady job he is currently applying for. There was a time when just wearing a jogging/exercise outfit would elicit a stare from one’s neighbors, thus making one overly self-conscious and not wanting to even make the effort to go ahead and keep fit. Now, this is no longer the case. Filipinos have realized that getting healthy is no longer just a fad, but a commitment a person does for oneself. The possible reasons for the change in health values from the early times to Donna’s generation, and then to Jim’s period stems from an increased awareness initiated by media as regards the positive effects of being healthy. Although Jim’s position seems to deviate from the positive value changes as shown by readings, his contention is just to enjoy the vices as part of his youth because he will soon give them up once he gets a job. 4) Another Filipino value which seems to have changed is the value placed on getting employment after finishing school. As per the article written in “Filipina Dating Tips” ‘Children are not expected to leave home even in their early adulthood…Older children who earn incomes are expected to help pay for household expenses, including the education of younger siblings’ (“Filipino Values”). Somehow, in today’s generation, there is more of a tendency to take time, to be more relaxed, and to just be complacent that the right work opportunity will come. In Donna’s generation, she related that she was too much in a hurry to accomplish things like getting married, getting a degree, finding a job and getting fulfilled. At 22 she became a mother, at 23 she finished her course, at 24 she had a great job, and at 26 she was already fulfilled with almost all aspects of her life. At least that was how she saw things at that time. Later on, realizing that she was at the losing end of a live-in relationship, she ran off with the first guy who offered her marriage, brought her son along, and started over. The haste and impulsiveness did not pay off for Donna but it was just too fortunate that she was given a second chance at life. In the end, she realized that making hurried decisions without the necessary reflection to go with them will only cause one more trouble, and more wasted time and effort. Conversely, Jim is taking the time to enjoy his singleness. He is trying vices, spending time with friends, dating, courting, and taking time to choose a place of employment. He finished his college in the 1st semester of 2008, and he hasn’t been doing anything since. “Istambay” in Tagalog or “stand-by” is the term used to refer to his kind who has finished school but isn’t doing anything to get employed. And he isn’t in a hurry to do so. I was able to read an article related to this phenomenon which is referred to as the Quarterlife Crisis, where the person in the 20-somethings age is left in a quandary as to the direction he has to go (Jayson). Not knowing what direction to take, he opts to stop and relax instead of making mistakes. This may be one reason for the change in values for getting employed. Another would be the risk of taking on greater responsibilities. Jim asserted that Donna has been putting much of the burden of household chores on him being the oldest brother and being as yet unemployed. Jim expressed fear that Donna will expect much from him again once he gets employed, hence his hesitance to find a good job. A third reason which may be cited is the avoidance of committing the same mistakes made by parents. Jim saw everything that happened to his mother and he does not want to hurry himself simply because his mom hurried too much. I have mentioned only four values that have changed notably over the last few decades but I know that there are still more, and it is expected that eventually there will be more, but it would take more research to include them. However, compared to the number of values which have been retained in the culture, it will take some time to modify or totally obliterate traits which make the Filipino a unique ethnic group by itself. Notwithstanding, there are countless Filipino values which have stood the test of time like the way Filipinos address each other as a sign of respect. “There is … the traditional use of ‘po’ and ‘opo’ as a sign of reverence to older family members by the younger ones” (“Filipino Values”). “Po” and “opo” do not have any literal English counterparts but they are somehow the equivalent of adding a sir or madam to any statement. When talking to someone older than you, he or she is addressed as “Ate” (older sister) or “Kuya” (older brother). Filipino families also follow the regular Sunday custom of going to church to attend mass. Still in line with old-school practices, ‘Filipinos are taught to be sensitive to other peoples feelings and, generally, do not say words that may embarrass or shame a fellow human’ (“The Philippines”). In other words, the concept of frankness is frowned upon, which is also related to the concept of “hiya” (shame) and is regarded as a prevalent attitude among Filipinos. With the richness of the Filipino culture, it would take another study to be able to tackle these topics. With regards to intercultural communication, not much difficulty was encountered in the interview because the questions were clear and direct to the point. The questions were given initially before the interview, so the interviewees had time to study them before the verbal interplay. The interview was conducted via webcam so the scope of physical interaction was quite limited. There were awkward moments and some dead air at the onset, but the inhibitions were gradually eliminated as we went along. Being a media person, Donna has already been exposed to these things, hence, she provided the necessary guidance for her son, Jim, and this aided in making this interview a smooth-flowing one. In conclusion, the research was able to attain its goal of providing an insight into the culture of another group, learning about their values, how their values have changed over time, and the impact the research method had on intercultural communication. References “The World Factbook”. Central Intelligence Agency. 1 April 2010. 16 April 2010. < https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/rp.html> Loveguide.me. “Philippine-style Traditional Courtship”. Love Guide Me 2007-2010. 16 April 2010. < http://www.loveguide.me/courtship/philippinecourtship.html> “The Philippines, Countries and their Cultures”. www.everyculture.com. 2010. 16 April 2010. < http://www.everyculture.com/No-Sa/The-Philippines.html> Borlongan, Josienita. “Filipino Customs and Traditions: Courtship, Engagement and Marriage”. Associated Content. 3 Oct 2007: pp. 1-4. 16 April 2010 < http://www.associatedcontent .com/article/397501/filipino_customs_and_traditions_courtship.html?cat=49> “Health Status of Filipinos”. Department of Health Philippines. n.d., 16 April 2010. “Filipino Values that Bind the Family”. Filipina Dating Tips. 29 May 2008. 16 April 2010. Jayson, Sharon. “It’s Time to Grow Up – Later”. USA Today. 30 Sept 2004. 16 April 2010. “The Philippines” 2010. 16 April 2010. < http://family.jrank.org/pages/1277/Philippines.html> INTERVIEW Interviewee’s Name: “Jim” Age: 22 From what ethnic background: Filipino From what sub-group in the Philippines: Both parents Ilocano but spent more growing up years in Metro Manila Languages spoken: Filipino/Tagalog, English, Ilocano dialect Education: College Graduate Relative Income Level: None Rural / Urban? Urban Religion: Roman Catholic but not practicing Occupation: None, still job-hunting ************************ Interviewee’s Parent’s Name: “Donna” Age: 43 From what ethnic background: Filipino From what sub-group in the Philippines: both parents Ilocano from but grew up in Metro Manila Languages spoken: Filipino/Tagalog, English, Ilocano dialect Education: College Graduate Relative Income Level: more or less $400-500 a month Rural / Urban? Urban Religion: Roman Catholic Occupation: Freelance writer, editor, transcriber INTERVIEW WITH JIM - Religious Beliefs Going to church is not necessary. He goes to attend mass only when he feels like it. He also does not regularly have his confession, and does not receive Holy Communion. He usually does religious obligations only in the company of friends. He does not go with his family anymore. He feels he is matured enough to make this decision and he is not being pressured to do so by his parents. Dating / Mate Selection Jim usually chooses his date on the basis of friendship. Once he has chosen a girl to court, he gives himself 1 week to get to know the girl. He does not focus much on the physical features but more on the attitudes and values. Flirts are disregarded and not tolerated. Also, girls who have the tendency to be fussy, hard-to-please, standoffish, stubborn or unsociable. Jim usually chooses a friend to be his gf if he sees that she can accept him the way he is rather than an illusion of what he should be. Marriage: For Jim, marriage means the end of his single-hood. It also means giving up on all things he has been accustomed doing since it is a period where more responsibility is expected. Pre-Marital Sex If the girl is amenable, why not? Roles and obligations within the family: As the oldest brother in the household, Jim thinks that he has to bear most of the responsibilities which he should be sharing with his siblings. He also feels that the task is a tough one but he can take the challenge. Health Jim thinks that his health is fine and he has nothing to worry about. He feels that he is eating a healthy diet, carrying out a healthy lifestyle. He smokes (around 8 sticks a day) and drinks with his friends (around 1-2 liters, 3x a week) on a regular basis. He feels that he shouldn’t cut on these vices because he enjoys doing them. He’s giving himself some time until he finds a steady job before he will slowly give these up and eventually stop them. Career Jim is currently looking for a job, if possible, something related to his course, but if not, then something transitional will suffice. Jim thinks that a job is something that should not be taken seriously because this will only stress you out and make you age faster. What’s important in Life? God, family, girlfriend, my cat, in that order. Why? God – for the blessings, Family – for the love and support, Girlfriend – for the love and inspiration, my cat – for removing my daily stress. ********************* INTERVIEW WITH DONNA (Mother of Jim)- Religious Beliefs Donna believes that religion is important and going to mass every Sunday is necessary. She was born and raised that way and she would certainly want to do the same for her family. However, since her children are all boys, she doesn’t force anything on them because she thinks that girls are raised differently from boys. Dating / Mate Selection / Marriage: Donna’s eldest son Jim is by another man whom she did not marry. Donna got married in 1996, to a widow who already had 6 children by his first nuptial. Donna had a difficult time during her early twenties because she was not properly guided by her father, who was shouldering her schooling at that time. Her mother and father got separated when she was barely 12 years old. With regards to Jim’s dating/mate selection, Donna does not interfere because she knows that Jim is already old enough to know his limitations. But she warns her from time to time of the possibilities which may happen with regards to sexual relations. Roles and Obligations within the Family: Each one has an essential role to play and each one should be responsible with the responsibility which is assigned to him/her. As a mother, Donna helps her husband with the income by accepting online writing jobs, and transcribing jobs. Health Donna is a health-buff. She’s conscious of what she eats and she takes time on weekends to attend tae-bo sessions at the park whenever she has the spare time. Donna’s mom died of breast cancer, and her father died of kidney problems which got complicated. She never saw any of her parents get any form of exercise, and they both died quite young – her mother at 55, her father at 67. This is why Donna vowed to herself that she will try her best to live a longer so that she can see her children and grandchildren grow up. Career Donna believes that having a career does not necessarily connote fulfillment. She just had this experience of working 8.5 years full-time in a real-estate company which did not value her loyalty to the company. She tried to venture into writing and now finds greater fulfillment by writing freelance. What’s important in Life? Having a good spiritual life. Being happy and content. Doing things that you love to do. Having your family to love and being loved by them in return. Having friends you can count on especially when the going gets tough. Read More