What is True Intimacy - Essay Example

 What is True Intimacy? ESSAY TWO Define a term used frequently in this course: identity, intimacy, faux intimacy, sacred spaces, culture, public space and so on. Your definition must be original, not run-of-the-mill. Aspects you need to consider in defining are: (1) What issue makes a definition of this term important? (2) To what larger class of things does the concept belong? (3) What are important aspects of the term/concept as you are defining it? As you develop your definition, reflect on these questions: Who or what is influencing my definition of this concept? How or why are these sources or even beliefs influencing my definition? Almost every definition we have is a learned one. Think about the definition of the term that you learned and where/how you learned it. Then, rethink the term and come up with a humorous, subtle, or profound definition that is not a common definition of the term. For example: Identity is a script that we live by. Your paper must be a minimum of 3 full pages not counting the cover page or the works cited page. It must be in MLA style and you need a minimum of two sources that we have read in class and two blog sources (not from the class). James Joyner states in his article “JournoList Shuts Down” that “a newspaper column is public, and writers treat it as such.” A blog is also private and can be seen as a means of building connections between people. However, when describing social networks such as Twitter and Facebook, Joyner expresses doubt in regards to how “safe and intimate” these sites are. He also expresses concern about private e-mails, explaining that a private e-mail list “is not public, but an electronically archived text protected only by a password field and the good will of its members.” It is easy to write our innermost thoughts in media settings as if they are private environments, without considering the possibility that one day they could become public. Although social networks are supposed to connect people through the Internet, social networks have instead created faux intimacy. Faux intimacy is the appearance of a close connection disguising the true disconnection that occurs between people in online environments. Faux intimacy as disconnection disguised as connection is common in the modern technological world. For example, David Weigel, a journalist for the Washington Post and the subject of the latest publicized case of faux intimacy, was invited to a forum-blog website called Journolist. Journolist offers a window for professionals who are interested in daily discussion and in search of newsgroups. John Judis, a senior editor at The New Republic, describes JList as “a virtual coffeehouse” where participants get a chance to talk and argue their point of view (Politico, 2009). Mr. Weigel and other well-known liberal journalists and policy wonks have used the site to discuss their opinions on political matters and other news issues freely, feeling safe with the appearance of intimacy and trust within the group. However, opinions shared on the Internet are not always kept private, as Fishbowl DC ran the first batch of e-mails written by Weigel. Apparently, in his latest e-mails from the list, Weigel joked about wishing for the “death of Rush Limbaugh” and accused Republicans of “racism.” Weigel also wrote: “Matt Drudge should set himself on fire.” As a result, he was ridiculed for these opinions and, as the blog post says, “Weigel’s objectivity was brought into question.” The purpose of this forum was not to share personal opinions, but to ask questions and add comments about different topics. Weigel’s supporters argue that the real issue, however, is not Weigel’s public embarrassment, but rather the “shame of Fishbowl DC for publishing private correspondence” (Politico, 2009). According to Weigel, his intentions behind providing his opinions and sending such emails was to attempt to connect with other journalists and share his opinions. However, he feels that faux intimacy disconnected him from the world he surrounded himself with, even to the point where he was forced to resign from the Washington Post. Social networks in general are designed to build and strengthen connections between family members, friends, and anonymous followers; however the intimacy portrayed in these networking websites may indeed be faux, in that people are not truly connecting to others in the traditional sense. Twitter and Facebook, forms of social media that have remained popular within the public eyes, have similar purposes: connections on Twitter are built depending on who writes the best and most entertaining short tweets, which leads to becoming recognized by hundreds of thousands of unknown people, who are able to follow and analyze every tweet that is posted. Facebook, however, allows users to share a wider variety of posts that often contain pictures and feature topics such as what is going on in their lives or what they find important or entertaining. In addition, Facebook has features that allow for personal direct connection between friends and family members. These popular social networks allow people to become friends with everyone, giving the impression of close friendships; however, no one is really sure if these new types of friendship are true or lasting. This uncertainty is what disconnects people from each other, and characterizes faux intimacy. Every relationship is said to be built on a sense of friendship between two or more individuals developed through interaction on personal and impersonal levels. Faux intimacy is unreal intimacy that is not genuine and is not based on true knowledge of the other or shared characteristics and interaction. On social networking sites, parents, teachers, spouses, co-workers or employers can refer to each other as friends; however, the true depth of each relationship cannot be classified by an online networking site. Friend networks on such sites are no more than faux intimacy disguised as allegiance. People connected on a personal level rather than through social medias, such as people working together, are likely to learn more about each other’s personal beliefs, hobbies, and past experiences, which are often disclosed to colleagues quite quickly (David, 2009). Yet, the use of social networks makes it easier to discover and disclose certain things about other people without the need for real intimacy. The bond developed in relationships of faux intimacy often appears similar to the strength of a house of cards. This metaphorical house of cards is created as we collaborate with others, regardless of whether we want to build it or not. Faux intimacy can be seen when, for example, an online ‘friend’ announces an event, but of the hundreds of virtual connections the person has, only a handful show up. Therefore, recognizing the different types of intimacy, genuine or faux, can help someone evaluate how many true relationships they have in their social networks (Sobonfu, 2004). Another example of faux intimacy is the relationship between employers and employees, and between colleagues, who may pretend to take a strong and enduring interest in each other’s wellbeing, with selfish ulterior motives. Employees may develop relationships of faux intimacy with their bosses with the hopes of getting pay rises, remuneration, or increased paid leave. Therefore, both workplaces and social networking sites are common platforms for the development of faux intimacy. Although faux intimacy is prevalent in modern society, true intimacy is valuable and building it is worthwhile. Witnessing true reciprocal relationships can encourage people to sincerely care about each other, and could make a difference in any workplace or friendship. Leading by example is likely to create more genuine intimacy and closeness in those nearby. It is frequently said that the test of a friendship is during hard times. Thus, if a person has been through a traumatic experience, their work colleagues, families, and friends can see it as an opportunity to show that they care and display true intimacy. Works Cited: Jamison, Heather. Reclaiming intimacy: Overcoming the consequences of premarital relationships. New York: Kregel Publications, 2001. Mellody, Pia & Freundlish, Lawrence. The Initimacy factor: The ground rules for overcoming the obstacles to Trugh, Respect and Lasting love. New York: HarperOne, 2004. Red. “Fake Intimacy.” Reflections of a world citizen. Print. 10th November 2011. Schnarch, David. Intimacy & Desire: Awaken the passion in your relationship. New York: Beaufort Books, 2009. Sobonfu, Some. The Spirit of initmacy: Ancient African teachings in the ways of relationships. Seale Ballenger: William Morrow Paperbacks, 2000. Read More