Painting Model Metaphor - Essay Example

Parenting as a Metaphor Parenting is like creating a painting. When I decide to paint, I try to express my feelings and see the expression in color and form. I am the parent when I choose to create a painted picture. The physical tools are my limbs, the paintbrushes and colors, my mental and emotional aspects are involved at every moment. I set aside a specific time so that I can be in harmony with my work, unencumbered by external demands. As I put color to paper to form shapes, I am able to see whether the painting forms as I had originally intended. I continue to paint and find that my own ideas change in hue and intent as the painting follows a natural flow. I see myself as the creator but also experience growth as my creation communicates its own path to me. This is the experience of bi-directionality (Chapter 12) that arises when the paintbrush creates an image on the paper and is in turn directed by the image to flow with it. The act of creation is turn directed by the image it seeks to create. Is the outcome going to be all that I had thought it should? As I allow mutuality in communication to occur, I see the original thoughts undergo change; I provide direction and find that I am directed; I aid growth and positivity and feel the same occurring within my being. I take my daughter to the playground and watch with a lump in my throat as she scales new heights on the swing. If I had it my way, I would stop her from doing so but the expression on her face tells me that I should trust her and allow her to trust herself without letting my fear come in the way. Much as I would like to, I know that I cannot remain at the easel for long. There are a variety of activities that need to get done in the course of a day. I may spend 15 minutes of my time with my painting. In that time, I ensure that I am completely in tune with my activity. I am following the speed of slow (Chapter 12). I may utilize that time to change my color schemes, correct a smudge or add a new form. Whatever I do is with the sole aim of ‘being with’ my aim of creation. In the course of a hurried morning, I spend a little time with my son as I teach him to tie his shoelaces. I wait in silence as he tries to come up with something that looks like a tied lace and overcome the urge to set it right. I point out the possibility of the lace coming undone. He will come to me if he needs help. By being ‘with him’ in that moment, I have learnt to overcome my first impulse to set things right and allowed him to work out when he needs help. Creating special time is important (Chapter 16). There are many hurried moments in the course of a day but I must carve out specific time in the course of a day when I can just watch the painting. This is the time for new thoughts to appear or to just sit and reflect on the images and colors that I see. I might find new perspectives that I had missed earlier or new ideas that I can add to the piece. Incongruent parts and redundancies that take away from the experience of the painting would make themselves visible. Quiet time with children allows parents to tune in to their world and views, pains and secret wishes and provide direction to their thoughts. Generativity (chapter 13) or a feeling of meaningfulness arises when I treat the time spent on painting as valuable. The process is slow and undergoes changes every day, I feel energized by the thought of spending time in this manner. I learn through the experience of doing and being at the same time. It is my application of value to this time that makes it meaningful, if I avoided undertaking this activity, other work would fill the time bit I would lose out on the feeling that I had added value. Routines (Chapter 16) help me to be secure about the progress of my relationship with the painting that is being made. When I set a routine all the members in my family are aware that this is a special time and must be treated as such. I feel connected and enjoy the sense of continuity that this routine brings with it. Even the painting seems to like the assuredness that I will return to it at a specific time. I plan on how to stay with this routine and feel mentally and emotionally attuned to this activity. The transition (Chapter 13) into developing the habit of painting a little every day was rocky, to say the least. Work pressures, family demands, personal issues and community involvement often led to a sense of despair as to whether I would ever get down to painting as I wished. I had not realized the extent to which my transition into this habit would change my perceptions. For one, I started to look forward to hone my skills and learn new aspects of painting. What started out as enjoyable recreation slowly changed to become a responsibility, a nurturance that helped complete me. The important aspect of painting is that it allows me to be playful (Chapter 15). I am drawn to the business of mixing colors and coming out with unexpected hues, I thrill at the challenge of getting the right shade and am filled with wonder and sometimes disappointment at the end result. Colors shine when they are wet but change in hue and texture when they dry out. Anger, frustration, bitterness, sadness and any other negative feelings that I have had in the course of the day vanish when I take up the task with playfulness. My learning and insights occur in this state. Painting the perfect picture requires that I use the right tools in the form of thin or thick paintbrushes, the right consistency of paint and the necessary amount of emphasis to get the intended outcome. Feedback is immediate, poor consistency leads to smudging while the wrong paintbrush will leave my borders otherwise than intended. If I use the wrong degree of force when communicating with the paper, I am liable to tear a hole or have too little to show. The choice of the right tools for communicating (Chapter 16) helps me to be sure that the outcome is right. I learn as I go along and may change the tools to suit the changing image on the paper and rectify any areas that need help. Painting calls for a high degree of resiliency (Chapter 14) on the part of the creator. This would be difficult if I did not have high, positive expectations of the outcome. Yet, high expectations would lead to frustration with every error that I made and would disallow me to harmonize with the activity of creation. The ability to see the humor in my unintended actions on paper and allow the child in me to roll with mirth makes my desire to stick at the activity increase. I enjoy every moment of creation and am happy to wait to see what the outcome will look like. That way, I do not allow unhealthy feelings to mar the development of perspective and hinder my long term view. My ability to be physically present when I am painting rather than intending to be there while involved in alternate activity increases my feeling of attachment (Chapter 12) with the work that I do. This physical presence at the point that I intended increases my sense of internal trust. I am assured of the sanctity of the moment which leads to my emotional attachment with the task of painting. Physical bonding is essential for my well-being and feeling of security. Read More