The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families - Book Report/Review Example

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families Table of Contents A personal message Foreword by Sandra Merrill Covey You’re Going to be Off-Track 90 Percent of the Time. So What? Habit 1: Be Proactive (Becoming an Agent of Change in your Family) Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind (Developing a Family Mission Statement) Habit 3: Put First Things First (Making Family a Priority in a Turbulent World) Habit 4: Think “Win-Win” (Moving from “Me” to “We”) Habit 5: Seek First to Understand… Then to be Understood (Solving Family Problems Through Empathic Communications) Habit 6: Synergize (Building Family Unity through Celebrating Differences) Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw (Renewing the Family Spirit through Traditions) From Survival… to Stability… to Success… to Significance Notes Glossary Problem/ Opportunity Index Index About the Author About Franklin Covey Company 7 Habits and Definitions The main theme of this book is the application of the 7 habits as portrayed in one of the author’s previous books on the families. The 7 habits described in this book are; be proactive, begin with the end in mind, put first things first, think win-win, seek first to understand… then to be understood, synergize, and sharpen the saw. The book explains in comprehensive detail the application of these habits for making the families more effective. Stephen Covey describes how these habits can help an individual balance his life between his individual and family needs. The author describes the importance of these habits with comprehensive examples and their application in family setting. The book reflects the concept of a nuclear family because the author emphasizes upon the importance of the roles of each individual in the family and the significance of regular family meetings. According to Chapter 1, Be Proactive, an individual should learn to control his response against an external stimulus (Covey, 56). An individual’s response to a stimulus is the key towards growth and happiness (Covey, 56). It depends upon the individual to determine the manner in which he responds. He may adopt destructive attitude and rather than dealing with the stimulus, he may choose to let it affect him negatively, or he could deal with it constructively and respond in a cognitive manner. A person can use four abilities to control this habit that are; self-awareness, conscience, imagination and independence (Covey, 59). In a family setting, this habit can be used to develop trust by making certain emotional deposits. The emotional deposits that need to be made to create trust among family members are; to be kind, to apologize, to be loyal to those not present, to make and keep promises, and forgive (Covey, 85). According to Chapter 2, Begin with the End in Mind, the author advises the reader to create a vision of what the individual and family are all about (Covey, 90). According to the author, an individual should create a mission statement which reflects the unified expression from all of the family members regarding what the family is all about (Covey, 92). This idea by the author emphasizes on the importance of a nuclear family. For a nuclear family, it is highly important for all the family members to identify their roles in the family and the expression by each family member in the determination of a mission statement amplifies this concept. Thus, the idea presented by the author is that the family members should develop the ultimate mission for the family as a whole and then develop the rules and principles that will guide the family towards its ultimate mission. The author has also identified three steps that can be used for creating a mission statement. First step is to explore what the family is all about, second step is to write down the family mission statement, and the third step is to use the mission statement as a constitution in order to stay on track. The author continues with the third habit i.e. Put First Things First that advises the individual to develop ways to turn mission statement into a family constitution. According to the author, individuals are easily distracted by numerous other factors therefore the families may not remain the highest priority of an individual. The author has also pointed towards the changes in the nuclear family in the recent past. According to the author, there have been a number of changes in the past 50 years including the changes in the technology, the economy, the laws and popular culture (Covey, 150). These shifts in the external environment have deteriorated the structures of families. The author has presented ways by which an individual can create a definitive family structure which will not be affected by the changes in external environment easily. The author has suggested two essential structures that are; weekly family time and one-on-one bonding time. Covey suggests that individuals should put time into building relationships and in unifying the families. This way, an individual will have to spend less time to mend and save the broken relationships. One of the ways to organize the family is to create and define roles for each family member. Apart from the permanent roles, the family members should determine short term goals as well (Covey, 163). This exercise again emphasizes the importance of nuclear family which depends upon the bonds of the roles of each family member. It is highly important that all the family members in the nuclear family remain happy and satisfied with their respective roles. The Chapters 4 in the book, Think Win-Win, emphasizes on seeking mutual benefit. According to the author, having a win-lose attitude in a family may have detrimental impacts (Covey, 171). In an organizational setting, this attitude may turn out positive results, however in a family setting this attitude is bound to be devastating because an individual always remains attached to his family. One single conflict in a family may grow out to be a disaster therefore an individual needs to take great care in ensuring that the perspectives of all the family members are taken into account in all matters. The author continues to explain the importance of understanding the family members. According to the author, the primary causes of a misunderstanding in a relationship are different interpretations of the same events and different definitions of the same words. In Chapter 5, Seek First to Understand… Then to be Understood, the author emphasizes upon the importance of understanding the family members in order to adjust the expectations (Covey, 200). One of the exercises suggested by the author is to listen to other family members with empathy in order to understand their perspective (Covey, 212). In order to be understood by the family members, an individual must give feedback to communicate his own perspective. This is one of the most important factors for the success of a nuclear family as well. If the members of a family do not understand each other well, there would be conflicts that may have detrimental impacts on the family. The interdependence of the family depends upon the mutual understanding of the family members and it brings synergy in the family. In Chapter 6, Synergise, the author explains the importance of the interdependence of the family by describing the concept of synergy i.e. one plus one equals three and not two. By synergizing, a family finds and creates new solutions that were not considered or not possible earlier (Covey, 243). Through development of a mutual understanding, the family starts to operate in a synergy. According to the author, with the application of these habits a family develops a strong structure which is not affected by any external factors. Through mutual understandings, a unified mission statement and defined goals, a family operates in a manner that is acceptable by all the family members and all the family members remain satisfied with this structure. In Chapter 7, Sharpen the Saw, the author recommends the reader to continuously implement on the other habits in order to save the family from deteriorating (Covey, 258). Some of the ways recommended by the author are; family dinner, family vacation, holidays and learning together (Covey, 260). I chose this book because it provides very practical examples of how a family can be successful. This book also reflects the concepts that are included in the course. The book was focused on a nuclear family therefore the concepts and exercises described in the book are highly relevant to the course. The book is structured very nicely therefore it is very reader friendly as well. The way all the habits have been sequenced is very helpful. From the explanations provided by the author, it can be inferred that these habits can actually have a very positive impact on a nuclear family. Works Cited Covey, Stephen. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. Golden Books, 1997. Print. Read More