Issues for Children When Parents Divorce - Literature review Example

Paula Xavier Issues for Children when Parents Divorce Issues for Children when Parents Divorce This article analyses the much forgotten issue of children of parental divorce. They remain invisible victims of domestic violence which leads to divorce between their parents. They start facing new problems when they continue to live with their custodial parents. While it had been the view for the past forty years that the divorce was major catastrophe in the lives of children, recent researches show that it is only a monetary problem for them and they become resilient to adapt to the situation over a period of time without being affected by the negative outcomes of parental separation. Introduction Parental divorce is fraught with ramifications for children as has been widely portrayed in the literature and as one practically comes across instances in practical life situations. However, some scholars differ from this majority view and assert that children become resilient enough at one stage or other to withstand the negative consequences of their parental divorce. These divergent views notwithstanding, this study aims to examine the practical issues the children have to face in their lives when their parents divorce. . Children’s status post parental divorce Various reports suggest that about 1.5 million children and adolescents in the United States are affected by divorce by their parents. 40 % of children end up with divorced parents before the age of 16. Divorce rates are higher in remarriages than in first marriages. Children are driven to undergo several transitions such as moving into another residence, new school and new family members etc. They are subjected to depression, anxiety, drugs and alcohol consumption besides dropping out of school or showing poor academic performance which the writers call as behavioral outcomes on the part of children after the parental divorce. Eventually they become less privileged and neglected thus growing into an adulthood of high levels of misbehavior or under-controlled behaviour with lesser levels education, competence and income. They do not mostly enter college and remain unemployed and depend on welfare (Thomas & Gibbons, 2009). Children are resilient but issues remain Kelly and Emery (2003) who have the opposing views that the children of the divorced parents are resilient enough to adjust with new environment, however confirm that the children do face certain issues after the parental divorce such as; stress of the initial separation, parental conflict, diminished parenting after divorce, loss of important relationships which they calls as “stressors of the divorce process”. Remarriage and repartnering and loss of economic opportunities for their custodial parents are some of the woes the children have to suffer as the resultant outcomes along with their custodial parents (Kelly & Emery, 2003). As if to confirm their views, a study of O’Connor et al (2003) concludes that children’s behavioral problems are not necessarily co-related to parental separation as an environmental outcome since the individual differences of the subjects of population studied are attributed to genetic vulnerability aggravated by psychological stresses. Custodial parents especially mothers do not always remarry. They remain single mothers taking all the responsibilities themselves formerly shared with their spouses. Thus they have to work for more hours in their jobs which fact leads to their lesser social interaction with their children. Not only the single mothers become depressive as they have no social interaction for themselves but also the children and other family members feel reverberations of the single-mothers’ predicament. However, the children are found to become less affected by the depressive or withdrawn parenting as they mature into early adolescence from preadolescence (Wood et al, 2004). A longitudinal study also confirms that children of divorced families are as much effective as their peers in intact families in respect of their behavioral outcomes and that they are resilient although they may have negative relationships with their divorced parents. Hence the views of Kelly and Emery (2003) are reinforced by this Australian study (Ruschena et al, 2005). Issues faced by children in more detail It is becoming increasingly accepted that divorce is not viewed as a catastrophe to children any longer but as life transitions or turning points (Bagshaw, 2007). While Kelly & Emery (2003) have highlighted that parental divorce has been shown to be the cause of emotional and behavioral problems displayed by children for nearly four decades, they also demonstrate that the last decade’s studies have dismissed this as a simplistic view and that children perform well in the long run and only a minority of children is disturbed by parental divorce. In the first place, most children do not come know of the divorce immediately afterwards or in an impending stage and their late realization because of environmental changes comes to them as a rude shock. They have to move from one house another depending on the divorce outcome and in the process they have to decide what they should take along with them, get acquainted to new schedules, new rules, adapt to new spaces, coming to terms with the absence of the other parent and facing a parent’s wrath etc (Emery and Kelly,2003). Parental conflict The conflict between the parents do not cease with a divorce. The children have to face the ever-present conflict between the parents even after separation and divorce. The conflict can be of various kinds such as the one already existed prior to divorce, the one due to separation itself or as a result of legal proceedings that led to divorce (Kelly & Emery, 2003). Loss of important relationships As a result of divorce that leads to change of place of residence, children lose contact with close friends and relationship with nonresident parents particularly fathers (Emenry & Kelly 2003). The grief of the children is never cared for by either of the parents. The abrupt leaving of one parent creates scare in the mind of children and they feel insecure as a result. Economic opportunities It is a fact that divorce leaves the custodial parents and children with reduced standard of living. The custodial parents eligible for support do not receive it as suggested by statistics. It is a major stressor for both children and custodial parents (Kelly & Emery, 2003). Remarriage and repartnering Immediately after the divorce, the parents remarry or go in for repartnering which cause mental agony in children when they have helpless live with new partners (Kelly & Emery, 2003). Discussion and conclusion Current research states that status of children of parental divorce is not any different from that of their peers of intact families in the long run. All that the children of parental divorce undergo are part of growing up. They are not alone. Children whose parents die prematurely and children who suffer as a result of their parents’ existing standard of living also are likely to be victims of loss of earning capacity of their parents or family violence. The issues stated above will continue to remain as they are unavoidable as part of growing up. One solution demonstrated by Thomas and Gibbons (2009) is narrative career counseling in which children as students undergo the three stages of counseling as co-construction, de-construction and construction at school In the first stage, the counselor listens to what student has to say about his/her life experiences, his/her own words and events by which they understand the student’s identity. Various assessment techniques have to be adopted by the counselor in order to help students express themselves. In the second stage, student and the counselor collaborate to examine the stories with different perspectives. At this stage, students attempt to look at their lives through the lens of divorce as it has been a major and negative event in their lives. On the other hand, the counselor helps students to view their problems through multiple perspectives. In the third stage, the students are made to rewrite their stories with a future orientation. This way, “students. accentuate patterns and themes they wish to develop and become aware of those they wish to diminish or eliminate” (Thomas and Gibbons, 2009). The above account would thus highlight the issues of children of parental divorce as inevitable part of growing up and that they at one stage or other become resilient enough to take control of their situations. References Bagshaw Dale. (2007). Reshaping Responses to Children When Parents are Separating: Hearing Children’s Voices in the Transition. Australian Social Work Vol. 60, No. 4,, 450_465 Kelly Joan, B., & Emery, Robert, E., (2003) Childrens Adjustment Following Divorce: Risk and Resilience Perspectives. Family Relations, Vol. 52, No. 4 (Oct., 2003), pp. 352-362 in Skolnick Ariene S. and Skolnick Jerome, H. (2003) Family in Transition. Academic Internet Publishers. U.S. O’Connor Thomas G., Caspi Avshalom, DeFries John C and Plomin Robert. (2003) Genotype-environment interaction in children’s adjustment to parental separation. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 44:6, pp 849–856 Thomas, D., & Gibbons, M. (2009). Narrative Theory: A Career Counseling Approach for Adolescents of Divorce. Professional School Counseling, 12(3), 223-229. Retrieved from Academic Search Premier database. Ruschena Eda, Prior Magot, Sanson Ann and Smart Diana (2005). A longitudinal study of adolescent adjustment following family transitions. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 46:4, pp 353–363 Wood Jeffrey, J., Repetti Rena, L., and Roesch Scott, C., (2004). Divorce and Children’s Adjustment Problems at Home and School: The Role of Depressive / Withdrawn Parenting. Child Psychiatry and Human Development, Vol. 35(2), Winter 2004 Read More