When the Opposite Sex Speaks a Different Language - Essay Example

Apparently, my dad didn’t know this and I was shocked. One time when dad was the only one at home, I tried talking to him about my day. I had a really bad day but I don’t want to just blurt it out to him because to me, the feelings are painful and I want to be assured that I will be listened to. So I asked him how his day went. He replied with a brief story about what happened at the office. When he didn’t ask me, I tried asking him another set of questions and none of them seemed to give him the signal that it’s time for him to ask me.

When I got upset, I told him, “Aren’t you even going to ask me about my day?” I felt really bad. But he apologized and said, “Sweetie, I didn’t even know you wanted to say something. You kept asking me. If you want to tell me about your day, go right ahead.” Only then did I realize that men don’t instinctively know this “non-spoken rule” among women. For them, if you ask a question, it is a message that you just want information and not comforting.

As it was pointed out by Maltz and Broker, one tendency of a woman when it comes to communication is to ask questions. (A Cultural Approach, 38) In my experience in that conversation with my dad, this proved to be true. I believe that this miscommunication was due to gender differences because whenever I ask my mom or my girlfriends about their day or feelings, they always return the question to me. We always ask each other questions but I don’t recall my dad or brother asking me. As it was explained in men’s features, men make more direct declarations of fact or opinion than do women.

(A Cultural Approach, 38) When they want to say something, they don’t ask me first, they go right ahead. Another factor that may have affected the miscommunication in my example is sex role. As it was said in Explanations Offered, having been taught to speak and act like “ladies” women become as unassertive and insecure as they have been made to sound. (A Cultural Approach, 39) It was unassertive of me to ask my dad about his day first instead of just telling him about my day which was my real intention.

In these simple everyday experiences, I realize that gender differences play a very important role in communication.Works CitedMonaghan, Frances, and Jane E. Goodman. A Cultural Approach to InterpersonalCommunication: Essential Readings. Malden, MA: Blackwell, 2007. Chapter 20 – A Cultural Approach to Male – Female Miscommunication(Daniel N. Maltz and Ruth A. Broker)