The Problem of Aging - Essay Example

Aging Aging is like sex; everyone talks about it as if it were only discovered yesterday. The fact is, it is a unique experience for each person and our culture dictates how well we age by defining it in terms of the image of youth being retained or reconstructed. But what of aging gracefully In the past fifteen years of my life I have learned that while I wish I still had the body of my youth, I am happy to have my mind and wisdom intact. I have patterned myself after people I admire for most of my life and when I discovered that people younger than me looked up to me in the same way I looked up to the special older people of my life, I felt a sense of arrival at something. I felt as if I had completed a journey. As I've become older, I've noticed still older people than me who maintain a real sense of dignity in their persona; having not known them when they were younger, I don't know how they were in their youth, but I think that aging gracefully is a sign of character rather than a look or the number of gray hairs one has (or a bald head, for that matter!). I decided long ago that I wanted to age gracefully. Living in England helped an enormous amount with that; there is nowhere else one can learn to age gracefully. Watching the older people still active about their farms and pubs and shops lifted my spirits. I knew that I wanted to be like them when it was my turn. Meeting retired professors who were happy to share their knowledge yet still had an active curiosity inspired me to vow to never lose my sense of exploration and adventure. There are no two ways about it, we live in a fast-moving, disposable society. Aging is not accounted for in one's life and heaven help us if we become disabled or sick or lose our mental faculties. I am not counting those circumstances in this essay, other than to say that I've seen people in nursing homes and assisted living homes that have dignity and are intelligent even if they can't remember eating the meal that was just cleared from the table a half hour ago. Those people are treated with more respect and genuine affection than the ones who whine and cry and long for their youth and do nothing but feel sorry for themselves. As I get older, I realize how important it is to see what is happening in the world, to go for walks in my neighborhood and take in the teeming life around me. While I am still middle-aged, I can feel the stiffness creeping into my bones and a good stretch is a turn in the right direction. I don't want to go for a walk because I need the exercise for medical reasons. I don't want to have to do anything, but most likely I will, and I hope to accept it with the grace of those who have gone before me. I remember a time in my doctor's office when I was in my 20's; an elderly man was being told by my doctor that he was going to have to use a cane. He didn't immediately respond to the news, but the doctor told him that they were making wonderful canes these days, and he would be able to shop for just the right one and that he would look distinguished. That memory sticks in my head. If I ever have to use a cane, I hope I use it with style. Style is important at any age, but in aging it becomes more so; if anyone tries to dress too young they look like fools. I don't think someone is aging gracefully when they wear hip-hop clothes and they are in their late 40's. In watching my own behavior, I've learned that aging gracefully is truly a mark of character. It's not something one can fake. It's difficult to do, too. I've learned that I can't specifically focus on aging gracefully; I focus on being a better person today than I was yesterday. In my own opinion, aging gracefully is a state of mind rather than a physical thing. But when the state of mind is in harmony with the body, then the grace is there. It doesn't do any good to simply hold a certain posture in order to intentionally look dignified or graceful. The grace that I speak of comes from within, from continually probing my motives for doing or saying something. Less is expected of us as we age, yet more is demanded. Each generation seems to have its own way of aging; the Baby Boomers seem to be dealing with it extremely creatively, depending on their income levels and their substance. It is difficult to think about aging, mostly because of the restrictions I know it will impose, physically. But I hope that my mind is still active and that I can continue to discover new things and learn. I certainly won't be an impulse buyer of a chick-magnet sports car and try to impress people by going deeper into debt. That doesn't make any sense. But in my aging journey I hope to travel more, to learn of other cultures and ways of thinking. For me, travel is the best way to refresh myself and gain profound insights on my own American mind set. I also like to learn about history and how things came to be; this is one way of aging gracefully as well, especially when applied to oneself. We really can't move forward if we don't understand where we came from and what our values rest on. Values and ethics is important to me, but I long ago gave up trying to make them important to other people. They have their own and arguing makes me tired. My energy is best spent doing something else. This brings me to the focal point of this essay; time spent. Time is something we can never get back once we've spent it. Aging gracefully means knowing how to spend time well, rather like an investment. My own experience has been that if I am in conflict, or a state of anxiety over something I can't control, I am wasting my time. As we get older we become very conscious of the amount of time that goes by; it goes by much faster. We become aware of our own mortality. At middle age, I am aware of the limited amount of time that my body has to be able to engage in what I enjoy. When the time comes that I simply can't do it anymore, perhaps I can teach, to stay in it. I intend to stay within my physical limitations as much as possible without complaining about not being able to do something anymore. There is plenty more to do that doesn't require so much exertion and I intend to use my imagination. Aging gracefully is an entirely subjective thing. What is graceful to one person isn't to another, but the most important thing for me is that I feel good about myself as a person in spite of any problems aging may bring my way. Read More