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In one chapter, for example, Gray refers men as rubbers and women as waves; symbols that gives the reader an even deeper thought of what Gray is trying to present. In the way the book covers the concepts of men-women differentiation, there are similarities and some differences in the way we have covered similar concepts in class and in other sources. For example, Gray argues that men and women have different ways of scoring giving and receiving of love in a relationship. He argues that while men give high score points, women assigns a single point at an act of love at a time.
This is because men, according to Gray think of big acts, unlike women. He argues that both men and women keep scores of give and take in a relationship and whenever one of them realizes that he or she has given more than he or she has received, resentment begins. It is at this time that communication becomes critical in any relationship so as to bring sanity and balance (Wood 208). Men are obviously angered when they realize that women are underscoring their acts of love. However, this should not cause alarm because men should realize that women scoring methods are very different. . This is because women think that their men are always thinking about them and caring for them on regular basis.
Another concept that Gray advances is the way men and women react when it comes to stress. According to him, while many men withdraw to seek a solution to their problems, in their caves, women talk about their problems. When men retreat to their caves to find a solution, women do not understand them and a conflict may ensue. The act of retreating is significant for men because it enables them to come up with solutions or a new approach to the problems. Another difference that Gray tackles is a natural cycle of women, referred to as wave.
In the wave concept, women have ability to give other people. However, when they do so, they expect to receive back and if they do not receive, their wave crashes. When a woman wave crashes, she calls for attention, and listening to and understanding from those around her. Gray argues that when a woman is supported from this low point of crash, she can rise like a wave and be restored to her former status of loving and caring. The concepts discussed in this book can make a person a competent communicator in interpersonal and group setting.
This is because one gets to understand the dynamics of the behavioral patterns of the other person, especially of the opposite sex. When relating with men, one is able for example, to know his expectation of scores and for a woman one gets to know that score of acts do not matter. Moreover, if one is in a relationship, one gets to know that men and women are different (Wood 205). For example, women expect men to be caring at a regular basis. Therefore, a man will be able to understand her woman’s reactions if he
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