Self Abilities Reflection - Research Paper Example

? Self Reflection SELF REFLECTION Ability to Listen Effectively Recently, I was involved in a dispute between two groups s at my local high school where I work as a counselor. The two groups were rivals and had been participated in a heated argument at the school dance after one group had started a fight over who would get the lounge seats to themselves, causing the dance to be abandoned and destroying property. The school principal was aware of my skills as a youth counselor and invited me to mediate after she had given them their punishments. On meeting the group, I realized that they were not interested in talking to each other, which threatened to make my work impossible. However, I was successful in getting the message to them concerning the need to listen to each other by listening to them. I gave the two groups names, i.e. group X and group Y before taking the Ys out and asking them to wait outside. I then informed the Xs that while listening to the other group; they should lift up their hand for five seconds every time the other group said something that awoke an inner voice in them and made them want to react. I asked them to carry this out for the whole conversation with the Xs denied the chance of speaking to the Ys, affirm any understanding, or ask questions. The Xs were to remain silent, only raising their hand when their inner voice wanted to be heard. Next, I informed the Ys outside that they were required to speak to the Xs regarding an issue of interest, in this case any positive interactions they may have had in the earlier years of school. I gave them three minutes to talk, after which I invited the Ys back into the room and allowed them to talk for three minutes. After the three minutes had ended, I asked the Ys how they felt talking to the Xs and the emotions that they had felt. The answers that I got back included that they did not feel that their issues were taken into account; they had lost track of my train of thought since they were not listening, and did not understand the rationale behind raising their hand if they were not to talk. I noticed that they were staring out of the windows or passing notes between them, which was symptomatic of their bad feelings towards each other. During this period and listening to their answers, as well as reading their body language, I comprehended that the bad feelings existed between two members of the Xs and three of the Ys with the rest just following along. Social Service Work skills required An essential part of a social workers job includes mediating between parties that are under one’s care. In order to provide good counseling and service, one must have the ability of listening carefully and being attentive to detail (Battell, 2009). It also involves being able to pay attention to one’s reaction during the session since a social worker could disagree with what is said, such as seeming uninterested in part of the conversation. In this case, I was careful in keeping the students as involved as possible and avoiding any facial expressions even when some said some obnoxious things about the other. Another skill needed by a social worker is the ability of getting information from the listening period. The social worker will have to collect as much information as they can from a group that is not willing to part with the information (Battell, 2009). It is essential for an individual to be aware of the appropriate to ask in order to get the correct information, or even to change the question’s language to help the clients understand the question. The social worker should also be adept at using alternate tactics to get information that they want. In this case, I worked the two groups alternately with only one group having the floor and the other required to listen. It is also essential for a social worker to have non-verbal behavior that is conducive to the communications process. Social Service Work values and ethics required Ethical listening is concerned, not with the ability of the speaker to persuade, but with the listeners (Battell, 2009). It is probable to listen ethically to someone and not be accepting of their premise. Part of the ethical listening also includes listening to the speaker. If one is involved in other activities like using the phone or staring out the window, this may prevent one from listening even if it does not distract the speaker. Listening follows a protocol that is important to understand; it includes paying attention and being courteous. Listening to the conversation without tuning out, even when one does not agree with the speaker, may even change one’s position (Battell, 2009). Ethical listening could also strengthen the position held. In this case, I listened to the students even though some of the things they were saying were childish and, at times, insulting. I also switched off my phone and drew the curtains to limit distractions. Conclusion This situation taught me that most arguments and misunderstandings came from lack of effective communication. In addition, when people listen to each other without interrupting them, it becomes easier to see their point of view and argue against it effectively if necessary. The reaction of the listener during the session is also important since it gives the speaker an idea of how their information is being received. Wrong body language can be destructive in a conversation, especially if the speaker is sensitive. Facilitating Workshops I participated in a workshop on coming up with ways to improve the safety of children at a local neighborhood after several abductions had taken place on their way from school. As the facilitator, I had to ensure that the parents at the workshop were representative of the entire population in the community, which consisted of the working class and middle class citizens. The workshop started well with opening remarks by the head of the neighborhood watch group. However, the workshop’s unity wavered a little when one of the middle class participants accused some of the working class citizens of harboring the criminals, especially since the abductions seemed only to affect them and mot the working class. Despite my best attempts to make them view the situation as one that affected the neighborhood as a whole, the workshop did not achieve much by the time it was concluded with suspicion reigning. Social Service Work skills required Workshop facilitators are required to have a wide base of attitudes, skills, and knowledge. One key skill that they have to develop is the encouragement of learning and sharing. The facilitator should encourage communication that is two-way instead of using closed questions during the workshop (Nash, 2010). The facilitator should also ask good questions and listen actively, which encourages the communication to be open to feelings and ideas by ensuring that the participant feels understood and heard. Good questioning will aid the people attending the workshop to go beyond information provision as it makes them able to share views. This involves asking inquisitive questions, asking clarifying questions, and asking for feedback (Nash, 2010). In my case, while I was good at listening actively, I did notice that my questions did not rouse the required responses and did not evoke strong emotions and feelings. This affected the participants ability to share their ideas and feelings effectively. I was not able to ask probing questions, especially towards the working class since they were angry at being pulled into the abductions. A facilitator is also required to be a good at responding to group dynamics. To do this, the facilitator will have to cope with imbalances of power by encouraging those with differing professional and social backgrounds to learn as equals (Nash, 2010). They are also required to enable them to give each other feedback, as well as deal with criticism positively by finding ways for the participants to challenge beneficially each other. In addition, the facilitator must accept that it is impossible to please all the participants all the time, instead making sure that they share different experiences and learn. The facilitator will also have to deal with judgmental attitudes of the participants, as well as balance their participation. They should also facilitate dominant and quiet participation (Nash, 2010). In my case, I found it difficult to cope with power imbalances since those participants who had more social clout seemed to be monopolizing the workshop. I also found it difficult in getting the participants to challenge each other constructively; some issues became a little similar to battlegrounds and we had to move on without reaching a conclusion. Social Service Work values and ethics required As a facilitator, it is important to honor all the participants, accept the participants as they are and view them as special and unique individuals, as well as remind the participants that they are not limited in their participation (Nash, 2010). In addition, the facilitator must give all the participants personal options and choices during the workshop discussions, rather than giving them final answers, as well as supporting the concept that a participant is an expert on their personal issues. I was not able to validate effectively the feelings of the middle class participants since some of their claims were too inflammatory. The facilitator should also allow the participants to learn from personal familiarities, in addition to those of others, and ensure that no position is pushed on others arbitrarily. Facilitation must be based on self-determination, rooted in a belief of equality, as well as being a mutual learning model where the participants work, as one, to promote their wellbeing and increase understanding (Nash, 2010). The workshop must also be adaptable to the philosophy of the minority groups represented, as well as safe and simple for those all participants. The workshop must not have any room for power trips or big egos, as well as hatred, prejudice, or bigotry. All the participants are in the workshop by right with no regard to the issues on the path. The outcomes must not be pre-determined, and the participants need to be allowed to work to their goals at their own pace. I was not able to base the workshop on equality, or get rid of big egos since the class gap between the participants soon became obvious in their arguments and apportioning of blame. The facilitator must not behave in a manner that could be misconstrued by the participants as sexually suggestive, discriminatory, or harassing (Nash, 2010). If any of the participants does anything that alludes to any of these unethical practices regarding sexual conduct, the facilitator must ensure that the participant knows that it is not acceptable. The facilitator must do everything in their power to ensure that the workshop is carried out in a respectful, comfortable, and safe environment. This I was able to do satisfactorily. Conclusion I learnt a lot from facilitating this workshop, especially as far as making sure that the participants have a feeling of equality before the workshop kicked off. It would also have been a good idea to ask probing questions towards the working class participants; it was obvious that the middle class participants had strong reasons to believe some were involved. It would also have been helpful if I had facilitated a session where there were constructive arguments and challenges. References Battell, Chris. (2009). Effective listening. Alexandria : ASTD Press. Nash, Ron. (2010). The active workshop : practical strategies for facilitating professional learning. Corwin Press: Thousand Oaks, Calif. Read More