Review The Jerk - Book Report/Review Example

The book, ‘How to avoid falling in love with a jerk’ gives insights on what to follow and what not to. It has advice on how to find someone to live one’s life with and how to ensure that the bondage is strong filled with love and will lead to a healthy and meaningful marriage. Many people have tried dating at a point in their lives or another (Van, 2008). Some people are happy while others have been hurt many times. People date each other in search of the ‘real one’. Some find them in their journey while others do not.

The book offers advice and directions on how to find the suitable one for someone who has dated numerous times, but has not found the ‘real one’ yet. John divides his advice to three major parts that show the relationship between an individual’s heart and his head in his book. Caution needs to be taken when making decisions. John first talks about how to follow one’s heart desires while still taking care of their minds. When a person is in love, they tend to put their minds at ease. People ignore some of the obvious things just because they are in love and do not want to upset their partner by talking about the troubles they are facing.

For example, a partner might be cheating, but because the other partner has very strong feelings to them, they will not bring up the matter because they fear losing them (Van, 2008). In others, only one partner contributes into the relationship. This may be in form of finances and the reception of love that the other partner is offering. Loving someone who does not have the same mutual feelings will result in a painful separation. It is said that love is blind, and as the saying is phrased, it is true.

When someone is in love, all the logic seems to fade away from reality. Some people dream of being in love every day, and when a chance arises, they take up the opportunity. In such cases, individuals put logic and reality aside and live the life of a fairly tail and it is only sooner or later that they come to realize that they made a huge mistake. John advices that partners should first look into their compatibility potentials; their level of communication in the relationship, how their previous relationships were and what they learnt from them, their background and family issues since it is an issue in relationship and finally, they should look at each other’s conscience traits and all-round character (maturity).

John has created a model, the RAM (relationship attachment model) that is simple and very applicable to the daily lives of individuals. John advices couples to understand their love mates before committing to each other. Individuals have to know each other well, from their backgrounds, their families and important of all their compatibility. If individuals are not compatible with one another, then that relationship is definitely headed for the worst. and both will end up hurt (Van, 2008). Before entering into a relationship, people should have the skills required to build and maintain the relationship.

Many are the times that individuals say something to their partner that they do not mean or are not making clear sense. To avoid complications later, whatever is said from a partner to another should be meaningful. Individuals should be able to communicate with one another meaningfully so as avoid future complications. Both verbal and non verbal communication matters. Matters like trust should