Violation of the unwritten rules of appropriate social behavior - Research Paper Example

?[Your full February 12, Introduction According to Deutsch, Coleman and Marcus, “social norms guide behavioral expectancies about how people should behave toward each other” (521). What we call good mannerism, sociologists give it the name of social norms, and the violation of a social norm leads to embarrassment for the person who is trying to disobey the norm. This is something we are taught since our childhood through education, and is inculcated in our personalities even if not taught explicitly. There are some manners that our parents teach us; some are taught by teachers; and, still there are some that we come to know ourselves when we observe them around us. We do not walk on the wrong side of the pathway; we do not yell in the public place; we do not climb stairs when we are on elevators; we do not say good morning at night; we do not pick our noses in front of people; we do not walk backwards in public; we do not ask anybody to leave the seat for us in a bus; and, the list continues. We do not do so because all of these are social norms which we do not even consider violating because it has been inculcated within us that we are not supposed to violate the “rule” (Posner 365) or else we shall be called inhumane, illiterate and disapproved (Elster). “In any social system, norms are linked to culture in that violations become markers for talking about social standards” (Hechter 161). However, I was supposed to break two social norms of my choice and note people’s behavior toward my norm violation. I was also supposed to make a notice of my own feelings, behavior, and thoughts during the act, and to observe how people reacted to my behavior. Given below is an account of my experience. Norm Violation 1 Cut into the middle of a line by yourself: stay in line for at least 2 minutes. I planned to experience violating the social norm of cutting a queue right in the middle and watch people’s reaction. I went out on a sunny morning and headed toward the cinema hall to buy a ticket for a movie show. I had planned beforehand how I would bring my plan into action and I was mentally prepared for all kinds of severe reactions from any aggressive guy that I might have to confront in the queue. The thought was scary though. I had never ever got into a fight with a muscular man and I dreaded it. I was wishing that I encounter some very nice guys, but then again, what was the use of the acting then. I had to note down how bad or how cool people behaved toward by bad manners. I reached the place where the tickets were being sold. To my surprise, it was a long queue, much longer than what I had expected. Then, I realized that I had chosen to break the queue that was there for the latest movie which had been nominated as the best movie of the year too. But what could I do then. I had no time to make another plan and go through the process of mentally preparing myself all over again. So, I reached the queue. I found my heart beating at a faster pace than it usually beats! I know I was a bit puzzled, or frightened maybe. I am not the kind of a person who violates social norms usually. So I was a little scared. “When we commit a social error during a social interaction, we may feel embarrassed” (Berntson and Cacioppo 872). I went up to a young man who was, according to my precision, right in the middle of the queue. I stood near him for some moments, looking at him and his dress. I was trying to come up to the conclusion what way he would react to my cutting him and getting in front of him with the reason that I could not stay at the end of the long queue and that I had to cut him. I could well imagine how I would have behaved if I was in that guy’s position. I would have reacted very severely, and that was exactly what I was expecting from him too. I went up to him. I looked at him and he looked at me. Both of us exchanged some weird looks for about 5 seconds. That was awkward. I held his arm and pulled him two paces back so that I could get in front of him in the queue, and I did. I could feel his arm stretching. I wanted a sweet “excuse me” coming from him but what I heard was a loud “Hey! What are you doing, young man? Can’t you see I am standing here?” He held my arm and tried to push me out of the queue. People in the queue looked at us and were amazed. Nobody was expecting this. Just as he pushed me, I told him that I could not wait till the end of the queue, so I cut him up. A lame excuse, I knew. I saw the big frown on his forehead but he was keeping his nerves to the best level. He replied quite loud, “If we can wait in the queue, so can you. So, go at the back and join the queue. You are no landlord. How dare you cut me? Have I been waiting for an hour just to see others cutting me?” And he continued with whatever words he could think of, and I stayed silent, smiling at him. This was what made him even more furious. I looked around me and saw some other young boys, who were not part of the queue, approaching me. I thought it was time for some good punches on my face. An old man in the queue had this look on his face as if he was trying to say, “Son, get back. This is not how good people should behave.” As soon as those young guys came near me with fury, I jumped out of the queue, making them even more surprised. They thought I had got frightened and thus some of them started humiliating me for my cowardliness. However, before they could embarrass me more, I cleared up the situation and told them why I did so. Norm Violation 2 Shake the hands with everybody you come in contact with while walking through a public location for 5 min. The second norm I chose to violate was shaking the hands of everybody I saw during a walk at a public place. I was predicting that the results this time would be less dangerous as I was expecting people to get amused by my behavior rather than getting annoyed or furious. I selected a very congested public place and I knew that I was going to meet all strangers there. There was absolutely no chance that any of my friends would be there. I had decided that I would shake hands with people of all ages, and would then make a comparison of their reactions. I started off and the first person I saw was an old lady with a walking stick in her hand, coming toward me. Just when she was going to cross me, I said in a friendly tone, “Hello! Dear ma’am”, and extended my hand toward her. She got stunned. I do not know what made her stunned that much. That might be because of her age and also because I suddenly came out of nowhere to stun her. She rather seemed shocked than annoyed or amused. And she did not shake my hand in return! The start was awful indeed. The lady moved on with a strange look as if I had caught her committing some crime red-handed. I also saw a man looking at me with strange looks. I knew he was thinking that I was some kind of a pickpocket. Anyway, I moved on and met some children walking in a group. I stopped a kid of age around 8 and extended my hand. He looked at me with a big ‘no’ in his eyes, and ran away. Once again, I had not been welcomed. I felt as if people had totally refused to speak to or meet a stranger because of their fear about being harmed. I was sure that people took me as a mugger or a pickpocket because that kid went straight to his father and told him about me, and now his father was staring at me. I decided to move on and the next person I met was a young lady holding some flowers in her hand. It seemed as if she was waiting for somebody. I went up to her and gave her a cheerful “Hello!” she looked at me and very shyly, shook hands with me. She was more embarrassed than happy upon having a stranger shaking hands with her. She was waiting for some talk from me but was very surprised when I moved on as I did not care about anything else other than a mere hello. I was amused. Lastly, I saw a beggar sitting on one side of the pathway. He was already looking at me with hope that I was going to give him some bucks. I extended my hand toward him which he very eagerly shook with his rough hands. I tried to pull back my hand but he refused to let go of it and shook it hard. This time, he embarrassed me. At last, I had to search for some pennies into my pocket with the other hand. I handed them over to him and pulled my hand swiftly which he very eagerly freed. I saw him smiling at me. Conclusion Both the experiences of norm violation were very interesting yet embarrassing for me at the same time. It was quite annoying for other people my cutting the queue in the middle very obstinately. And it was annoying for me in the second case when I saw people shaking my hands with cold looks which did not seem very pleasing. What I gained from both the experiences was that people have stopped caring for others’ feelings and they quickly get annoyed when somebody tries to play a prank on them or tries to violate a social norm. People use standards of social norms either intentionally or unintentionally to make judgments about other people’s behaviors (Sunstein) as good or bad, right or wrong, justified or unjustified, and acceptable or unacceptable (Kring et al.). I learnt that social norms help people decide how they should behave socially so that they are accepted in social context (Fritsche). Works Cited Berntson, Gary G., and John T. Cacioppo. Handbook of Neuroscience for the Behavioral Sciences, Volume 2. USA: John Wiley and Sons, 2009. Deutsch, Morton, Coleman, Peter T., and Eric Colton Marcus. “Norm Violations.” The Handbook of Conflict Resolution: Theory and Practice. USA: John Wiley and Sons, 2006. Elster, Jon. “Social Norms and Economic Theory.” Journal of Economic Perspectives, 3.4 (1989): 99-117. Fritsche, Immo. “Account Strategies for the Violation of Social Norms: Integration and Extension of Sociological and Social Psychological Typologies.” Journal for the Theory of Social Behaviour, 32.4 (2002): 371-394. Hechter, Michael. “Norms as Cultural Productions.” Social Norms. Russell Sage Foundation, 2005. Kring, Ann, Johnson, Sherri, Davidson, Gerald C., and John M. Neale. “Violation of Social Norms.” Abnormal Psychology. USA: John Wiley and Sons, 2009. Posner, Richard A. “Social Norms and the Law: An Economic Approach.” The American Economic Review, 87.2 (1997): 365-369. Sunstein, Cass R. “Social Norms and Social Roles.” Columbia Law Review, 96.4 (1996): 903-968. Read More