Roommates Conflicts and Solutions - Essay Example

Roommates Conflicts and Solutions Introduction There are many of advices on how to successfully coexist with other people. This advice comes from all quarters including non-professional sources. A good example is the article by Burnseda (2010) which outlines the things that one should and should not do to live happily with their roommate in college. Some of the advice that he gives is right and can be supported by secondary research. There are several scholarly studies which support this ides as presented by Burnseda (2010). For instance, Lepper, Corpus & Iyengar (2005) carried out a study to identify the roles of both intrinsic and extrinsic motivations among young people and how these two are affected by age difference. Burnseda (2010) suggested that one of the best ways to avoid conflicts with a college roommate it to set rules which will be favorable for everyone. This idea is a valid one and works not only with college makes but with the wider human society. This observation is strengthened by the findings of Iyengar’s (2005) since they identified that young people are likely to have very differing tastes. These differing tastes can be a source of trouble for many people because of the differences. As a result, discussing them and identifying which is the best way forward is a way to ensure there is order in the room that is being shared. These findings support what the Burnseda’s (2010) article suggests. Although not directly, what Burnseda is saying in his article is that people are affected by the relationship they have with other people. In fact in one; he says that these relationships with roommates make a major contribution in the paragraph happiness or lack thereof of the students in the campus. Lepper, Corpus & Iyengar (2005) found that as children get into adolescence, they are likely to be affected by external factors which include the relationships they have with other people. In this regard, having more successful relationships in the campus is a major contribution to the success of these individuals. Erozkan’s (2013) study investigated 494 adolescent students who consisted of 226 females and 268 males. He tried to investigate the relationship between interpersonal communication skills and social self-efficacy. The study indicated a high correlation between interpersonal and communications skills and the social self efficacy of the students. For instance, it was found that students who had the best communication skills had the best social lives and was able to perform better. Burnseda’s (2010) article suggests that communication is indispensable to help the students to be able to avoid conflicting with each other. He suggested that students should not let things pile up but that if they have an issue, they should be able to communicate it as soon as possible. This is supported by Erozkan’s (2013) study as he suggested that communication was a vital aspect of managing conflicts. Like, Burnseda (2010), he found that students who were able to communicate well were more able to avoid conflicts and to easily resolve them if they did come up. Similarly, Egwunyenga (2000) carried out a study to identify the common causes of roommate conflicts in Nigerian universities. The results indicated that some of the most common issues that causes conflict between roommates it these rooms are issues like smoking inside the rooms. The participants also identified other issues such as gossiping, using roommate’s items with their permission, cooking in the room as some of the most unacceptable issues that they had to face with their roommates. The results in this study are interesting in a number of ways. First, they seem to support with Burnseda says in his article about the advice to live in peace with college roommates. In light of the above, most issues identified in the study as the major source of conflict were things which members living in the same room may not both like. In this case, these were things that one member of the room may like doing while the other(s) don’t like. When one is not interested or is negatively affected by another person’s idiosyncrasy, there is bound to be some conflict between the two. A good example is smoking. If one member in the room does not smoke, or rather hates cigarette smoke, this will mean smoking is unacceptable to him and that if the other person smokes, he will not be welcome in the situation. This is why smoking in the room was cited in this study as the most unacceptable behavior which is most likely to cause conflict among the students. These findings are in line with Burnseda study. For instance, he says that one of the most important thing it to have some compromise. While people may have a lot of things in common, the will always have one thing that differentiates them. These personal idiosyncrasies cause conflict among people, especially if they are sharing a very small and personal space. Another researcher who has carried out research in this area is Afifi (2003). He investigated the roles of privacy rules in stepfamilies. This study was intended to investigate how privacy issues in the family affect the family members; the study was carried out in the knowledge that members of a step family are more likely to have social tensions between them due to the unnatural relationships between them which are enmeshed with natural ones. The study was done by carrying out over thirty intensive interviews. Afifi (2003) found out that in families where the family had clearly-set privacy rules, there were likely to be less conflicts and tension among family members. This requires proper communication of the privacy rules in order to make sure that everyone privacy needs were taken care of. Where there were no clearly set privacy rules, tensions and conflicts were most likely to set in. The findings of this study support what Burnseda said in the article about how to live with roommates in college. For instance, Burnseda says that setting rules can help in making sure that everyone’s needs are well met. By looking at this the findings of this study, one realizes that Burnseda was not wrong in his supposition that making rules and regulation in the room would help in minimizing conflicts between roommates. The other issue that Burnseda (2010), points out is the issue of using social media profiles as a ways to know one’s roommate. As he suggests, it is better to call them up and speak to the in phone rather than looking at their social media profile to decide what their personalities are. According to Donegan (2012), cyber bullying is a major issue in the modern world. He identifies that very many people have to suffer cyber bullying. In this study, Donegan (2012) identified a number of factors that affect cyber bullying in a modern world. The study was done by investigating primary data on how bullying has evolved over the years. According to the study, more people do not like to be stalked online such as browsing through their social media profiles. The study identified that this in many cases amounts to violation of privacy and that it can leads to conflict. As a result, this study supports what Burnseda (2010) is saying about social media profile. In light of this, it is indispensable to have a more personal contract with the individual so as to know them in a personal way than to just stalk them on their online social media profiles. References Afifi, T. (2003). Feeling caught’ in stepfamilies: Managing boundary turbulence through appropriate communication privacy rules. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 20 (729), 730-755. Burnseda, D. (2010, August 13). 5 Tips to Getting Along With Your Roommate. Retrieved March 26, 2014, from US Education News: www.usnews.com/education/articles/2010/08/13/5-tips-to-getting-along-with-your-roommate?page=2 Donegan, R. (2012). Bullying and Cyberbullying: History, Statistics, Law, Prevention and Analysis. The Elon Journal of Undergraduate Research in Communications, 3, (1), 33-40. Egwunyenga, E. (2000). Room-Mates Conflicts in Nigerian Universities: Causes and Management Strategies. Journal of Human Ecology, 27(2), 123-127. Erozkan, S. (2013). The Effect of Communication Skills and Interpersonal Problem Solving Skills on Social Self-Efficacy. Educational Sciences: Theory & Practice, 13(2), 739-745. Lepper, M. C. (2005). Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivational Orientations in the Classroom:. Journal of Educational Psychology, 97 (2), 184–196. Read More