The Social Role Theory - Essay Example

Topic: Lecturer: Presentation: Introduction To work or to stay at home after having children? This is a debate that has been ongoing for a long time ad no solution has been found yet since views are many and as divergent as the population. If you ask traditionalists they will tell you that the place of women is in the kitchen and should leave the work of providing for the families to their husbands. However, if you ask contemporary societies they will tell you that the days for women’s role to be relegated to the kitchen is long over and that women deserve equal opportunities as men to work with equal pay. Furthermore, research shows that in the United States the most common family type is the dual-earner family (Lemaster et al. 62). It also shows that over half of the US workforce is women and that over half of them are mothers. Still this does not prove anything as it does not tell us which is better; working or staying at home? The social role theory tells us that women have a motherhood mandate thus being a mother assumes first identity whereas working role takes secondary identity. The question we need to ask ourselves is whether these women are happy performing this role or would rather pursue their careers. Besides, people have different personalities thus being a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) is not for everyone (Chapman, 535). Both roles have their advantages and disadvantages but in this paper I am going to emphasize that being a working mother is preferable than being a SAHM. Working women are assumed not to be good mothers not forgetting the extra burden of multi-tasking while SAHM are assumed to be good mothers; caring, loving and nurturing. What makes the difference? This would only be explained by the use of perceptions and stereotypes held by people and which do not reflect real life experiences. Working mothers are also successful parents, happier, healthier and balanced than SAHM as this paper is going to show. The society expects women who are communal and feminine in nature to stay at home caring for their children while their husbands provide for them (Chapman, 534). This is good because the children are well cared for full-time by the mother without depending on the expensive childcare services. The question is what happens if the man loses the job in a contemporary society where everything depends on money? What happens in the case of a divorce, separation or death of spouse? The mortgage still needs to be repaid; children need to pay school fees and the family needs to eat. This is a very difficult situation for a SAHM since she does not have any other source of income and the extended family may not be supportive in these times of economic crisis. The SAHM in this case would not be able to take care of the family even if she is willing to thus she would be regarded as a bad mother. You would thus agree with me that being a working mother is vital to prevent such occurrences. Working mothers have financial security thus do not have a lot of stress like SAHM. Whatever eventuality, they can be able to move on with their lives and take care of the family as they do not depend much on the husband thus become good mothers. We often hear of increasing cases of violence against women but do we ever ask ourselves why they occur especially among the blacks and immigrants. Research shows that one of the causes of domestic violence is economic dependence. Traditional societies taught women to depend on men for survival thus stay at home caring for their families (Chapman, 534). Men like exercising their power and dominance over women and this is especially so if the woman depends on him for all her needs. A friend of mine was in a very abusive marriage but she could not leave. When I enquired why she insists on staying in such marriage she said she has no other means of survival and she came from a distant land thus could not return to her family. This is one of the problems a working woman can easily avoid. If you have your own source of income you can always seek a divorce and not worry about taking care of children. This would save the children the problem of developing trauma and becoming aggressive in future and also saves the mother from depression, physical injury and poor health. Besides, if the man is not suffering from mental illnesses he would think twice before abusing the woman since he knows the consequences. A woman thus has emotional security. Some women prefer to stay at home and care for their children since they regard themselves as ideal mothers or want to share a lot of time with the children. This is a good undertaking and makes the mother feel accomplished but what happens when the children go to school or when they grow up and leave home? Once the child goes to school in the morning and returns in the evening the mother is alone the whole day leading to boredom. Sure there are many tasks to do but the reason the woman is at home is to be a good mother but now the children are not home. Why not use this time doing work that will bring more income to the family or take up part-time job? Furthermore, these more are at higher risk of developing what Lemaster et al. calls “empty nest” syndrome when the children leave home (76). Returning to work at this stage is difficult for SAHM since their resumes have gaps which turn off potential employers. How do men feel about their wives working or staying at home? This is crucial in ascertaining whether SAHM is more preferable than working or vice versa. Though women normally are supposed to stay home and care for their families the economic situation has changed over the years and now men appreciate the help of their wives. Most households now comprise dual-earners as opposed to single earner (Lemaster et al. 62). This only means that men prefer working women than those who stay at home. Besides, working has these days become the norm and is a sign of a woman’s professional accomplishment (76). Women join leisure clubs where they discuss many issues as opposed to just talking about children ad thus develop each other. Those who stay at home are seen as unlearned or failures since not many people understand why they are at home. From experience I have also learnt that children are proud of their working mothers. Women can still go to work and find time to mingle with their families without sacrificing their careers. Besides, men have also learnt to help their wives to perform chores; work is shared and this lessens the burden on women. The work performed by women at home is considered of no value as it does not add to the national income hence is degraded even though it is very exhausting and stressful. Imagine your husband asking you what you have been doing the whole day when on your side you feel so exhausted. This is because the work women do at home is unnoticeable and not valued. It is therefore, better to engage in paid employment to enhance your status and be valued as a useful member of society. Conclusion Based on societal perceptions and stereotypes, the role of women is to stay at home and care for the family but in reality this is not so. A woman should not sacrifice her flourishing career to stay at home for the sake of children since research has shown that even children of working parents grow to be successful adults. The man needs a wives contribution to the family finances in order to bring up a happy and healthy family. Besides, overreliance on men for financial support can lead to undesired consequences such as domestic violence and not being able to support the family in case of job loss, divorce or death. Working women live a happy and balanced life free of stress and depression especially if they are able to have work-life balance. Furthermore, working women have prestige as they are considered useful members of society due to their contribution to the national economy. Women can be good mothers and the same time progress their careers and as such the notion that “a woman’s place is in the home” should be done away with. Studies speak for themselves: the most common family type in US is dual –earner with over half of the workforce comprising women especially mothers. References Chapman, Roger (ed). Culture Wars: An Encyclopedia of Issues, Viewpoints and Voices. Armonk, NY: M.E Sharpe, Inc, 2010. Lemaster, J., Marcus-Newhall, A., Casad, B.J and Silverman, N. Life Experiences of Working and Stay at Home Mothers. In: J.L Chin (ed). The Psychology of Prejudice and Discrimination: Bias Based on Gender and Sexual Orientation. Westport, CT: Praeger, 2004. Read More