Sweethearts For A Lifetime Critique - Book Report/Review Example

Sweethearts For a Lifetime By Wayne A. Mack and Carol Mack 2009 Sweethearts for a Lifetime: Making the Most of Your Marriage by Wayne A. Mack and Carol Mack is a practical guide based on Bible for those who are eager to remain sweethearts for the entire life. Biblical counselors Carol and Josh Mack teach how to apply Bible in everyday life of a married couple. The authors of Sweethearts define the book as much needed, practical and clear biblical instruction providing tools to grow in marriage. The book is deemed both for people who are married for decades and for newly married couples who want to preserve their tender relationship for years of their married lives. Josh Mack as a biblical counselor with forty-nine years in marriage has observed many marriages both good and horrible and noticed that only few families ‘remain real sweethearts throughout their entire life.’ (p.22) The book addresses families who lost their affection or tender relationship and require ‘biblically directed assistance.’ It is written to read and apply which is lucid from the very structure of book which contains chapters and Application and Discussion sections which are aimed at daily application and exercising by a couple. The book consists of chapters describing Six Ps of a good relationship and two more chapters devoted to the topic of a fulfilled and fulfilling husband and wife. The general idea of Sweethearts for a Lifetime is focused around the Biblical knowledge. Authors emphasize that all-knowing God is the Author of the marriage relationship and with His help spouses can be ‘sweethearts for a lifetime’. Marriage, as the God’s idea, was meant to enhance and enrich people lives and it is a covenant which applies certain level of commitment to the partners chosen for a life according to Bible. The authors try to prove that happiness in marriage is possible only through submission of God’s regulations while disobeying to the God is foolishness. Divorce is viewed as a result of inability to follow the ‘Gods blueprint for marriage because people construct their marriage relationship as they see it, not as God made it. The Macks introduce six Ps of ‘Gods blueprint for marriage defined as the purposes of God for the marriage relationship. These are Priority, Purity, Perspiration, Permanence and Preeminence of Christ in the marriage relationships. Referring to Bible scripture the Macks define the principles which govern purposes of ‘Gods blueprint for marriage. First of all, wife is meant to be a husband’s companion. Inability to be friends in marriage results in inability to construct deep and lasting companionship/intimacy. The second purpose is ‘to have and raise children properly.’ (p.29) The third tells about the power of collaboration is marriage. Spouses should be colaborers who are involved in the activities of each other. Fourth purpose is ‘commitment to exalt, and serve the Christ and build up his Church in the marriage. (p.41) Viewing a husband as Christ and a wife as believers is going to contribute to proper relations between spouses. Mack calls wives to ‘submit to their husbands as to the Lord’ (p.42) as marriage is a means to exalt and honor Christ or ‘put of reverence to Christ.’ This reverence should be displayed through church attending and ‘involvement in church activities.’ At the end of each chapter there are tests or assignments, for example, test for parenting or assignment to make up the list of work and home projects done together in the past as well as the list of projects to be done in the future. These help not only to perceive the information provided in the book but to apply it in everyday life. Mack also stresses on ‘comprehensive oneness in the relationship’ which is miscomprehended by many families. Oneness is not domination or a duplication of each other’s personality or uniformity of views, priorities or habits. Oneness is union of two complete people - ‘two wholes, not two halves.’ Oneness requires two complete people who are partners in everything. This means that each of the couple has complete access to every area of the partner’s life. Spouse’s life has neither locks, nor closets. Unique personalities should make up one harmonious whole retaining their individuality like it is evident in Trinity. Oneness is about sharing ideas, thoughts and opinions as well as wiliness to learn from the other person or be influenced by other. The author uses illustrative examples comparing a couple to a purple sweater or to orchestra where each instrument plays its part to blend with other in perfect harmony. This approach is very efficient as vivid illustrations help the reader to memorize information better and construct a positive image of a family relationship. The authors also emphasize on the importance of physical and sexual realms of marriage. Each of the couple should concern for other person’s health and can count for assistance in case of health difficulties. Standing together in the time of trial means that both partners can count for support, sympathy, advise, help and encouragement in any situation. Mack tells also of sexual availability and understanding of each other needs. Unity should be evident also in goals and aspirations. Unity of interest guarantees that separate lives of a husband and a wife will be united into one where pleasures, perplexities or trials are shared. Keeping interest in each other’s affairs makes daily personal lives of two people one life, not two. No secrets, no friends, no joy or sorrow which is not common means to be “one flesh.” Authors of Sweethearts for a Lifetime touch one more important aspect of marriage such as interfamily relationships. This is really an issue which is often blamed for spoiling relations between spouses. Referring to Scripture authors prove that leaving parents’ home one expresses determination to make one’s mate the most important person in one’s life. Marrying people get new parents or parents of their mates who are to be respected the same way as their own. At the same time parents should not be allowed to demean the mate of their son or daughter. It sets rules for spouses regulating their behavior in the family they stem from. One shouldn’t complain to parents about the spouse as it makes difficult for parents treat their child’s mate lovingly as they should. One also needs to avoid negative discussions with parents about the mate and extol mate’s virtues when there’s a fair ground to do it. In-laws should be accepted into the family of their mates which means inclusion them in family discussions and activities, not ignoring them in conversation. Sweethearts for a Lifetime also tells of how to be a fulfilled and fulfilling husband or wife. A husband has ‘to be a really good lover for his wife’ as well as leader, and learner. A wife is meant to be husband’s helper, friend, colaborer, challenger, counselor and crown or a ‘personal cheerleader’ who supports her husband in everything. The authors tell about the power of encouragement, support and submission which is viewed in totally different light. It is not about inferiority of women or intellectual stagnation or being assertive. The authors explain that: “A wife who is submissive to her husband is one who recognizes the need for functional order in the home and is willing to follow Gods plan for attaining that order through the leadership of her husband” (p.231) Throughout the whole book, authors try to prove that relationship with a spouse is ‘primary, fundamental relationship in his or her life’ which is actually the will of the God. The book comprises different aspect of married life from relationship between a husband and a wife and the intimate moments of marriage to relations between families of mates and parents-children relationship. Sweethearts for a Lifetime is helpful in many ways. It thoroughly explores of what is to be “one flesh,” how to be a fulfilling and fulfilled husband or wife and how to keep marriage vehicle going. The authors are generous in their figurative explanation drawn both from Bible and real life. The illustrative examples make it a real powerful practical tool to start positive changes in one’s marriage. The book is interesting to read, and helpful in many ways. References Mack, Wayne A. and Carol Mack, Sweethearts for a Lifetime: Making the Most of Your Marriage. P&R Publishing, 2006 Read More