Bullying and Pressure in Children and Adolescents: The Role of Resiliency - Term Paper Example

? Bullying and Pressure in Children and Adolescents: The Role of Resiliency Full I. Introduction Bullying and pressure on children and adolescents are becoming serious social issues in modern America because of the ever increasing number of cases as well as the changing demands of the environment. First, bullying and pressures engender a lot of psychological and emotional stress in victims and some of the injured tend to develop into bullies. Such evolution often occurs as a defense mechanism of the pushover in order to survive the bullying he experiences. However, the victim, as he becomes an oppressor himself, causes more problems and increases the number of cases of bullying. Some preys contemplate how they could take revenge against their tormenters and, this case leads to more serious problems such as shootings in school. School shootings seem to become more frequent these days and some of those involved confessed to have done the shooting in retaliation to those who bullied them. This is perhaps the worst case scenario on the effects of bullying but, committing suicide perhaps cannot be considered better. Victims who are not resilient to the pressures they encounter have the tendency of committing suicide thinking that it is their only escape. Such incidents cause alarm not only on parents and school officials but on the police as well. This is the reason why serious considerations and prevention plans should be made to minimize if not, eliminate the cases of bullying and their consequences. This paper looks deeper into what bullying is, who are the people involved, the signs of bullying and the effects on both the victim and the injurer. The purpose of the paper is to investigate the role of resiliency on how victims cope with bullying therefore, family relationships will be tackled as well. Moreover, the contributions of public officials to strengthen parents’ roles in the case will also be included. II. Bullying Defined In order to understand bullying, it is perhaps best to look not only at what it is all about but also on what it is not. According to Rana Sampson, bullying has two components, namely, “repeated harmful acts and imbalance of power”. She further says that it involves “repeated physical, verbal, or psychological attacks or intimidation directed against a victim who cannot properly defend him/herself”. Some examples of the aforementioned could be assault, tripping, intimidation, rumor-spreading and isolation, demands for money, destruction of property, theft, destruction of another’s work and name-calling”. However, Sampson claims that not all cases are considered bullying. The incident is different when the people involved are of the same strength, whether physically or psychologically. This case is considered fighting or quarrelling and not to be categorized as bullying. From the components of bullying mentioned above, for a case to be considered bullying, the act must be repeatedly done and is harmful on another person (Sampson; Underwood, Scott & Springer). Secondly, there should also be an imbalance of power just like in the case of a bigger child bullying a smaller or younger kid, a stronger person attacking a weaker individual or a group of children harming a loner. Oftentimes, victims are far smaller and weaker than their persecutors. According to Underwood and his colleagues, there are often three groups of people involved in bullying. First, there is the bully who is often larger and stronger either physically or psychologically. Sampson thinks that bullies are not ‘insecure’ as opposed to what was popularly known. Rather, the author finds them to “have not much empathy on their victims” (2002). Bullies are observed to have experienced bullying from their own parents or have witnessed them fight in their homes. Naturally, what they see from their first models is reflected through how they socialize with their peers. Domineering persons whose disagreeable actions are not corrected early on continue being bullies to their adolescence or even to their adult lives. The process continues as the culprit grows to an adolescent bully, then a parent who bullies his/her children. Without intervention, bullying is passed from generation to generation like a genetic disease. Thus, it is shown that the home has an important role to play in the making of bullies. The home will be examined again later when we discuss the role of the family in training children to become resilient. Secondly, there are the victims of bullying. As opposed to the bully, the victims are smaller in size and weaker either physically or psychologically, often considered as sitting ducks or pushovers. The only physical evidence researches show to be correlated to bullying is the size and strength of the victim. Researches do not give strong evidence linking skin color, language, weight, hygiene, posture or mental, physical and speech difficulties to bullying (Sampson). However, other factors such as being a loner can make a person more vulnerable. Poor social skills can lead to having no friends and exaggerate the vulnerability of a victim. It has been found out that weak and small children have lesser tendencies of becoming the butt of bullies when they have friends who are able to defend and protect them. It has also been found out that both bullies and victims have higher records among boys than girls (Smith & Sharp). While studies also show that female bullies victimize females in most cases, males bully both male and female (Sampson; Underwood, Scott & Springer). Thirdly, there are the so-called bully bystanders. They play an important role in bullying because they could either thwart or encourage bullies. Since bullying sometimes occur in the presence of other children, it is important to look into the role of the witnesses. Most often, the bully bystanders will not report the incidents they witness because of fear that they might become the next victims or they could have been verbally threatened by the intimidator. Moreover, they may also fear that no one will believe them or that more conflicts will occur. Consequently, they suffer the effects of bullying indirectly because they would be feeling guilty about what they have witnessed. Bully bystanders are in the position to help the victims but they fear for their own safety so that they choose to remain silent. This results to feelings of guilt and the situation increases the risk of mental health problems on the bully bystanders (Sampson; Underwood, Scott & Springer). III. Signs to Look Out for if Your Child is Being Bullied Parents are the most instrumental people in determining if their children are being bullied because they are the ones who know their children well. Parents should then be observant about their children because if they become victims of bullying, they are the primary sources of help to the kids. As such, they should know the characteristics of their children, their habits, hobbies and other important details. It is essential for parents to be aware of these because they can detect that something is wrong with their children when there are sudden changes in them. For instance, Underwood and his colleagues cited the example of Thomas, who was once a popular kid, active in school and in the community. When he was in the fifth grade, there have been drastic changes in his activities, staying at home more and sneaking in food to his room instead of playing outside with his peers. Thinking that he was going through adolescent changes, the parents never investigated about their child until the father witnessed how Thomas was being bullied in the neighborhood. The father then talked with the child and found out that the bullying has been going on for months. Thus, Underwood and his colleagues suggest that the most noted signs of bullying are changes in the activities and outlook of children. When a once active and happy child suddenly stops playing with other children and would prefer staying at home alone, parents should take a hint. When this happens at a time when the child is expected to have changes such as during the transition period from childhood to adolescence, parents should have the wisdom to look more closely at the changes rather than simply assume that the changes are normal. IV. Effects of Bullying on Children Victims of bullying perhaps suffer the most in the incident. Whether the bullying is physical or psychological, victims suffer the process psychologically. When a child is physically abused, the consequences are experienced both in the physical and psychological spheres. First, there would be the feeling of intimidation and the child will begin to fear his injurer. Then when things get worse, the child can become afraid of going to school or going out of his comfort zone, the home or his room. This brings the child to a sense of loneliness which, when not intervened, can lead to suicide. Contemplations of suicide often happen when a person isolates himself and when he thinks that there is no one to help him or, that no one can change his situation. There is a sense of helplessness and hopelessness that motivates the child to think that the only solution to his problem is death. “Studies of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in 2011 show that 6.6% of bully victims were more likely to report considering suicide compared to children who bullied nor became victims” (Sampson, 2002; Underwood, Scott & Springer, 2011). This shows that there is a significant effect of being victims of bullying on the suicide rates among children and adolescents. Another equally disturbing effect of bullying is the making of a mass murderer. Shootings in schools wherein a number of children are killed seem to be increasing and becoming more frequent these days. Some of such incidents wherein the shooter survived noted that the reason behind the shooting is revenge toward the people who bullied him (Sampson). Although there might be other factors that have driven the person to commit the crime, bullying is one thing that has to be seriously considered as a driving force in the criminal act. Victims often want to retaliate but they also understand that they cannot face their tormentors face to face. Thereupon, they devise plans to harm their bullies when they least expect it and in a manner that they never thought would be possible for the victim to resort to. V. How to Prevent Bullying With the extremely serious consequences of bullying presented above, precautionary measures should be employed in order to prevent bullying. Since most incidents of bullying have been found to happen more inside the school campus than on the way to school; school administrators and faculty members should become more involved in the prevention of bullying. Smith and Sharp (134) suggest that close supervision from adults should be conducted when children have playground activities. This is because there have been more incidents of bullying in these short playground activities as shown by reports and observations. The presence of an adult somehow will make bullies behave better, knowing that their actions will receive necessary disciplinary actions imposed by the school. However, with the increasing freedom given to children nowadays, they seem to be unafraid of some adults. Therefore, it is also important that adults who supervise the kids should be trained and acknowledged by the school and students to be in a position to take charge whenever there are misbehaviors on the playground. Another way of preventing bullying that Smith and Sharp suggest is improving the social skills of children. The researchers believe that when the children know how to deal with other people, bullying can be prevented. Indeed, incidents of putting pressure on other children can come from the fact that a person is not only larger and stronger than other children but because one does not know how to communicate in a well-mannered way such as expressing one’s desires verbally. As mentioned above, children who have been hurt or who have witnessed physical injuries tend to inflict pain on others, repeating the abuse if only to compensate their feelings of grief, whether they are aware of this psychological problem or not. In this case, teaching social skills obviously is very helpful to children for them to know how to deal with the struggles they meet in life. Social skills training will also help children to have more friends which can lessen their vulnerability of becoming bully victims. In addition, it is important for school administrators and parents to give moral support to their children, educate them about bullying and encourage them to report incidents if they are bullied or become witnesses of bullying incidents. It is understood that bullies threaten their victims so that they will not be apprehended by school authorities or parents. However, this makes bullies more active and confident in antagonizing others. Therefore, it is important to let children understand their roles and accountability when they do not report bullying incidents. Victims should also be informed that their silence could mean more bullying victims because they will be encouraging their offenders to harm more people. They should be helped to understand that when they show their oppressors that they are not able to do anything about their situation, they are allowing themselves to become more vulnerable. However, when they inform people in authority who are able to help them, the problem can be resolved and both the victim and bully will be given the right intervention that can help them cope with whatever struggles they go through. Victims and witnesses should be assured that instead of the perceived danger they will go through when they report incidents of bullying, there will be positive interventions that will help the people involved in bullying. This will lessen the fear of reporting such incidents. As mentioned earlier, reporting incidents of bullying could prevent repeated actions. However, it could not be denied that both school administrators and parents find it difficult to encourage victims and bully bystanders to report incidents. Therefore, strategies such as setting up a hotline are recommended by Sampson. A drop box can be made available for students to put in their written reports of being victims or witnesses to bullying. This will protect the reporter’s anonymity which is often the primary problem of those who are afraid to bring out such issues openly. With this approach, bullies will become more afraid and restrained in bullying compared to when there are no encouragements to reporting incidents. Other suggestions are for schools to develop activities in less supervised areas and minimize the students’ time in the said areas. The school can also send classes on different break times for a more effective monitoring of bullying incidents (Sampson). Sampson also suggests that the school principal should enlist his commitment and involvement in preventing bullying inside the school. Moreover, the writer believes that there should be a multifaceted and comprehensive approach to the problem, considering many aspects of the incidents. A solution that focuses on only one aspect of the problem is likely to fail. For instance, planning with teachers alone is a weak solution to the problem because teachers cannot always be available to look after the children. Instead, the school administration should involve all possible participants who can contribute to a workable plan. Aside from the teachers who can directly watch student activities inside the school, parents should also be involved in the solution. As Sampson suggests, they should be informed and educated about the problem so that they will be able to successfully determine if their children are being victims of bullying or if they are bullies. In either case, parents should know how to intervene and help the bully child or the victim. The “whole school” (Sampson) approach is a tested preventive measure in school bullying incidents and is suggested to be an effective tool. This includes the involvement and commitment of the principal as well as the teachers and parents. The countries wherein the approach was tested showed agreeable results so that it is a good proposition to implement, especially in elementary schools because of the smaller number of students and the design of the approach which is more applicable in the elementary level. VI. Bullying and Resiliency Even though school officials and parents will do everything they can to prevent their children from being bullied, the fact remains that parents, teachers and police officers cannot always be there to guard the children. There will still be those who are able to inflict harm on other people at unguarded times and places. Therefore, perhaps the best way for parents is to really become very involved in the development of the psychological and emotional strengths of their children. When children are emotionally and psychologically strong, they can be expected to know how to react in the presence of bullies. They can be able to be resilient enough to cope with the situation and avoid harmful psychological effects on their parts. According to Kids Helpline (2009), resiliency is the “person’s ability to cope with stressful circumstances and/ or issues such as poverty, family conflict, violence, divorce, failures, trauma, death of a loved one” and other depressing circumstances. Such situations could affect a person psychologically. Sometimes, a psychologically and emotionally weak person is not able to cope with the demands of the aforementioned impediments. Therefore, parents should take active involvement in fortifying the psychological and emotional strengths of their children in order for them to be able to adjust to the changes or pressures which circumstances such as bullying bring about. Furthermore, resilience is described not only as the ability to overcome but to thrive. Consequently, the importance of resiliency is not only applicable to incidents of bullying but to all kinds of pressures in life. Some children may not experience being bullied in their entire life but no one is exempted from experiencing adversities such as death of a loved one, financial struggles or social problems. Thereupon, whether or not a child is prone to being bullied, resiliency should be developed in him. First and foremost, experts suggest that a positive atmosphere should be created inside the home. Children should be given assurance of the parents’ love, care and concern. This will set the minds of children that whatever struggles they go through; there will always be someone who is ready to understand and help them. As much as possible, the home should be made as a place of comfort. Experts suggest that trauma should be avoided inside the home because such will affect the mental health of children (Firestone). Instead, kids should always feel that their home is a place of refuge where they can always be accepted, understood and loved. “When kids feel consistently accepted for who they are, they are more able to cope with stress and adversity” (Firestone). This is perhaps because indirectly, parents are teaching their children to understand that people have differences. Therefore, the tendency that they manifest when they encounter bullies is to understand that they are entirely different from them. They will not feel intimidated or oppressed because they know that they are loved and accepted by their families even though others have different opinions about them. On the contrary, as mentioned earlier, children who are exposed to bullying or trauma at home, become child bullies who evolve to be adolescent bullies who can further become parents who bully their own children. That is, if they are not corrected and will not change. For psychologists, this is considered the effect of nurture. How children are treated at home will reflect how they will treat others, react to them and the circumstances they face. Some psychologists may argue that there are certain innate characteristics of individuals which make them prone to becoming bullies, called nature (Lines). Considering such to be true, those innate behaviors perhaps could be overcome by good examples so it would yet be best to deaden or retard the disagreeable inclinations of children instead of strengthening them by showing corrupt examples. Another suggestion presented by Dr. Lisa Firestone is for parents to inspire positive emotions. She says that humor is an important factor in creating a wonderful atmosphere in the home and hence, should be encouraged. Children should be taught to find humor behind every difficulty so that they will not be too much burdened about them when they experience adversities as individuals. This does not mean that parents should teach the children to not take problems seriously but to focus on the brighter side of things rather than to choose to become gloomy over negative situations. In every struggle, children should be shown that there are always solutions found somewhere so, instead of acting like it is the end of the world, they should rather have a positive outlook, knowing that there is an abundance of hope in life. When parents have such positive emotions and reactions, they do not only influence their children but they also present themselves as good models. Providing a good social support is also seen as an important help for children in building resiliency (Firestone). Parents should not become overprotective toward their children that they avoid them to find friends. Instead, they should encourage them to socialize with more people and build strong friendships with them. The role of parents in finding friends for their children is to assist them on how to find good friends who will be able to influence them positively. This could be done by bonding with the families of their own friends. This assures parents that their children are in good company when they know the family backgrounds of the people surrounding them. This is also important to consider because parents have to face it, they cannot always make their children tell them every detail of their lives. Sometimes, kids are able to open more easily to their friends. Therefore, it is essential that parents should have good background information about who their children’s friends are so that they can have some sort of idea about who are influencing their children. This will also lessen the incidents of bullying as compared to when children find their own friends without any assistance. Moreover, they will be taught to choose the people they deal with. Cultivating areas of interest is also an effective way of boosting children’s confidence in themselves, and consequently, their social skills and resiliency. Developing social skills should not be imposed as a role of the school alone but should be a responsibility of parents as well. As discussed earlier, the school can contribute to this area in the child’s development however; parents should be more involved because they are better acquainted with their children. For example, they recognize the interests of their children and therefore, they can discern the necessary steps they should take. When children have something to be busy with, they can be helped in many ways. For the child with tendencies of becoming a bully, sports can be helpful because he can learn principles of teamwork and healthy competition. Such activities can also become outlets of a child’s excess energy which may result to bullying if not well-directed. In engaging the child to a purposeful and productive activity, he is also taught that there are good ways to spend one’s time and energy instead of bullying. For the victim, he could put his attention to helpful activities and avoid thinking about his disagreeable experiences and the negative things that will affect his mental health. This helps him strengthen his ability to cope with difficult situations. Moreover, children should always be encouraged to be physically active because “it is not only enjoyable but it calms the body” (Firestone). Other things parents can do for their children to build resiliency is to teach them to be contemplative in a positive manner. That is, they should be taught to solve problems because this will prepare them to think about solutions whenever they face tribulations. They should be observant about other people and their actions and try to understand them in relation to how they would react if they were in the situation of the other person. With such training, when children are bullied, they become more understanding and would perhaps be more independently able to find ways on how to positively deal with bullies. It is also important to teach children about the facts of life. Parents should not sugar-coat what they tell their children so that they will not live on a supposition that life can always be good to them if they are good. Helping children face the truth such as ‘bad things can happen to good people’, will make them become more prepared, knowing how to deal with people and their circumstances. Most importantly, parents should become good models for their children. In everything that is taught to children, ‘becoming a model’ has become a cliche yet it should never be underestimated because it is indeed a powerful tool in teaching children. Parents should first and foremost show signs of being able to cope with the problems they face instead of simply talking about them with their children. VII. Conclusion Bullying is a problem that is becoming more and more prominent in the modern world. Therefore, the situation should be considered more seriously than ever before. To start with, parents and other authorities involved should look into what bullying is and what it is not, for them to fully understand the situation and know how to deal with the problem. It is important to note that aside from the bully and the victim, there is also a third party who could be affected emotionally and psychologically about bullying incidents, the bully bystander. These should be determined so that necessary help will be given to each according to their role in the bullying incidents. Knowing the signs when a child is being bullied will enable the provision of help to be given earlier and thus prevent further mental damages on victims. Therefore, it is important that parents and school administrators are sensitive enough to determine such signs. Moreover, they should be well-informed about the effects of bullying so that adults will become more involved in creating positive approaches to such incidents and prevent them from happening if possible. Accordingly, they should also be aware about the tools of prevention discussed in this paper. One good approach to ensure a child’s ability to overcome the effects of bullying is to train him to become resilient so that he will be able to guard himself when faced with such problems even when he is alone. References Firestone, Lisa. (2011). “How to Bully-Proof your Children by Building their Resilience”. Psychology Today. Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion- matters/201112/how-bully-proof-your-children-building-their-resilience?page=2 Lines, Dennis. (2007). “The Bullies: Understanding Bullies and Bullying”. United Kingdom: Jessica Kingsley Publishers. n.a. (2012). “Being Resilient”. Kids Helpline. Retrieved from http://www.kidshelp.com.au/grownups/news-research/hot-topics/being-resilient.php Sampson, Rana. (2002). “Bullying in Schools”. Problem-Oriented Guides for Police, Problem Specific Guides Series. Guide number 12. Retrieved fromhttp://www.dps.mo. gov/homelandsecurity/safeschools/documents/FBI%20Bullying%20Guide.pdf Smith Peter K. & Sharp, Sonia. (1994). “School Bullying: Insights and Perspectives”. USA: Routledge. Underwood, Maureen M., Scott, Michelle Rish & Sringer, Judith. (2011). “Bullying and Suicide Risk- Building Resilience”. Social Work today. Vol. 11. No. 5. P. 10. Retrieved from http://www.socialworktoday.com/archive/092011p10.shtml Read More