Buddhist Wedding Traditions - Research Paper Example

?Wedding Impressions from Two Cultures Weddings celebrate an important rite of passage for most people. Whatever else may be specific to a culture, it represents the beginning of a family branch, and a lifestyle choice. In every culture, traditions have evolved, around this important celebration. These traditions, if analyzed, can reveal shared values and cultural perspectives. In analyzing a cultural tradition different from my own, and my impressions about it, I can gain deeper insight into my own cultural tradition. For this paper I have chosen to consider Buddhist and Catholic wedding traditions. A Buddhist wedding is treated as a simple social affair, rather than a complex religious one (iloveindia.com, 2011). This is in keeping with Buddha’s perspective on marriage. There is no set of rituals that must be included, and there is no requirement that the wedding take place in a temple. Civil registration is recognized by the Buddhists, with or without temple involvement. Buddhism is a tradition practiced all over the world, but primarily in India, Cambodia, China, Tibet, Thailand, Japan, Korea, Laos, Burma, Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Taiwan and Vietnam (vibranttable.com, 2011). In the case of Buddhist weddings, Buddhist symbols are woven into the customs of the particular country where the wedding is taking place. There is no universal standard. A Buddhist wedding, while not necessarily religious, is distinctly spiritual, encouraging the couple to put Buddhist principles to work in their marriage. Appreciation for beauty, peace and family are commonly evident at Buddhist weddings, as are symbols of wisdom and transformation, happiness, connection, respect for all life, protection, blessings, purity, generosity, love and honor. Based on these values, a Buddhist wedding may have meditation, bells and lotus flowers; golden fish; a red string or a white ceremonial cloth; a vegetarian menu; Buddha statues and parasols; incense and prayer flags; water; donations to charity; family and ancestral photos and perhaps a tea ceremony (vibranttable.com, 2011). Even though simplicity is an underlying value, there may be lots of brocade, silk and fine cotton fabrics. Traditional wedding colors vary from dark (black and gray in Japan and Korea, and brown and saffron in Thailand, Burma, India, Sri Lanka, Vietnam, and Laos) to bright (red, crimson and gold in China, or red, blue, green, white and yellow in Tibet). In learning about Buddhist wedding traditions, I am left with several strong impressions. The first one is that harmony and balance are important to Buddhists. I notice that there is no extreme drama at all, just simple decor, simple ceremony, simple activities like eating and offering tea, simple symbols like water, flowers, bells, fish, and simple expectations (the temple is not required, and the couple is usually very modest about publicly displaying affection. One site I looked at had some lovely photos, and I felt the beauty of their simplicity. The pictures of people were natural, not posed. The flowers were understated and tastefully arranged. Nothing was crowded together, but everything had space around it. Here are two examples, from two Buddhist weddings (vibranttable.com, 2011): Another impression I have, from what I have seen and read about Buddhist weddings, is that Buddhists are more interested in inner experience than in external form. Of course, the statue of the Buddha, in meditation, is a constant model of this value. The Lotus flower is another symbol of this. It is an unusual flower, in that it can grow in muddy, stagnant water, yet is seemingly untouched by the dirt around it. Buddhist weddings have a lot of symbolism, which indicates deeply held values and an emphasis on spiritual virtue. There is nothing dramatic, show-off, opulent, or spectacular about the ceremony itself. Below is a photo of a Buddhist wedding, which illustrates this point (iloveindia.com, 2011). A third impression I have gained about Buddhist weddings is that they are not just for the happy couple, but are grounding the union in family. They do this through traditions of respect. A tea ceremony is an example of this. Another example is the inclusion of family photographs and photos of ancestors. These traditions help the couple to understand that they are part of a lineage and network of responsibility and reputation. In addition, the Buddhist wedding is reminding the couple that they are taking on leadership roles in family and community. It is critical to maintain inner calm, a disciplined mind, and negotiate harmony, given their new responsibilities. A fourth impression I have formed about Buddhist weddings is that personal, practical considerations are more important than dogma. I have that impression as a result of noting that Buddhist couples have a lot of flexibility in planning their Buddhist wedding. There is no rule of a right way to do things and a demand to adhere to a narrow band of choices. Rather, the couple is free to marry in or outside of temple, and to plan a ceremony which fits them well and with which they and their families are comfortable. The ceremony is rich in symbolism, but is not seen as a religious ritual. Turning attention now to Catholic weddings, I note some similarities and some differences. One area of similarity is that Catholics are not required to marry in the church, but can choose a civil ceremony (Cuenin, 2011), if they prefer, just like Buddhist couples. It will still be recognized by the church. There is, however, less flexibility in the ceremony of the Catholic wedding. The Catholic wedding, if a church wedding, can be a full nuptial mass, with communion ritual and liturgy, or a standard service, similar to the nuptial mass, but without communion. Catholic weddings are highly religious, unlike Buddhist weddings. Communion is a ritual in which Catholics are given an edible wafer and a sip of wine. The wafer is symbolic of the body of Jesus. The wine is a symbol of his blood. This ceremony is central to Christian practice, as they remember Jesus’ death. Marriage is considered to be one of the seven sacraments, and is taken very seriously as a religious ritual. Practicing Catholics nearly always choose the nuptial mass (a one hour ceremony), for their wedding. Both the mass and the standard service involve scripture readings (Old Testament, Psalms, New Testament Gospel), ritual responses, prayers, exchange of marital vows, sacred music, gathering and concluding rituals (i-do.com.au, 2012). CD players and recorded music cannot be used. The Catholics are very strict about what music will be allowed, unlike the Buddhists. Catholic weddings also consider the family. Where Buddhist weddings are focused more on relatives and ancestors, Catholic weddings are focused on making certain that the offspring will have some exposure to Catholic values and teaching. The Catholic church used to make interfaith couples, who marry, sign an agreement that the children would be raised Catholic, but now the requirement is less strict (Cuenin, 2011). The dialogue between religious and secular cultural traditions is both similar and distinct, when comparing Buddhist and Catholic weddings. It is similar in that both Buddhist and Catholic couples can integrate religious and secular cultural traditions. However, the underlying assumption of doing so is different. At a Buddhist wedding, Buddhist values, symbols and principles are woven into a culturally appropriate and culturally familiar form, since there is no universal Buddhist wedding standard. For Catholics, however, there is a standard religious structure for a Catholic wedding, Couples are allowed, these days, to integrate secular cultural customs into the Catholic wedding, at the discretion of the priest, as these customs are classified appropriate (Clatworthy, 2009). Those customs or symbols thought by the priest and church to be inappropriate, are not allowed to be woven into the service. A distinction between Buddhist and Catholic weddings is that Catholic couples must attend Pre-Cana, which is one or more marriage preparation counseling sessions, in which the couple is brought into a right spiritual and emotionally mature perspective about the meaning and realities of marriage life (Clatworthy, 2009). Another part of Catholic marriage preparation is baptism, if one partner or both have not been baptized (Clatworthy, 2009). For Buddhist couples, preparation is generally done by the parents and relatives, and the form it takes, whether formal or informal, depends upon the culture of the country involved. For example, in Sri Lanka, preparation would not be complete, for a Buddhist wedding, without obtaining expert consultation on how well the horoscopes of the couple match. There is no standard prerequisite religious ritual required of Buddhist couples who will marry. The choice of color is culturally traditional, in a Buddhist wedding, and there may be various changes of clothing throughout the day. In a Catholic wedding, color is also important, but is seen as an individual choice, although it is often inspired by ethnic background (Clatworthy, 2009). Choice of fabrics can range from simple to rich, and dress and suit style are also open to personal choice. Some couples wear traditional ethnic clothing (Clatworthy, 2009). Decor is an area of Catholic weddings in which glamour and diversity are goals (Clatworthy, 2009). This differs from Buddhist weddings, in which simplicity is the ultimate goal and traditional decor is more often the norm. Catholic weddings are treated as an opportunity to weave uniqueness into traditional ceremony. Catholic couples try to make an impression with their decor, whereas Buddhist couples try to portray modesty and simplicity. In the Catholic wedding, Christian hymns can be sung in any language the couple chooses, and mass can be said in Latin (the traditional language of the Catholic church), or in the local language (Clatworthy, 2009). Although I found no direct mention of songs being sung in Buddhist weddings, I suspect that chanting might take place, if desired, as this is a common element in Buddhist practice and is, therefore, one of the possible practices a couple might choose to include. Christian hymns contain words of praise, worship, scripture, celebration, repentance, prayer, or other religious elements, while chanting is aimed only at inducing a meditative state. Based on my research, my impressions of Catholic weddings are that they are sober and traditional affairs, in terms of following a strict religious tradition, yet they make room for individual expression in the decor, color, attire, and language choice. Another reason for my impression of how seriously Catholics see weddings is that they do not leave the couple to the winds of chance, but provide formal training for marriage. This not only assists maturity, but also makes sure that the couple is bound to Catholic values and worldview, and sets the couple in a direction of becoming a Catholic family, with Catholic-informed children. Another impression I have is that Catholics are more authoritarian, while Buddhists are more authoritative. These terms refer to methods of socialization, and I use them in this context to indicate that Catholics put more traditional control over their wedding couples, while the Buddhists seem to present values, symbols and principles which couples can apply individually, as they experience meaning from them. Any changes in the Catholic wedding ceremony have to be considered by the priest who can and does exercise his authority, as church representative, to reject them if, in his opinion, they are not appropriate for inclusion in the service. Buddhists, on the other hand, consider their own spiritual practice and its meaning, combined with cultural familiarity, to arrange a marriage ceremony they feel most comfortable with. To understand the difference between Catholic and Buddhist weddings, it is important to consider the cognitive aspects, especially the core beliefs of each culture, pertaining to marriage. For Catholics, marriage is an important sacrament. A sacrament is a ritual action (like baptism or communion) that brings God and man together in God’s grace. This makes it the business of the church, and a predominantly religious ceremony. Like a vaccination, it makes a difference whether the other sacraments are up-to-date or not. That is why baptism is often provided in the Pre-Cana, when a partner has not been baptized. That is also why communion is included in the nuptial mass, and why some less-committed Catholics might opt to have a service without communion. Buddhism, on the other hand, claims it is not really a religion, but is a way of living and a philosophy, a path of development. Buddhists do not believe in an almighty supreme creator being, but they believe in the power of Mind and personal responsibility in disciplining their thoughts and actions. That is why they have a more social, rather than religious ceremony, and why they value modesty and simplicity, rather than glamorous decor. Another cognitive distinction between Catholics and Buddhists is a result of Catholicism being a Western religion and Buddhism being an Eastern teaching. Westerners value individual freedom while Asians value actions that will benefit the most people maximally. So in the case of Catholic weddings, the priest outlines, for couples with a history of individualist thinking, expectations that the Catholics want the couple to take collective responsibility for, now that they are accepting adult status in the community. The Buddhists are encouraging couples with a history of collectivist thinking to look inside and determine what has personal meaning, and to arrange that into a ceremony, at the same time balancing that with social, community identity and respect. Both Catholics and Buddhists recognize the deep influence of culture, on thinking and development. If Catholics did not recognize this, they would have a standard mass, in Latin, for every wedding, and the only decor would be church decor. Appropriate attire would be traditional religious attire. Only the most sober and Biblical of colors would be allowed. If Buddhists did not recognize this, there would be one standard wedding ceremony, promoting a standard decor and standard attire, and the service would likely feel alien to the couple and their families because it would not be culturally adapted. But Catholics do recognize the significance of culture. Latin mass is available for formal traditionalists, while English or local language mass is available for those who value understanding over form, and a non-communion service is available for those who want a lighter religious ceremony. Couples are allowed to express cultural traditions and regional taste through decor, color and attire. Buddhists also recognize the importance of cultural influence. Buddhism has found its way into many cultures and has had no trouble in adapting. Buddhists are not threatened by cultural diversity and personal variation, and they are happy to use the local or ethnic background culture as a base into which Buddhism can be seated. My own attitudes toward Buddhist and Catholic weddings are positive. I find similarities and differences between these cultures and my own Indian Hindu cultural background. My cultural background is a strong influence on how I respond to the unfamiliar weddings traditions I have encountered here. I find the similarities comforting and the differences intriguing. Like the Catholics, weddings in my culture involve a lot of compulsory ritual, more elaborate, I think, than the Catholic rituals. Also like the Catholics, our wedding preparations start well before the actually wedding. Our weddings are both religious and social events, and so, in addition to religious ritual of traditional meaning, we also have fun and dramatic activities. Even though the Buddhists see the wedding as a primarily social affair, they do not apparently engage in fun-filled, dramatic activities, because they want simplicity, modesty and balance, while we do not interpret our weddings in that same way. Actually, coming from my cultural background, both the Catholic and Buddhist weddings seem perhaps too sober and dry, because our weddings involve more emotional expression (joyful dancing and singing, for example). . An Indian Hindu wedding involves joining together two families and two souls, and not simply two people. That is my socialized viewpoint. For that reason, I felt attracted to the Buddhist involvement of family and ancestor photos. We have in common a more collectivist culture. For the same reason I felt I understood why Catholics look on marriage as a highly important sacrament, because we also see marriage as something of incredible and lasting importance. My own culture has a reputation for weddings of gloss and glamour, and it is true that this element is strongly visible. Hindi movies show many notable examples of this. For someone of a different cultural background, that may be the limit of what they can see. But underneath all that opulence is a feast of symbolism and cultural values, powerful feelings and immersion in our history as a people and in the values and connections that support us in our lives. These elements are there, in a different form and in a different vocabulary for Catholics and Buddhists. Some I could see, and others I probably did not. Weddings are a wonderful window into culture and identity, and into the ways we are all different, but alike. Because of the reflections we see there, we can also understand and embrace our own cultural traditions more appreciatively and less automatically. By questioning the cognitive processes and meanings that underlie cultural events, we gain a richer understanding of ourselves and others. References Clatworthy, G. (2009, May 1). Planning a modern Catholic wedding. Retrieved February 20, 2012, from Article Niche Project: http://article-niche.com/launch/Planning-A-Modern-Catholic-Wedding.htm?search_alert=1&term=%20wedding%20planning Cuenin, W. H. (2011, January 26). A Catholic priest's perspective on interfaith marriage. Retrieved February 20, 2012, from InterFaith Family: http://www.interfaithfamily.com/life_cycle/weddings/A_Catholic_Priests_Perspective_on_Interfaith_Marriage.shtml i-do.com.au. (2012). Catholic wedding ceremonies and nuptial mass. Retrieved February 20, 2012, from i-do.com.au: http://www.i-do.com.au/wedding-tips/the-wedding-ceremony/catholic-wedding-ceremonies-and-nuptial-mass/1663/ iloveindia.com. (2011). Buddhist wedding ceremony. Retrieved February 20, 2012, from iloveindia.com: http://www.weddings.iloveindia.com/budhist-wedding/index.html vibranttable.com. (2011, October 27). Buddhist wedding ideas & rituals. Retrieved February 20, 2012, from Vibrant Table: http://www.vibranttable.com/blog/bridal-boutique/buddhist-wedding-ideas-rituals/ Read More