He Said, She Said - Case Study Example

Case Study He Said, She Said Overview of the Case Marie is an adult college and mother of a fifteen year old son, Lenny. Lenny and Marie live with Mike, Marie’s fiance. There is conflict between the three of them because Marie has a very soft style of parenting and Mike understands that Lenny needs discipline. Marie and Mike fight over the fact that Marie sees Mike as “interfering” with her parenting and she refuses to accept Mike as part of the “family.” She is angry at Mike because he “has not had children” and therefore in her mind does not know how to deal with her son.

Presentation of the Key Facts It seems that Marie and Lenny have lived together for some time without Mike. The reason this seems this way is because Marie wants Mike to have a hands off approach in matters with Lenny. She is Mike’s fiancee but she does not allow him to have any real interaction about the discipline with Lenny. Lenny does whatever he pleases and in this particular instance, he defies his curfew. There could be many things going on with him until these wee hours of the morning.

Marie does not seem to want to punish Lenny in any real way and this makes Mike very concerned with their relationship. As an example, in the present situation, Marie did not approach Lenny for the reason he was out until 2:45 am, but rather told him she was worried and that he should call if he is going to be out late. Her conflict style with Lenny seems to be very passive and one that seems to avoid conflict (Bragg, 2010). It seems that Marie does not want to make Lenny angry because he is her child and the relationship with him is more important than discipline.

Also, Lenny tells his mother he will do whatever she wants around the house as long as she allows him to stay out late. Mike on the other hand, sees where the situation is going and knows that Lenny needs discipline. He has a more assertive style but he seems to not show it because Marie will not let him. Source of Conflict The basic source of the conflict is discipline. Marie does not want to discipline Lenny but he needs boundaries and limitations. Mike understands this but Marie wants to keep sole “ownership” of Lenny.

Recommended Solutions The best solution is for Marie and Mike to go to pre-marriage or couples counseling or conflict will probably grow when they are married. Mike may decide not to marry Marie because of her lack of discipline and the fact that she will not let him be part of it. Marie may have issues because of her last marriage and may need to see a counselor about those issues in dealing with Lenny. Lenny needs to understand that he is 15 years old which makes him still a minor. If he gets into problems when he is out, it will be his mother that will have to take responsibility.

Marie and Mike must find a common ground for their discipline of Lenny and Lenny will need to accept that the two of them are working together. Lenny may be rebelling against this new man in his mother’s life so family counseling would be a good idea for all three of them. At the very least, they must identify the conflict and then pursue a way to resolve it (Bowles, 2010). Alternative Solutions The only alternative solutions are that Lenny and Marie not to get married or for them to understand that this is a problem and that it needs to be fixed.

If they continue to allow Lenny to ignore his curfew, they may have more problems with him soon. References Allen, J. (14 June 2011). Family conflict styles. Living Strong Blog. Retrieved from http://www.livestrong.com/article/254654-family-conflict-styles/ Bowles, C. (19 July 2010). How to resolve family conflicts. Living Strong Blog. Retrieved from http://www.livestrong.com/article/178942-how-to-resolve-family-conflict/ Bragg, R. (13 September 2010). Family conflict styles. eHow Family Blog.

Retrieved from http://www.ehow.com/list_7146607_family-conflict-styles.html References