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“Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” In Joyce Carol Oates’ horrific coming-of-age story, Connie finds herself balanced precariously on the thin, confusing line between childhood and adulthood. She spends the first half of the story strutting around with a faux adult persona. She defies her parents, lies, and talks down to her mother. She also sneaks around and flirts with older boys whom she may or may not know. Connie is aware of dressing, looking, and acting differently in places other than her own home, acknowledging the stark contrast of the two people she tends to be and making it known that there is a reason for the two to exist.
However, as much as Connie gives off the appearance of being an adult, when Arnold Friend and Ellie come around, she is revealed to be the young, helpless child that she really is. The greatest secret that presents an obstacle to Connie’s path to adulthood is that Connie is not fully ready to enter adulthood. The way that she allows people to see her is all just a show. Connie, while having the same animosity towards her mother and sister that most teenagers have, has no desire to be an entity separate from her family.
By becoming an adult, she loses the protection that comes with being a child (Keilbach 12). She may fight with her mother and be eager to be away from her, but one of the first things that Connie does upon Arnold Friend’s invasion is call out for her family members. Similarly, Connie may flaunt that she has sexual experience with males, but all that she really has is just the outward appearance of someone who has had this experience. She wants others to believe that she is an adult, yet she does not want to sacrifice the benefits of childhood.
Even though she has made others believe that she has sexual experience, it is made clear by her interactions with Arnold Friend that sex is the last thing that she is ready for. As such, Connie’s biggest obstacle, as well as her biggest secret, in entering adulthood is that she was not ready to entirely give up her childhood. In essence, Connie is the only riddle that has her caught between adulthood and childhood. She is eager to embrace the life of a mature woman, yet she is reluctant to completely give up her life as an innocent child.
It quickly becomes known that Connie is not ready for adulthood, nor does she have the experience of being an adult that she flaunts regardless. Despite how she acted towards her mother and in front of her friends, the fear she experienced with Arnold Friend is who Connie genuinely is (Oates & Showalter 115). She is a frightened child who depended on mommy and daddy to save her from one of her messes. This is common for many teenagers; they want to become adults as soon as possible, but they do not want to give up many of the perks of being a child.
As Connie shows, though, people cannot have it both ways. Connie acted too much like an adult to the point where she had no choice but to give in to the thing that she appeared to want most. Works Cited Keilbach, Andreas. The Concept of Duality in Joyce Carol Oates's "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" New York: Books on Demand, 2009. Print. Oates, Joyce Carol, and Elaine Showalter. Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?: Critical Essays. New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers University Press, 1994. Print.
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