The Impact of Divorce on Children - Research Paper Example

? Impact of divorce on children Divorce is the final cancellation or termination of a marital bond or union. It involves relieving the parties involved of the responsibilities and duties of marriage. This termination may involve sharing of wealth or debt, child custody and child support among many other things. Divorce laws differ depending on the laws of the countries. When divorce takes place, it has some effects on children. In particular, the children who are under the age of 18 can be affected by diverse ways as revealed in this paper. One of the most painful and devastating effects of divorce is the loss of parents for these underage children (Abrams, 2003). This happens when there is loss of contact with one or, in extreme cases, both parents. The loss comes with the loss of assistance and emotional help. Parents give a hugely influential psychological help to their children. This includes their duty as role models. It is estimated that non residential mothers do visit their children more frequently that the fathers (Brentano, 2007). Non residential fathers tend to visit their children at most five times in a month. Study shows that 21 per cent of children do not see their father two to three years after divorce. When this contact time is lessened, it means that children shall have to look for some other person to fill in the gap (Abrams, 2003). Most children who end up in criminal gangs come from none functional families (Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 1999). Most of them are said to have lost contact with their fathers and, therefore, try to fill in that gap through negative peer pressure (Clarke-Stewart & Vandell, 2000). The quality of the time spent by the parents and a teenage child or adolescent is what actually matters. This is because there are fathers who are always at home but always fight with their children. These are the parents who do not take intentional steps to create bond with their children (Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 1999). Emotional disconnection between children and their parents leads to mental instability (Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 1999). In this case, children who are under the age of 18 are adversely affected when they feel an emotional disconnection with their parents. Fathers who help their children in their homework and show care and affection raise children who are better socially (Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 1999). Without this connection, children are left in the dark without knowing who to look to for guidance and direction. When parents divorce, children are likely to suffer economically. This means that they are likely to suffer financially more than children whose family is intact (Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 1999). There are instances when parents divorce and consequently opt to live in different countries. In this case, children have to choose which parent they want to live with. There are instances when after the division of property, the father of the children who used to be the bread winner files for bankruptcy. In most cases, he urges that he is not capable of supporting the children (Abrams, 2003). In other cases, divorced families change locations, children are forced to change their social set up and the quality of life they are used to. In most of these cases, it happens quite abruptly. The process of divorce itself can be terribly expensive to the parents and children alike (Wolfinger, 2005). The well being of children cannot be quantified entirely through money. The economics of raising children involves harmony and peace within the family institution. This is because resources are best shared in an atmosphere of peace and tranquility (Abrams, 2003). Divorce involves loss of some supportive relationships and connections. Sometimes, change in the child’s healthcare programs affects the quality of the child’s upbringing. This radical economic change has a devastating effect upon the lives of the children involved. This financial strain becomes a doorway to many other economic challenges for the young children (Abrams, 2003). In particular, children have a monumental problem approaching parents who are still hurting from the heartbreak. According to Abrams (2003), the blame game between the parents in most cases leaves a parental responsibility gap. Life stress is another significant challenge that children have to overcome. Children have to cope with the reality of watching parents spill all the secrets they have been guarding about each other (Brentano, 2007). Each party wants to look innocent and win the backing of the children. This leaves the children more stressed up. The radical change of events, learning to live without one of your parents, change in schools and other changes render children much more vulnerable (Abrams, 2003). In cases where the extended family is involved, children may not know who to run to, especially when the relatives are partisan (Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 1999). This creates an atmosphere of stress which can easily result in depression. The exposure of conflicts between the parents has a devastating effect in the lives of children (Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 1999). This happens during and after the divorce process. In most cases, divorce happens after a long and protracted war between the parents. Sometimes, parents carry out these fights right in front of their children (Clarke-Stewart & Vandell, 2000). This definitely contributes to the children’s lower well being. Children who have experienced their parents fighting either by contact of through the legal process perform poorer compared to the children who come from stable families. The conflict that continues after the divorce has got a profound effect in the lives of the children, especially in their process of adjusting. Studies show that children start to suffer even in the pre-divorce season (Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 1999). This effect can leave children with violent tendencies if they have witnessed that at home. Whether favorable or awful, children tend to do what their parent do. Children think their parents do it because it should be done (Wolfinger, 2005). For the first time, some teenage children can see their parents break down because of stress. When all these issues happen they can take a toll on parental competence. This involves the quality of skills used to raise healthy children. Divorce tends to cause the parents to have a lax attitude towards raising their children (Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 1999). This leads to incompetence in the raising of children. How the parents relate with each other and how they project themselves to the children is the part of parental competence. When stress and conflict affect parents, their ability to perform becomes weakened. This causes them to become less influential in the lives of their children in general. Children are not proficient in assessing who of two parents is right (Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 1999). They feel that they are denied their fundamental right to be loved and attended to effectively. This can result in resentment (Abrams, 2003). Poor parental adjustment has a negative impact upon the lives of adolescents. One of the most crucial issues to children is the availability of their parent. Most none resident fathers opt to be calling their children rather than visit them (Clarke-Stewart & Vandell, 2000). Those who seek a parental agreement opt to use the agreement to state their meeting times with the children. However, children cannot understand why other children have full access to their parents throughout (Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 1999). In some cases, children can ridicule their fellow children who have single parents. In conclusion, there are many reasons that explain why children from divorced parents go through hard times. Some of these reasons include exposure to parental conflicts, stress or, in extreme cases, depression, as well as the abrupt and sudden change of social life such as school, neighbors and economic status (Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 1999). There are many psychological changes that impact children negatively, like shame and general loss of direction. When parents divorce, children suffer. The biggest sense of loss is emotional and psychological. Children can end up being neglected and being caught up in court battles that can take long to settle. Most parents do not know how to inform their children that they are divorced, especially when the children are too young to understand. Economic losses can be devastating to the children but, ultimately, the absence of tender care and love from one parent or both hurts the children most. References Abrams, L. (2003). Divorce Lucent Overview Series Overview Series (1st ed.). Retrieved from http://books.google.co.ke/books?id=SX5C8gVo4U0C&q=impacts+of+divorce+on+teenagers&dq=impacts+of+divorce+on+teenagers&source=bl&ots=IQN_1uoK_2&sig=-HZleIhJd1lLCYT5ybhX2Xq_pyI&hl=en&redir_esc=y Brentano, C. (2007). Divorce: Causes and Consequences Current Perspectives in Psychology (2nd ed.). Retrieved from http://books.google.co.ke/books?id=9L7cAssKMLcC&dq=impacts+of+divorce+on+teenagers&source=gbs_navlinks_s Clarke-Stewart, K. A., & Vandell, D. L. (2000). Effects of parental separation and divorce on extremely young children. Journal of Family Psychology, 14(2), 304-326. Hetherington, E. M., & Stanley-Hagan, M. (1999). The adjustment of children with divorced parents: a risk and resiliency perspective. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 40(1), 129-140. Wolfinger, N. H. (2005). Understanding the Divorce Cycle: The Children of Divorce in their Own Marriages (2nd ed.). Retrieved from http://books.google.co.ke/books?id=kqx0hedojloC&dq=effects+of+divorce+on+teenagers&source=gbs_navlinks_s Read More