Dysfunctional Communication Processes - Essay Example

? Mr. L has a wife and three children, two girls and one boy. The type of the family farm is a nuclear family, and they are descendants of Chinese. Religion in the family is dynamic. Mr. L is an atheist along with two children, his wife is Buddhist, and one child is catholic. However, there is no conflict on the issue of follow separate religions among this family. They respect other family members’ religion. They belong to the middle class. Mr. L and his wife have been working in a small car company for a long time, and their children are working as an elementary teacher, hair designer, and the youngest one has been employed at a big insurance company. Mr. L lives in three-bedroom condo in residential areas. Living room and kitchen are on the first floor, and bedrooms and bathrooms are on the second floor. The house has a hardwood floor and there is a small rug under the sofa. The air conditioner is in the living room, and there are small fans in all the bedrooms. Family members take off their shoes before entering the house, and wear slippers. Mr. L was diagnosed with DM ten years ago, and now he is administered insulin injections. He often comes to visit his primary doctor because he has swollen ankles and 0.2cm by 0.2 cm foot ulcer on his big toe. He denies any other health problems or surgery history. The family is in the stage of launching the young adults because Mr. L’s youngest child got married in 2010, and a grandson was born last year. Children talk to Mrs. L easily but they rarely talk to Mr. L. All children want to have only one child because they feel that they would be burdened by responsibilities if they will plan more children. Whenever Mr. And Mrs. L’s children face any problem regarding the new born they take advice from their mother and Mrs. L has always responded to them gladly. .Mr. And Mrs. L rarely talk to each other. However, Mrs. L is always concerned about her spouse and his chronic health condition. Mrs. L cooks brown rice instead of white rice because she knows brown rice is good for health, and also helps to reduce blood sugar level for patients who have been diagnosed with DM. Dysfunctional communication patterns are observed between husband and wife. Communication patterns are one way. The husband asks his wife to do the certain job for him and the wife does it without raising any question. While watching the news, the husband discusses his opinion on the news, and the wife too tells her opinion but if somehow wife does not agree with the husband regarding his opinions, husband’s voice gets higher and insists that his opinion is right which leads to cessation of communication between husband and wife. Affective messages are not exchanged between husband and wife. The wife is verbally and physically warm and close to her three children. Also, the children are affectionate to their mother. However, the husband only expresses warm feeling towards his oldest daughter, and has no warm words for the other two children. Life partners in this case, never express and share their internal warm feelings which they have for each other. Whenever the husband informs the wife about the problems that their family has exhibited, the wife angrily rolls her eyes at husband .It shows an incongruent message. Dysfunctional communication processes are seen in spouses. The husband himself assumes and makes decisions for his wife. While children plan a family vacation, Mr. L comes up with the argument based on his own assumptions that his wife is not interested in going anywhere. Close communication depicts the inner feelings between husband and wife. Cultural variable affects the communication factor between the couple because they were born and raised in China. In this case, the male is dominant in the house, and wife is submissive negotiating the fact that they follow western culture where the couples are egalitarian. The husband makes all the big decisions of family by himself and does not take any advice from his wife or children.. The wife usually follows his decision without asking any creating any issue. Husband uses legitimate power which is culturally derived power and other family members have accepted it. Variable affecting family power is mother’s power. Children regard mother’s opinion regarding their issues or personal problems and the mother does not inform this all to her spouse. She makes her own decisions, and provide her children with a piece of advice. This gives the mother informal power. As mentioned by As Tu (2005) a Chinese’s gender role in his article, the same is the case with Mr. And Mrs. L who follow the exact same rule pattern. Mr. L’s role is that of a father and husband. He is the leader of his family. He takes the big decisions all by himself, and he earns money to support his family by paying for their school tuitions and living expenses. Mrs. L’s role is that of a mother and wife. She also works and makes money but not as much as her husband. Her job is that of a housewife. She takes care of her children, cooks, do house chores and does all the shopping for a home. The oldest daughter’s informal rule is encouraged. She supports her younger siblings’ opinions and their decisions. As Washington (2009) stated in his research that Chinese immigrants combine with American and Chinese way of dealing with DM treatment. Mr. L’s situation regarding his health is optimistic. They follow the Chinese’s traditional value, for example balancing cold and hot, and also accepting American values, germ theory. Mr. L verbalizes that he gets insulin shot every day, his foot ulcer has been caused due to DM and it has worsened because of some kind of bacteria. Also, he uses Chinese herbs to wash his foot every day. Mutual nurturance, closeness and identification are adequate between mother and three children Father is only close to the oldest daughter, and the daughter also shares the same feelings for the father. Closeness and nutrients are very weak between father and other two children as well as between Mr. and Mrs. L. Mr. L encourages children individuality while Mrs. L enhances cohesion. Children have adapted the separation and week connection facts that they share with their father. In their lives. Family child-rearing practices are very different between father and mother. The father insists on the policy of obedience and discipline that children should always listen to their parents without any doubts. However, the mother encourages their children to always express their feelings and thoughts, and to freely talk with their parents. Adaptability of child-rearing practices for family’s situation is that boy learns the father’s role, which is that of a breadwinner and the leader of the family while the girls follow the mother’s role that is about a caretaker of the house. Socializing agents for children are parents, school teachers and siblings. Male children are prepared and given important over female children as they are preferred more in accordance with Chinese culture. Stress takes place in a family when family lacks the elements of communication between husband and wife and conditions worsen more due to husband’s bad hobbies (gambling), husband’s dictatorship, the wife’s burden of workload ( house chores, working and taking care of grandchildren) and husband’s chronic disease. Strengths that counterbalance stresses are husband’s steady job, husband’s awareness of own disease and self-care, the affectionate relationship shared between mother and children, and coherence among children. Mother along with children uses an internal coping strategy of great sharing together. They talk about their father’s problem and express their feelings. They also use to be open and honest. The oldest daughter informs younger sister about mother’s burden and about taking care of the grandson. So she tries to take care her own son. The daughter who follows catholic religion prays often to cope up with the stress .Mother also goes to temple to cope up with her stress. The other two children talk and share their stress situations with their friends. Dysfunctional coping strategy utilized by father, mother and son is smoking. Father started smoking when he failed his own business. Mother started smoking because of husband’s dominant personality accompanied by his bad hobbies, gambling. Overall family adaptation is well accepted and the family is not facing any crisis at all. Preventive care is used for the family. They see a doctor regularly, and receive a flu vaccine every year. Mrs. L is in charge of family’s dietary practices. She plans, shops, prepares meals every day, and tries to cook a balanced diet. Children did not have any problems with eating fruits and vegetables when they were young. Mrs. L pays more attention to diet since her husband was diagnosed with DM. She changes white rice to brown rice, red meat to chicken or fish and use less sugar. Family members have accepted the new diet menu without any complaints. Mr. and Mrs. L sleep eight hours at night without any disturbance. When they come back from work, they get some rest until dinner time. After dinner both of them watch TV in different rooms because Mr. L likes to watch sports or news while Mrs. L likes to see dramas. Mr. L exercises three times a week for an hour. He walks fast in a park, but Mrs. L does not work out. She is burdened with house chores, and has no time to exercise. The family sees a doctor once a year for annual physical examination including blood tests, eye test and cancer detection test. Family members check their teeth frequently on their own, and if they see any dental caries then they visit a dentist. There is no significant health history in maternal and paternal sides. The family trusts their primary doctor, and thinks that health services are good enough. Mr. and Mrs. L rarely visit the emergency room. They have health insurances, so paying for the health services are affordable for them. First of all, the L family needs to find a way of handling stress, so they can divert from smoking. This is a very critical issue for Mr. L because smoking has worsened his foot ulcer . Altenburg (2011) stated in his article that smoking is a cause of foot ulcer. Secondly the family should work on the communication gap that has taken place between the father and younger two children. They use pseudo mutuality. They celebrate birthdays or eat a meal together, but there is no sign of establishing an effective relationship and emotional closeness have been disconnected from one another. Last but not the least, the couple needs to socialize with other living community or to have recreation practices. Read More