MyHistory of Death and Loss - Essay Example

Death and Loss  Death is inevitable and can only by understood in reality by those who have lost someone very close to him or her. The unavoidabilityof death cannot be denied, but its acceptance is painful and an uphill task. We listen a lot about death and loss in our everyday lives, but its truth is tragic and painful. When someone dies, he or she leaves everybody and everything behind and never comes back, which is a painful truth that the people attached to the deceased have to accept. It is said usually that after death, one gets free from all the problems and enters a new state that is in form of a soul. However, when we loss someone dear to us, we are emotionally destructed and lonesome. I lost a friend of mine when I was in middle school and later on, after college, I lost my grand mom. Losing a friend who was so dear and near was a tragic loss and I was very grieved. I tried a lot to handle my grief, but every time when I tried to shut my eyes, she came there in front of me. For many nights, I was unable to sleep. I was not very old to understand the truth and settle my emotions easily, but after all my grief and sadness, I started living a normal life. I was very much frightened of death and thought that death was something very horrible that was able enough to snatch our beloved people from us. Later on, when I lost my grandmother, I was again in a shocking state. I pondered too much over death and the feeling of loss and after all that pondering and disturbance, I started remaining busy with my studies and other home based chores in order to get rid of those terrible feelings of loss. I was too much scared and feared death. I was just unable to understand whatever was happening around me. However, with the passage of time, I realized that life goes on in this manner. Now, I am quite aware that death is a reality that has the ability to take from us whom we love. When people die, they leave us, but there are also people who leave us without dying. Their leaving us permanently also can be understood as death of those people in our lives. I remained with my single mother and my father had left us. I regard his leaving us as a loss, which we were required to cop up with. It took some time, but it was all over. There were a number of losses that I underwent in my lifetime, but these losses made me strong enough to handle everything alone. Now, I am not afraid or fearful of being alone. I consider myself strong enough to endure anything that comes in my way. The losses that we bear in our life make us courageous and brave. We are no more scared of losing as we consider that losing is part of life. In addition, I prefer to remain alone as too more attachment or love can cause pain in case of eventual loss. Therefore, in order to be safe from more losses, we have to understand that our lonely living is better because in that manner, we would be required to endure less pain and suffering. I know that I am right now. I try my best to do everything to the best and live my life as if it is my last day. Therefore, I always remain prepared for dying and undergoing a loss. However, this fact cannot be denied that death and loss are something that have a great impact on our lives and no matter how much we try, they affect us negatively. Saying things are easier than suffering so, I think that we must be readily prepared for any loss in our lives in order to fight pain and suffering that comes with the deaths or losses in our lives. When a person is distressed on the death of a close relative, his physical as well as mental health is disturbed. There can be loss of appetite, restlessness, lack of sleep, energy loss, pain in the eyes and head because of crying intensively, and so on. Mental issues can be emotional distress, depression, regretful state over the loss, despair, hopelessness, and a continued sadistic state. These issues should be timely as their elongated period affects the mental and physical health of the person thoroughly and there are chances of some severe health issues that cannot be easily handled. Death and loss teach us that like other people who suffer loss, it can also come in our lives and like all those people, we would have to acquire adaptive measures to control our depressing state. When I was under heavy feelings of loss when I lost my friend and my grandmother, I was quite depressed and lost, but I tried my utmost to cope up with my issue and now, I am quite stable. However, whenever I remember that friend of mine, I have tears in my eyes. I also have similar feelings about my grandmother. In my opinion, we feel heavy loss for those people who have some importance in our lives. There are many people whose loss appear nothing to us because of our mental detachment with those people. There are also strangers about whom we hear daily in news, but we are not that much hit or hurt about their deaths as we are hurt by the deaths of our beloved people. Closeness is something very destructive as because of closeness, the loss appears grand and when there is no closeness or just minute attachment, the loss becomes less. I am aware of this issue due to which, I try to stay away from people and fear from making any close relationship with anyone because it is mostly affecting. We feel the loss of that person intensively whom we love intensely. The feelings of loss and grievousness are not unnatural. They are quite natural when someone closer dies. There is nothing awkward about having such feelings or having depression because everybody who suffers a loss undergoes similar feelings. When we are in a grievous state, it appears that such sadness and remorse will never leave us, but time is a great healer and it teaches us to start living again as we like. We cannot lead our whole life in grief; we are required to move on. When we talk with people who have also underwent tragic experiences of loss and death, we are able to relate our losses to them. There is a feeling of togetherness and we feel that we are not alone with the losses in our life. These feelings and understand make us able to handle our loss. We realize that death has not come to our people only, and many people have many beloved people dead. They lead their lives with strength and hope and seeing them living such encourages us to live as well. Our feelings of hopelessness leave us and we are again ready to live our lives, as per our liking. We have to accept that there are tragic happenings as well as pleasant happenings in people’s lives, and everything is part of life. Such thinking and positive perceptions about life enable people to lead a positive life coping with their losses. The reality of death and loss cannot be denied. Death is inevitable and we not only suffer loss of people through their death, but also because of their leaving us all to ourselves. All the losses and suffering that I underwent in my life taught me about how I could survive in this world. I left my home country and adjusted in a new country. Leaving everything and everyone behind was also a loss, but I coped up with that loss. I learned to live alone and in solitude where I consult my own self for sharing and counseling purposes. I became an introvert and self-reliant person on the bases of the losses that I underwent. It cannot be said that there are people who enjoy all their lives without seeing any loss altogether because death forgives no one. People from all classes, all parts of the world, from all races, and speaking diverse languages, all have to suffer loss in their lives. They have to lose their dear and near ones. When we see similarity and uniqueness in the suffering and feelings attached to someone’s loss in people’s lives, we are able to ponder positively over our losses. I lost my dear friend at a very young age and after that, I lost my grandmother. These losses initially made me numb and distressed, but later on, I was able to handle my grief and remorse. I realized the inevitability of death and also understood that loss cannot be ignored, as it is part of life. I understood that for a positive survival, I had to move on. Read More