The Relationship with Daniel - Assignment Example

The relationship that I have is with an individual called Daniel. Daniel is a good friend of mine that we met while we were entering the high school. It was one chilly morning, when I was boarding a bus, and fortunately, Daniel was boarding the same bus as mine. We sat on the same seat, and he began a conversation about schools, and sports. That is the day that we met, and unfortunately, we never meet for the next two years. However, while finishing high school, God gave us an opportunity to meet again, and this time we were able to take the contact of each other. Based on this fact, I have known Daniel for the last 5 years. It is important to provide an explanation that currently, my7 relationship with Daniel is at the intensifying stage. It is at this stage when people within a relationship are able to disclose more about each other, with the intention of finding out whether their actions will be reciprocated. It is important to denote that during this time, Daniel was able to disclose so much to me, and initially, I was reluctant to disclose any information about myself, and family to him. However, the breaking point came when Daniel was able to disclose the problems of his family to me. That is, his parents were facing a difficult time, and wanted to separate from each other. This clearly touched, because Daniel was able to trust me with such kind of sensitive information. Based on this action by Daniel, I started becoming free with him, disclosing some aspects about myself, as well as my family. However, most information that I normally disclose to Daniel, revolves around my social and academic life. The same applies to Daniel, and this is because we came to an agreement that it won’t be necessary for both of us to disclose some sensitive information pertaining to our families. It is important to understand that the major factor that attracted me to Daniel was the confidence he had, on the first day that he was speaking to me. That is on the bus station. To me, confidence matters so much, and this is because it plays a great role in improving the communication ability of an individual. A person who is not confident will find it difficult to express himself; as a result, there will be a break-down in communication (Hardyman, 2010). However, two important issues contributed in making me, to be interested for a long time on Daniel. One factor is suspense. During the beginning of our relationship, it was always difficult to know what Daniel was thinking about. This is mainly because he was always quiet and not speaking much. This was an attraction to me, and this is mainly because I wanted to know what was always in his mind. However, with time, Daniel was more comfortable near me, and he began opening up, and talking more about himself. The long term attraction that I had towards Daniel is based on his ambition and motivation. Daniel is a highly ambitious and motivated individual. This was an attraction to me, mainly because I believe that where there is ambition, an individual will gain the capability of achieving whatever he or she desires in life. Furthermore, our relationship is based on loyalty and understanding. This is because it has taken so many years to develop, and as such, the influence we exert upon each other is not always coercive, nor intimidating but based upon the mutual understanding of each other. On this basis, the type of relationship power between our relationships is referred to as referent power. Dowrick (2004) explains referent power as the ability of people to attract each other, and build their relationships based on loyalty. Furthermore, this type of power is always based on the interpersonal skills, as well as the charisma of the individual holding the power. Daniel is a very charismatic individual, and as discussed earlier, he also has some good communication and interpersonal skills. Through this method, Daniel has managed to create loyalty within me, and on this basis, both of us are loyal towards each other. However, it is important to denote that at some occasions, both of us are always coercive of each other. This normally occurs when we want to meet each other, but due to time constraints, we are unable to set time for each other. In some circumstances, I usually threaten Daniel, that if he won’t find time for me, then I would also do the same. This normally works, as Daniel will have to spare some time in his busy schedule to at least meet me. However, Daniel has never done the same for me, and this makes me to feel guilty of using such kind of an approach in our relationship. Furthermore, it is important to explain that in a relationship, arguments normally exist. However, the arguments that normally occur between us, are always resolved through understanding, and mutual trust. This is because of my respect to Daniel, and the fact that I am seeing him as a responsible person capable of coming up with good decisions. It is important to understand that power and attraction are very important for a relationship, and this is mainly because it plays a role in holding and maintaining the relationship (Senker, 2013). For instance, if Daniel was not ambitious, a key factor that attracted me to him, then chances are high that my attraction to him could not be sustained. On the other hand, power is important in holding the relationship. This is because the power exerted in this relationship is both referent and coercive. It is referent in the sense that, it is built on loyalty, understanding and respect (Hardyman, 2010). On this basis, the concerns of Daniel are mine, and my concerns are also of Daniel. Coercive in the sense that I used it to find time that can help us know more about each other. It is therefore important to denote that this aspect of coercion needs to be improved, so that it may stop. This is because I am always guilty by using this method, to force Daniel to look for some time for me, despite his heavy work schedule. Just as discussed earlier, that at most occasions we may argue a lot with Daniel, based on this fact, the best method of managing this relation is through acquiring skills of conflict management. In conclusion, this method, the best way is to always identify the root cause of the argument, analyze the cause, and come up with a solution on how to solve the problem under consideration. While undertaking this process, we need to be together with Daniel, so that both of us may reach a consensus on what the root problem of the argument was. This is an important strategy in managing conflict within our relationship. This method will most definitely maintain and escalate intimacy in our relationship. References: Dowrick, S. (2004). Free thinking: on happiness, emotional intelligence, relationships, power, spirit. Crows Nest, N.S.W.: Allen & Unwin. Hardyman, R. (2010). Relationships. New York: PowerKids Press. Senker, C. (2013). Relationships. Chicago, Ill.: Heinemann Library. Read More