The Marital Problem of Teresa - Essay Example

Family Law Family Law Titus Rock Manickam Order No. 225885 16 May 2008 Table of Contents Introduction3 2. The Options4 3. Grounds for Divorce/Annulment5 4. Moral Obligations..6 5. Legal Option...7 6. Legal Costs and Other Implications...8 7. One More Chance...9 8. Conclusion..10 Sources...12 Family Law 1. Introduction The marital problem Teresa is facing is not unique anymore in the present times. Teresa's case is just a tip of the iceberg in cultures where competition and achievement top the individual's list of priorities. In such environment it is difficult to sustain marital relationships with traditional precepts. Marriage has to be viewed as a lifetime contract and adequate planning and preparations have to be in place so that both husband and wife are clear about their individual roles and fulfill them to the best of their abilities. Otherwise, there is every chance that the finger of blame will begin pointing to the other person at the slightest provocation. It is important to get into matrimonial alliance with a life time strategy. Trial and error methods cannot work because there are certain issues that simply do not work on trial and error strategy. Selflessness and sacrifices do not go hand in hand with trial and error strategies. Rather they work exclusively in relationships where the partners are quite clear that marriage is a do-or-die affair, where one swim or sink together. In simple terms, you are either in the circle or out of it. One either learns to command and lead from the front or tail away at the rear in meek, abject surrender to the leader's beck and call. The first few steps and promises at the altar at the time of marriage are only symbolic. They only expound the binding factor that what God has put together, nobody puts asunder! Once this sanctity is broken or tampered with, it breaks a natural order at a very high cost to the couple and other innocent lives leaving them to bear the disastrous consequences for no fault of theirs. Teresa's matrimonial history is the regular mix of trial and error and these are best handled at the initial stage. It is commonly acknowledged that nobody is perfect, and by and large, few will readily admit their faults and shortcomings at the start of a relationship. The proverbial stitch in time saves nine applies to long term relationships like marriage. Teresa accepted George's lies about his aristocratic ancestry without discretion. She married him in the hope that there was a windfall headed her way through him. She was also fortunate enough to live through almost a decade of blissful married life when she gave birth to two sons, William and Liam. Nonetheless, now Teresa is going through testing times due to George's changed behavior and perceived lack of interest in their family affairs. The problem is compounded due to his alcoholism, abusive behavior which is degenerating to violence. The last straw in her tolerance level is breached when he discloses his intention to change his name and sex. In all probability, George has developed with homosexual symptoms and is in a gay relationship. (Gender recognition) 2. The Options Left with no reasonable option, Teresa is considering divorce and annulment of her marriage to George. She is also considering protection from George's abusive behavior and possibility of physical attacks in future. Prima facie, Teresa has good case for divorce. However, in the absence of solid proof she is not in a position to initiate legal action. She has to make sure that she has all the facts in place so that if and when she does file for divorce, the proceedings are in her favor. She also wants to know if George could be made to leave the house. Obviously, she is keen on holding on to their house for herself and her children. Legal procedures are complicated and require expert legal advisors to handle the case. The application of legal terms and procedures differ from case to case. For instance, once the case is filed by the petitioner (Teresa), a copy of the petition will be sent to George for confirmation of the details. Once the confirmation is received, there is a period of six weeks granted by the court when the petitioner and the spouse could stop the process if both are willing for amicable settlement. The couple can also settle their children's custody and savings/properties claim during this period, if they decide their marriage is irretrievably over. After the six weeks period is over, the court ends the marriage by a decree. (Domestic Violence) 3. Grounds for Divorce/Annulment In any relationship, break-up is a painful experience. More so in marriage, because of the emotional trauma of having to bear with betrayal, prestige issue, children responsibilities, and the unpleasantness associated with legal and moral issues particularly by the side feeling cheated and personally having to refrain from reacting impulsively. The law is quite clear and explicit on the grounds for divorce. The break down in marriage can happen for any one or more of such reasons as: adultery, unacceptable behavior of spouse which makes it difficult and inappropriate for joint living as husband and wife, separation for over two years for any reason and willingness by spouse to apply for divorce by mutual consent, five years separation between the couple, or desertion by spouse for over two years. The grounds for divorce or annulment in the cases of marriage and civil partnership are similar except that the term adultery takes on the form of unreasonable behavior in the case of civil partnership. (Divorce And Dissolution Of Civil Partnership) 4. Moral Obligations At the outset, when it is clear that marriage is headed for the rocks there are two options to consider for solution. The options are moral and legal. There are plenty of couples who grin and bear it. However, the practical options are moral and legal. It is important to give moral option a chance because in many cases it has worked. It has worked with Victoria and David Beckham. And it has worked with a lot more other couples. Moral option is worth trying for two reasons. The first and most important reason is that it is good for the children. Secondly, it gives the erring side the chance for correction and reform. It may not be easy to exercise this option unless both parties are willing to try. If either of the couple is disinterested, and persuasion does not work, there is little that this option could do to influence a remedy. However, this option is best when both parties are genuinely concerned for their offspring. 5. Legal Option The legal option exists for a variety of reasons and not all of them have to do with traumatic experiences. Take the instance of a couple who are happily married but are unable to spend time together for long stretches of time due to occupational demands. However, these types of marriage annulment are few. Majority of legal recourse are taken due to marital discord arising from traumatic relationships and adultery. Teresa is not alone in her failed relationship with George. In almost every marriage, the initial excitement, fire and freshness die down in few years time. The couple having gotten to know each other over a period of time, allow the relationship to blossom into marriage. However, the important obligations of planning and discipline necessary to build a home do not receive the right treatment. The relationship sadly lags on issues needing mature consideration and reflections by both sides. Neither of the couple has given enough thought to what ought to be done in case of differences, misunderstanding or conflict of interests. The marriage is solemnized only as a means of legitimate social recognition while the real hard facts are kept buried so that they do not impede the marriage. The partners are nonchalant about the issues that help to keep the marriage going. The golden rules of sharing in happiness and sorrows, temptations and trials, health and sickness are given perfunctory lips service. There is no responsible, group support to keep the marriage safe and secure through all times. However, these are the facts that later on come home to roost and turn married lives relentlessly like a ship caught in a raging storm. Later on, the obvious lack of preparation and communication, followed by display of temper and fault-finding, soon begin to foster legal solution in the perceived lack of solution through mature reasoning and discussion. (Legal Implications of Marriage) 6. Legal Costs and Other Implications Teresa, as the sober partner, must consider her children, finances and other investments, and property including the house in her legal option. Having to deal with her husband's aggressive and abusive behavior, she has enough reason to seek legal advice. Her reasons are further strengthened by the fact that he is becoming an alcoholic. Se has smelled perfume on his person a few times. His observations about changed sex and decision to change his name and sex add to her reasons for legal option. She must also seek a good marriage counselor because this matter is different from a solicitor who cannot be expected to provide expert counseling in dealing with emotional trials. Teresa has to be prepared with finance to handle the legal costs. The legal option being her initiative she has to arrange for the finance and work out a strategy with her legal adviser in the interests of her children and herself. The law accords top priority to the children's welfare and this will make it mandatory for Teresa to work out a strategy in which her children continue to get the opportunity of meeting with their father even after the divorce. The time, place and manner the children and father meet could be mutually settled or done through the court. In view of George's threatening behavior she could seek the court's intervention to keep George away from her, her children and her house at a safe distance physically. As for savings, investments and other movable and immovable properties, and even debts, it is best settled mutually with the help of legal advisors since court settlements prove to add to the high expenses. It is important for Teresa to bear in mind that legal proceedings is a lengthy process which will consider the actual grounds for divorce. The legal process will make it necessary for her to prove George's adulterous and/or irrational behavior. She must therefore get hold of evidence to back her claims and allegations. This aspect could add to her litigation costs as she may have to hire private detectives. She has to make sure that she will be financially secure and capable of handling her children's education and other needs after the divorce. George is obviously not totally uncooperative in his financial obligations in the family, as there is no mention about any lack of financial support from him. On the contrary, he is hard working, loves his work and is doing well financially. However, his alcoholism and behavior makes it probable that his financial contribution in running the house is less than adequate. His actions and intentions do not provide him the chance to capably defend his case. (Legal Implications of Marriage) 7. One More Chance All said and done, as the responsible person in the case, Teresa must leave the door open for negotiation and even out-of-court settlement if possible. It is quite natural that her respect for him has taken a dip. However, in the interests of her children and her own wayward husband himself, the show of magnanimity will undo much damage and even build her up as a person of character and courage. She can approach reputed social organizations, churches, and even experienced counselors for this purpose. In this way, not only she will add to her legal standing and dignity, but also win the respect and recognition in society as a strong and dependable individual capable of taking corrective and compassionate steps even in difficult circumstances. By such actions, she can still apply for legal measures to restrain her husband from causing physical hurt and have him seek psychiatric treatment and rehabilitation. Her all-encompassing approach must be bold and exemplary. It will earn her the respect of her husband and children as well. Living in a fast-paced, competitive environment can be quite unsettling. Society has its share of responsibility and blame for people like George. Fortunately, it has its endeavors and strategies for solutions in the form of governmental, social, religious and interested individuals who are experienced and equipped to deal in the dilemma. There is a good chance of Teresa being able to find her right resource in her struggle to save her family. (Legal Implications of Marriage) 8. Conclusion Although Teresa is going through difficult times, the legal standing of her case is at the nascent stage. This is because of the nature of George's peculiar behavior. Teresa has been able to notice his change in behavior, attitude and alcoholism. However, she has to show more leniency if she has to make her case strong. Her wish to have George leave the family home could make it appear that she wants to drive him away without a penny. Also, he has not physically assaulted her although he has shown his inclination of doing so by pushing her against a wall and holding up his fist to her face. However, she cannot afford to remain silent, since her silence may be misconstrued as weakness by her husband and he may be encouraged to carry on with his aggressive and unreasonable behavior. Hence, she must visit a legal advisor and make it plain to George she will not stand anymore nonsense. She must also enroll for lessons on martial arts to learn defensive measures should George continue to exhibit physical aggressiveness. (Ancillary Relief Information Sheet) Sources: Ancillary Relief Information Sheet, Nockolds Solicitors, http://www.nockolds.co.uk/files/pdfs/family/ancillary_relief.pdf. Civil Partnership Dissolution, Woolley & Co, Solicitors, http://www.family-lawfirm.co.uk/Civil-Partnerships/default.aspx. Divorce And Dissolution Of Civil Partnership, Resolution First For Family Law, http://www.resolution.org.uk/content_files/files/divorce_and_dissolution_of_civil_partnership.pdf. Domestic violence, Crime & Victims, Home Office, http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/crime-victims/reducing-crime/domestic-violence/version=1. Gender Recognition, Ministry of Justice, http://www.justice.gov.uk/whatwedo/genderrecognition.htm. Legal Implications of Marriage, Woolley & Co, Solicitors, http://www.family-lawfirm.co.uk/Divorce-and-Separation/Legal-implications-of-Marriage.aspx. Nullity, Compact Law, http://www.compactlaw.co.uk/tiscali/relatsf5.html. Read More