American Family: Victim of Media Craze - Term Paper Example

American Family: Victim Of Media Craze A definition of a family in a dictionary is given as, “The group comprising a husband and wife and their dependent children, constituting a fundamental unit in the organization of society.” [1] If you add some feelings to this definition you can say that family is a unit where a father and a mother, along with their parents live together in a loving environment to nurture, develop and bring up their children with the intention of making a home happy and beautiful place to live in. Am I defining an American family in my dreams? Because looking at the news and articles in media, it seems that family is not a beautiful place but a hell. But no, I am not dreaming, as no matter what media says, family is a beautiful and loving unit and home is a beautiful place. We are living in a media crazy world. Whatever is shown on the T.V. is considered true even without cross checking the facts or the authenticity of the report. And not just that, but we also blindly believe the interpretations made by the reporters of a particular event. The thing called ‘family’ has become a victim to the malicious reports and the interpretations being made about it in the media. Anne Kress and Suellyn Winkle, editors of Next Text, in their short introduction in the article, “The Changing Landscape of Family”, have portrayed a horrible scenario of the social changes and have gone to an extent of saying that family does not exist. They have used the problems like same sex marriages, children being brought up in live in relationships, separation of family members due migration for job, love or adventure and single parenting, to suggest that families do not exist anymore. But is this a true picture? They have made a comparison to a photograph taken in 1973 of a family showing a happy, content and exciting re-union of a family and they say that this kind of family does not exist. Well, we can only say that this kind of family still does exist. The only difference is that no photographer has taken a good picture enough of today’s American family to win a Pulitzer prize for it! The issues raised by Kress and Winkle are not completely untrue. These issues do make us wonder about the health of the family system. However, failing to understand that the same issues were present even in the 50’s and the 60’ and still the family has survived the challenges is a problem. The issues like single parenting existed even in 60’s and in fact the rate was 20% higher than what it is today( Coontz 99). If we look at this issue with a little bit of positive mentality, we will realize that today’s single mothers are in far better condition than their counterparts in 50’s and 60’s as single mothers of today are at least economically and emotionally independent which was not the case in the past. As far as the issue of migration is concerned, it only stresses the fact that children are fast learners these days. They get educated, get the degrees, get jobs and create their own identities. And how can creating your own identity be harmful for the family life? Staying away does not mean getting negative or forgetful towards a family but in fact can make children realize the importance of the family and relationships and can become a catalyst in making them to feel and decide that even they will become as good as their parents towards their children. Same sex marriages and live in relationships are in increasing trend today. However, nowhere does it become a threat to family. Any unit of father, mother and children who live together in harmony, love and emotional bonding is a family. So it doesn’t matter if the father and the mother are married or not. Media is always in a lookout for a ‘spicy’ and ‘breaking’ news. Violence, murder, rape, sexual abuse, riots and domestic violence serve their purpose of getting a strong and higher viewer ship. This is the reason why media always hypes and consistently telecast the news and ‘stories’ related to violent things. Ehrenreich has described today’s American family as hell. She says that domestic violence, murder by spouse, sexual abuse of children by family members and physical abuse by parents have made home the most dangerous place on the earth [2] . However, where is the data? She has said that women are extremely unsafe in their homes, but does she say, how many women are unsafe or women from what background are unsafe? And on the basis of all these general assumptions, Ehrenreich criticizes the couples, parents and the relationships for being the biggest enemy of their loved ones! But the question is, is it true? Think again. Is it true that families are becoming a butcher house. Can we conclude that just because an American citizen called O.J.Simpson was under trial regarding his wife’s murder, every American husband is a potential killer? Or if we see Oprah Winfrey Show discussing sexual abuse by relatives, we should conclude that every child will get sexually abused by relatives? This kind of generalizations do not make any sense. These sort of assumptions are very unfair towards a man and a woman who love each other, decide to bring a new life in this world and nurture it happily. There are so many things which, when studied, show that in fact the life of a family has taken a positive turn. And this has been proved with the aid of data. The important question is, when we say ‘happy’ family, what do we actually mean? What are the components that make a family a happy one? The aspects of a happy family are healthy and harmonious relationship between parents, parents happy with each other, children getting enough attention, love, encouragement and time from parents, healthy and happy children, nurturing and loving relationship between parents, grandparents and children etc. However, the most important aspect of a happy family is a happy mother. It is an old saying that if a father is educated, then only one member of the family is educated, but when a mother is educated, she educates all the members of the family. She is the important link between all the family members. And here is where Coontz brings some intelligent insight into her argument as to why today’s family is better off than the families in 50’s and 60’s. A mother is a window of the world for a child. He sees and feels the world through his mother. So for a child to grow into a emotionally, mentally and physically healthy human being, it is extremely important for a mother to be emotionally, mentally and physically healthy. And this is possible only when she is independent to take her own decisions and have a liberty to do whatever she wants to do. In the early 1900’s, women had to suffer lots of emotional and physical hardships. They were socially handicap and did not have their own identities. They were not given work and if they got jobs then they were paid so low wages that the poverty drove them to get into prostitution to support their living. Women were denied loans and credit cards as they were not working (Coontz 95). They suffered domestic violence and lack of rights. They were not respected for their hard work and efforts, but instead got neglected and abused by their husbands. Because of this inferior treatment, women were not able to create a harmonious environment at home. The conflict that women went through was observed by their children and they were not able to grow into a harmonious and happy human beings. However, the scene has completely changed today. Women are enjoying freedom of thoughts and actions. They are financially independent and enjoy their own identities (Coontz 98). Because of her financial and emotional independence, she can leave a marriage if she finds it unsatisfactory and discouraging. With an independence she has got, she has more choices. So even if a child gets in a situation where he has to live with a single parent, he is at least brought up in harmony rather than being put through a torture of his mother getting treated badly by his father or vice versa. Living with a single parent who is divorced is always better than living with parents who fight daily and are always under strain. Coontz has put forward a point that even though the divorce rates are increasing, the non custodial parents are staying in touch with the children. Hence the relationship is not hampered in any sense. So a trend of divorces and single parenting cannot be considered a threat to the family. It has been observed that children perform better in every aspect of their life when their mothers are happy (Coontz 98) The independence has helped not just the women and the children but also have created changes in the thinking and the behavior pattern of men. With women sharing the financial responsibility of running a household, men get some relaxed and free time which they spend by being with their children and family. They are getting more involved with child care, home chores and kitchen work. This change has helped them to develop an emotional bonding with their children and spouse and also make them realize what it takes to be a housewife. These are some of the facts that are getting overlooked by those people who think that the families in the 1950’s were better than the families of today. When you talk about a family, you are talking about living human beings who have emotions, desires, feelings, dreams and expectations. So expecting a family which is without tensions, fights, disappointments and outbursts is like expecting them to be a unit of dead people. Let us imagine that I am a girl of 15 and one day, my mother catches me red handed having a sex chat with some stranger on the internet. What do you think she will do? Smile at me, kiss me on my forehead and say, “How nice sweetie?” Obviously not! My mother would definitely shout at me, might even slap me and after she calms down explain the dangers of it. Is this because she hates me? No, this reaction has come out of love and she is afraid that I might get into a trap of sex predator and so she reacted emotionally. We need to understand that a mother is a human being and she also has her fears, expectations and feelings about her child. We know that at the primal level, every human being has animal like nature. Its just because we are civilized that we know how to keep a check on those emotions. Couples have a tendency of getting into heated fight but later they even get into ‘heated’ love making to sort out their differences. What I want to convey here is that a presence of fights, arguments and emotional outbursts in the family should not be judged harshly. Most of the times, children get angry at their parents because of intense love, couple get into fight because they love and care about each other and there are emotional outbursts but they can be nothing but the frustration they experience in their professional life. So when they say that the family does not exist anymore or that family is a hell, they need to think twice about what they are saying. A dozen cases of violence in the family does not prove that millions of families in America are violent. Where does the media go when families have happy times? Where do the reporters go when family members get together for celebrations, hug each other in affection, give encouragement to each other and display unconditional love? Media is only interested in reporting sick things happening around as they are interested in spice. But no matter what media says, American Family is here to stay and more stronger, healthier and happier than before. References Coontz, Stephanie. The American Family. Life November 1999. Kress, Anne, and Winkle, Suellyn. The Changing Landscape of Family, Next Text [1] Definition Of Famiy < http://ardictionary.com/Family/562 >, Retrieved on May 1, 2009. [2] Ehrenreich, Barbara, “Oh those family values” Time Magazine. January 24 2001. Retrieved on May 1, 2009. Read More