The Nine Moods of a Magnificent Manager - Assignment Example

English Topic: Write a creative non-fiction short story The Nine Moods of a Magnificent Manager A management consultant delivers a lecture on the topic, “The Nine Moods of a Magnificent Manager-- How to Challenge the stressful management situations by practical application of the moods.” This seminar is conducted for the benefit of those in the managerial cadre to fine-tune their management skills. The management consultant argues thus: “The subject of management is an overcrowded field. I quote Voltaire (1694-1778) who says that the magnitude of books is making us ignorant. “The major branches of management are financial management, marketing management, human resource management, strategic management, production management, operations management, service management and information technology management. The problem with the present managerial world is there are more books on management topics than the numerical strength of managers all over the world. Is it possible for a management trainee to study all of them and then become a successful manager? The relationship between success and management is like the one between wife and husband who desire to lead a harmonious life but are unable to do so but would not like to divorce either. Management is all about the ability of a Manager to rob the pocket of a gullible commoner/consumer or of another Manager in a competing organization! You all have made hefty payments to attend this one day’s seminar. You have done so with a hope. I congratulate you on your dynamism and your desperate desire to become magnificent managers. By the end of the session, I am sure you will become one and will have no inclination to return to this auditorium yet again. With this training, if you are unable to prove your worth as a magnificent manager, try your luck as a consultant on the topic of management. My formula for success is simple and straightforward. No textbooks and research journals are used in this seminar. No pen, pad or folder will be provided to you. No home assignments either; have a peaceful sleep after this session. Lend me your ears and mind and see how I change your thought processes to chisel an interesting personality to restore your inner cheer and inspiration. Those with whom you interact will remember you forever, for better or worse, depending on your luck. We begin with an important session-- Think that in place of your confused mind, a beautiful garden of roses has emerged with many hues and colors and invigorating fragrance. Think! Nothing is impossible to think! Has it emerged? I can see that in some of you from the expression on your countenance. Make an effort to smile. You are an individual of many moods. Various scriptures have defined nine moods. They are Erotic, Humorous, Pathetic, Terrible, Heroic, Fearful, Odious, Wondrous, and Peaceful. Now, think that you are a performing artist. The wise ones say that this world is a stage, and we are all dancing puppets attached to the strings in the hands of God. Each mood is associated with a particular color. Erotic: Pale Light Green, Humorous: White, Pathetic: Grey, Terrible: Red, Heroic: Pale Orange, Fearful: Black, Odious: Blue, Wondrous: Yellow, Peaceful: White. Some of the top fashion designers and connoisseurs of dress are aware of this weakness of humankind and exploit it to maximize their profits. Now we come to the core part of the discussion. You need to spend some money to secure your future. Buy nine shirts for gentlemen and tops for ladies, of the colors specified above. Only shirts and /tops not trousers or other types of garments! Now, divide your working hours and allot one hour for each mood. Change your shirt/top after one hour and see the remarkable effect in your interactions. I do not ask you to adopt this system in one go. Hasten slowly. Let your session be restricted to some minutes to begin with. So, you will emerge as a complete individual full of delight, a conglomeration in human form of nine moods of eroticism, laughter, sorrow, anger, heroism, fear, disgust, wonder and peace. In management language we call it as ‘harmonious blending of moods.’ By practicing this method you enjoy the essence of your own personality, hitherto not known and hence not experienced by you. One point incidentally. While interacting according to each mood, your facial expressions must change, in tandem with the dialogue delivery. This makes the experiment most exciting and you feel as if you act in a drama. Wish you all good luck. I expect you to begin the process of experiencing your life as Manager of nine moods, from tomorrow. If your experiment is successful, I am sure it is bound to be, you can apply this principle on a permanent basis. For your shirts/tops of 9 different colors, I have an arrangement with a garment seller, who keeps stock of such shirts/tops of all sizes. Take my visiting card, he will give you a discount of 25%; hundreds of my past students have availed the benefit of this scheme.” …..From the Institute of Management Studies, Mr. Tension, Senior Manager in a commercial bank drives to the shop of the garment seller, and buys 9 shirts. The shirts are oversized, Mr. Tension tries one of them, examines his figure in the trial room and he looks like a senior compounder in a hospital, in that off-white shirt, that represents the mood of humor. Mr. Tension argues, pleads for a pure white shirt, but the garment seller convinces him that with washes it will become whiter and he thankfully accepts cash payment less 25% discount. “Why worry about the size? What is important is you need to remain tension-free.” His argument is sound. Tension examines the cash memo of the garment seller carefully with the banker’s insight. The terms and conditions of sale are clearly stated in bold letters: “NO GUARANEE FOR COLOR. GOODS ONCE SOLD CAN NOT BE RETURNED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.” The initial reception to the shirts at home creates immediate tension. “Are these the shirts worth twenty dollars each?” questions Mrs. Tension. “Yes, with 25% discount they are worth fifteen dollars.” “You get plenty of such shirts in the 5 Dollars Shopping Mall.” But, Mr. Tension is in no mood to argue. He is thinking about practicing Humorous Mood to begin the experiment with the new managerial concepts for self-reformation and better administrative control. Getting rid of tension on a long-term basis is more important to him than getting involved in frivolous issues. Mrs. Tension is readying to continue with the arguments. Tension is not! As he moves to the bed room, he hears the roar of the lioness behind him, “I ask you something!” “I hear something!” the lioness-tamer mutters in a feeble voice, not intended to be heard by the cross-examining party and moves in with the treasure of shirts. It contains the secret of his strategies for the future and to get promotions. He spends a sleepless night and eagerly awaits the impending dawn. …. Mr. Tension continues to apply the nine-mood management theory but fails to derive benefit as compared to his earlier practices. He switches over to different moods on an hourly basis. Some fresh complications arise by using the moods, as per the methodology suggested by the management consultant. With faulty application, gender issues crop up. Trade union leaders harden their stance and are in no mood to compromise, and they decide to challenge his style of management. Sometimes he cuts a sorry figure before the important customers while applying the humor mood. Staff members begin to discuss amongst themselves and with the customers that the Manager suffers from attacks of fits. Some customers send complaints to Head Office of the Bank, about the behavior of Mr. Tension. When this news reaches his wife, she wants him to consult a specialist and take leave for two months for rest and recuperation. She thinks some magician must have given those colorful shirts and they are the root cause of all troubles. She takes custody of them and advises her husband to stop dressing like a clown in the drama and revert to the position of normal human being. She is not willing to share the common bedroom with him, until he recovers from the attack of fits. His daughters too are scared of the presence of their Papa. Mr. Tension decides to pay a visit the management consultant to enquire about the second session of the ‘Nine Moods Experiment,’ provided there is going to be any. “Not in this city,” he says grimly. “But your feedback is most welcome. I am available for post-session consultations.” “The nine-moods haven’t helped me to augment my managerial skills. I have messed up with my existing skills. Does this course lead to side-effects?” “Not exactly; go on trying. The nine-shirts purchased by you must live their full life.” “I too wish to live my full life. Do you conduct any other courses without the mood and color formula, where buying of a shirt is not involved? Or shall I revert to study some of the latest management books that have flooded the market?” “No use. …shall I tell you the truth about our course on Nine Moods?” “You dealt with the subject elaborately in the symposium; wasn’t that truth?” “That is part of the truth!” “I think I am entitled to know the full truth, within the amount of tuition fees already paid.” “You are! Listen. You agree that an efficient and noble management is possible though a noble individual. To know the process of becoming a noble individual, I refer you to a Priest.” ……….Mr. Tension reached out to that Priest. He gives Mr. Tension a patient hearing and finally asks, “Do you wish to become a noble individual?” “I do.” “Practice the nine moods in their totality. Apply them as per the demand of the situation. The problem is one applies the right mood at the wrong time, and the wrong mood at the right time. For achieving the right results, one needs to fine-tune the power of discrimination. Then you are able to speak appropriate to the occasion, your actions will be in accordance with your true nature, your anger remains well-controlled and people will accept you as a perfect individual. After your actions reach the level of perfection, for their fructification, you need God’s Grace.” “How God’s Grace can be a management technique?” “Yes. It is the management of all managements and technique through which all techniques are born. It is the ladder that will take one to the desired destination, and all the steps of that ladder are perfect. Nothing will go amiss for such a dedicated and devoted individual.” “What should I do next? How do I begin the process of becoming a noble individual?’ “You are one already; only you need to know it. This Nine Moods seminar has just kindled your curiosity to know the truth. Reach out to a Perfect Master. The audience with Him and interaction should make you understand the futility of traditional management concepts like one point program, two points formula, three points principle, four points time-table, five points charter, six points scheme, seven point’s agenda, eight point summaries, nine point gist, ten point courses etc. “Practice of nine moods should be given up?” “No! With the emergence of the magnificent manager within you after being blessed with God’s grace you will understand their collective importance—their essence I mean.” “Is there a management guide for knowing more about God’s grace?” “Yes,” said the Priest. “There is one and the only one. The title of that unprintable book is “Beyond the Book.” The script of that book is recorded in one’s inner chambers and each one has to decipher and read it through the Inner Eye that needs no looking glasses but the ‘experiencing glasses.’…… It is a great college of self-education where your power of discrimination is your Principal. If you are sincere, God will do the rest! Read More