Becoming Comfortable with Sexual Language - Research Paper Example

? of the Paper s “SEX” was just a three lettered and almost undefined word to me while I was growing up. My parents were not really open to such things and discussing sex, sexuality and other associated issues seemed far-fetched. However, the onetime my mother tried to explain to us about sex, she ended up scaring all of us because instead of making us implore the beauty of sexual bonding between two people, she described sex as an hurtful activity which could not be pleasant at any cost whatsoever. Perhaps, this is one of the reasons I personally abstained from sex till I was much older. The act of any sexual activity and even simple acts of kissing was a total taboo in my family. The onset of puberty when the human body starts changing in various ways in both male and female did initiate a myriad range of questions in my mind because I could not comprehend the occurrence or the need of the changes. However, my questions rested with me alone since I did not think that my mother would appreciate such “nasty” talk. However, this really does not mean that sex itself was a taboo in my family because children were born quite often which in itself implied that the activity was persistent but was a hush-hush one. Now, when I look back and think about it I feel that my parents were just apprehensive about it all along. Perhaps they had assumed that introducing us to sexual activity would just encourage us to indulge in it before appropriate time and perhaps they wanted to protect us from such things for our own good. However, their decision to prohibit sexual and sexuality talks led me into a shy cocoon where I was trapped with hundreds of questions and zero courage to answer them. The first term I heard the term “sex” and could comprehend the embedded meaning, I was already an adult. It was in my adulthood that I learnt most about sex and sexual topics. My friends and I have often discussed about things that we could never talk about with our family before. I became more comfortable discussing about sex related topics and explore my sexuality. Perhaps the fact we friends belonged to the same generation where the liberty of thought and expression is much more prevalent, gave us enough courage to indulge in such talks. We discussed not only about sex but also about things such as masturbation and methods and need to masturbate. We even discussed about pornography. Even my partner was someone who helped me explore the previously prohibited world of sexual activity. My friends and my partner never made sex sound “hurtful” at all and being an open-minded person I embraced all the new knowledge that came my way with utmost enthusiasm. Besides the term “sex”, I was introduced to a plethora of words ranging from female and male sexual organs to words related to intercourse. We often visited book stores and on one of those occasions we came across a book named “Kama sutra”- the ancient Indian book for sex. Kama sutra described everything one possibly wanted to know about sex. There were various positions displayed in it each one giving a brief explanation as to how the position could help reach orgasm. It was certainly something new to us and astonishingly the book described sex as an immensely beautiful thing that helped two people in love come closer to one another. My assumption that sex could not be beautiful and was only a method to create one’s progeny and enlarge one’s family came to an end. It would not be wrong to say that being so frank and open with my same-sex friends and partner; the terms I use to discuss things were identical. Sexual orientation was something that society introduced me too. Gay and lesbian activists left no stone unturned to make their presence felt everywhere and I was not spared either. So, gay, lesbian and bi-sexuality along which tagged words such as threesome and group sex, were some other terms that gave me a whole new outlook on sexual preferences. This was when I started exploring my own sexuality and found that I my sexual orientation was straight and I was open to erotic experiences; however I am not a person who loves to explore too much. The other person with whom I shared talks about sex, contraception etc was my doctor. Obviously the discussion was need based over interest, yet I was never shy to use words and biological terms the slight mention of which would have been enough to pop out my parent’s eyes from their sockets and release steam from their ears; but my doctor, did not even bat an eye-lid which made me feel really comfortable and in fact encouraged me to discuss problems in intricate details. However, with my doctor the terminology was mostly technical for example with friends I could use fuck or boobies but with my doctor I settled with the terms sex and breasts respectively. However, the terms I used with my doctor was much more than I had ever mentioned even in front of my own mother while I was growing up. All in all I had learnt at last that sex, the simple three letter word was a wonderful act of love .However, I have noticed that sex, sexuality and such things are being presented in a very demeaning and almost cheap ways. Sex is being represented in movies, commercials, songs etc but none of them have successfully captured the true essence of this act of passion. Love, romance have been replaced with body need and sheer lust. I truly feel that society is too broad and liberal to the subject. I personally would not want my children to feel that sex is a method to satiate one’s lust. I want them to understand the true meaning behind the act, the need for love while “doing it” and the need for passion behind every move. Therefore, though I did not discuss much with my parents I would not want my children to become adults before understanding that sex is nothing nasty. Through this course I would love to gain more knowledge about the topic and help people change their rigid stance and appreciate the act of sexual activity. I want people to overlook the fact the sex is just a way to obtain pleasure. I agree that though sex gives an unmatched pleasurable feeling, people need to change their attitude towards the topic. Sexual Language Table Instructions: In each box, identify the terms you use with each of the important people in your life. Use your answers to complete the “Becoming Comfortable With Sexual Language” assignment in Week 1. Sexual Communication Exercise Same Sex Peers Partner Parent Doctor Male Genitalia Penis/dick Penis/dick n.a. penis Female Genitalia Boobs and vagina/hole Hole/”there” LOWER PART Vagina/LABIA MAJORA/LABIA MINORA and breasts Intercourse Sex/fuck sex n.a Sexual intercourse REFERENCE Bogart et al M. (2000). Is it “Sex”?: College students' interpretations of sexual behavior terminology. Journal of Sex Research, 37(2), 108-116. Read More