Gender Inequality and Dads Keeping Household - Essay Example

Gender Inequality as it Relates to Stay At Home Dads Introduction At a Democratic convention, Michelle Obama gave an electrifying speech which many considered an ode to her father. "You see, for my dad, thats what it meant to be a man. Like so many of us, that was the measure of his success in life: being able to earn a decent living that allowed him to support his family," (Larson 2012). Larson (2012) also notes “What was true for Michelles father is still true for many men today; a man who can support his family is considered a "real" man”. On the other hand a man who cannot provide for his family is looked down upon by the society. Such a man is considered to be a lesser man (Harrington 2012). However, being a great father does not solely depend on a man’s ability to be a bread winner. Stay-at-home fathers may not make better moms than the real moms but play a very important role in the family (Harrington, Deusen and Ladge 2010). They are better suited at manual jobs and their presence at home helps children grow more confident. This is clearly seen in Field (2006) where Children grow more confident once both parents start spending more time at home. For a long time now, studies on gender inequality have focused mainly on the inequalities women are subjected to, compared to their male counterparts (Fischer 2010). Recent studies however have shown that men too are victims of gender inequality. Stay-at-home fathers for instance are subjected to stigma. The society expects that a man should be out there working (Harrington 2012). The man is expected to be his family’s bread winner. Staying at home with children is largely seen as a woman’s job. Those men who do not conform to this social expectation face stigma and at times even ridicule. Those in support of stay-at-home fathers however point out that even dads can be as good caretakers as the mothers, hence, should not be stigmatized for choosing to stay at home with the children (Harrington, Deusen and Ladge 2010). Discussion Generally, stay-at-home fathers are frowned upon by the society. One factor that makes the society frown at them is that most of them hate their role. They are not care givers by choice but have been forced to take up the role by circumstances (Baylies and Toonkel 2004). Most critics point out that most of them are victims of economic recession hence their commitment to their duty at home is questionable. Most people view stay-at-home fathers as being less masculine. Men who choose to stay at home are constantly exposed to stigma especially from their fellow men. Studies have found that most of them report to have received a negative reaction from their adult friends when they realized that they no longer had formal jobs (Fischer 2010). Men who have lower economic capabilities and choose to stay at home experience more stigmatization that those who are economically able but choose to stay at home. Very few stay-at-home fathers do not experience stigma from their adult peers. Generally stay-at-home fathers experience more social isolation compared to their colleagues who have formal jobs (Larson 2012). Although all stay-at-home parents do experience isolation, stay-at-home fathers experience it more severely than their female counterparts. They are said to be lonelier than both stay-at-home mother as well as employed men. This is because they are more socially isolated by the community. Studies show that most men whose gender identity is threatened respond by engaging in risky behavior. These are behaviors like taking drugs, drinking or even becoming sexually aggressive (Harrington 2012). They are generally more aggressive and violent than men whose masculinity is not threatened. It is more likely for stay-at-home fathers to have a sexual affair compared to those men who work full time hence have higher chances of breaking up their homes. Being a breadwinner is an important component of masculinity. Stay-at-home fathers are economically dependent hence feel that their masculinity is threatened. In an attempt to restore their gender identity, they result to having multiple partners and in the process destabilizing their own homes. Although the role of stay-at-home fathers sounds important, very few in the society appreciate it. The society considers real men to be those men who can provide some income to the family (Baylies and Toonkel 2004). Taking care of kids and the home is not considered as an income generating activity hence earns the man little or no respect from peers and the society. Studies have found that even the stay-at-home fathers themselves do agree that there is a lot of prestige that comes with having a job and providing income for the family. Not being able to provide income causes the society to look down upon the stay-at-home fathers. Traditionally, men are expected to have a job and not to be caregivers. It is important to note however that there are men out there who leave their jobs voluntarily to go take care of their children. These ones do not feel as if their masculinity is being threatened by their position. Consequently they do not feel the need to compensate their loss of masculinity. However, most stay-at-home fathers are victims of economic recession. Very few are stay-at-home fathers by choice, hence the feeling of loss of masculinity. Studies have found that women, other than the wife find stay-at-home fathers sexy. Having a good relationship with other women and a bad one with the wife increases the likelihood that the man will have extra marital affairs. Gender roles have been changing over the last few decades. The western world has witnessed more and more men staying at home to raise children while the women go out to work (Fischer 2010). Young women are coming out as more career-driven compared to the men. Studies have found that more men are choosing fatherhood over careers. However, this new role by men is being frowned upon. This is because the society expects men to stick to their traditional roles of being the provider despite the changes in gender roles. Stay-at-home fathers have a number of advantages. A man being the caregiver leaves the woman more time to progress in her career (Baylies and Toonkel 2004). Studies show that women productivity at work is at par with men until she has children. The need to take care of children brings down her productivity significantly. With a man taking care of the children at home, the woman is able to overcome maternal responsibilities as an impediment to her career growth. Knowing that the home situation is well taken care of makes her more committed to her work hence she becomes more promotable and more competent. This is clearly seen in Dragoti (1983) when Jack takes becomes a stay-at-home father. Once the employer realizes that the woman is not the primary caregiver at home, he will be more interested I facilitating her career advancement. The current rise in the number of stay-at-home fathers has led to increased awareness of the need for men to play a bigger role in parenting. Although men are not likely to swap roles with women soon, they are now dedicating more time to their children, thanks to stay-at-home fathers. As spousal expectations of man’s role change, more and more men are changing their involvement to match the expectations. Another important role that stay-at-home fathers play is challenging stereotypes associated with gender roles. Traditionally, men have been judged by their career success and their ability to be breadwinners for their families (Cheryl and Marion 2011). Stay-at-home fathers have played a major role in challenging this stereotype. It has been psychologically difficult to let go of the provider role in the family but with the rise in the numbers of men who choose to be at home, it is becoming less difficult. Studies have found that it is economically viable for one parent to stay at home if his earnings are not enough to cater for day care services. In some situations, the dad may feel that his personality is more suited for him to remain home and tend to the needs of the children as opposed to the mother. This comes as an advantage not only to the kids but to the family as a whole. Conclusion Most couples believe that having a parent at home is the best way to take care of the interests of the family. A good number of these parents have negative attitude towards day care (Cheryl and Marion 2011). This leaves having a parent at home as one of the few options available. Depending on the prevailing circumstances at home, the man is chosen to be the one to remain at home. The idea of stay-at-home fathers have been gaining popularity over the last few years and there are signs that its popularity will continue to rise (Baylies and Toonkel 2004). It has a number of benefits to the community although, to a large extent, the practice is still frowned upon by the society. There are several factors that discourage more men from taking up the role though. These include stigma and social isolation. The society still expects men to be the main bread winners. A man’s masculinity is to a large extent measured by his ability to generate income for his family. This makes stay-at-home fathers very unattractive to men as it does not generate income. References Baylies, Peter and Toonkel, Jessica. 2004. The Stay-At-Home Dad Handbook. Chicago: Chicago Review Press. Brad, Harrington. 2012. The new dad: Right at home. Retrieved April 26, 2014 http://www.bc.edu/content/dam/files/centers/cwf/pdf/The%20New%20Dad%20Right%20at%20Home%20BCCWF%202012.pdf Buehler, Cheryl and OBrien, Marion. 2011. “Mothers part-time employment: Associations with mother and family well-being”. Journal of Family Psychology, Vol. 25(6), 895-906 Harrington, Brad, Van Deusen, Fred, & Ladge, Jamie. 2010. The New Dad: Exploring Fatherhood within a Career Context. Chestnut Hill, MA: Boston College Center for Work & Family. Jessica Fischer. 2010. Stay-at-home fathers: the new gender benders. Retrieved April 26, 2014 http://scholars.indstate.edu/bitstream/10484/1166/1/Fischer,%20Jessica%20Lynn.PDF Larson Vicki. 2012. The Downside of Being a Stay-At-Home Dad? Retrieved April 26, 2014 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-larson/do-stayathome-dads-cheat_b_1859860.html Stan, Dragoti, Dir. 1983. Mr. Mom [Film] Georgia: Sherwood Productions, Todd, Field, Dir. 2006. Little Children [film]. Los Angeles: New Line Cinema. Read More