Learning More About Same-Sex Families - Assignment Example

The world today comprises of different family types and efforts are being made to strengthen the security and stability of diverse households and families. The US census findings suggest that the majority of people, regardless of their sexual and gender identities, do not live in traditional nuclear families (Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 2006). At the same time, it has also been estimated that between 1 and 9 million children in the United States have at least one parent that is gay or lesbian (Perrin, 2002). The lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) movement in the US has taken a serious turn as the same sex couples fights for their rights while facing legal, societal and emotional challenges. The LGBT are afraid and anxious about their economic futures. This paper would evaluate the condition of the same sex family types and the challenges they face today. Marriage defines the family and marriage establishes parenthood. Marriage creates paternal authority and marriage determines the father (Baskerville, 2006). According to this view, same sex marriages would serve no useful purpose. However, traditional marriage and family values keep changing as the society does (Barlow, 2009). Gay marriages have not yet become a tradition but it is now legalized in many countries, including the United States. Just because the ‘straight’ people do not approve of gay marriages, is no reason to outlaw or disapprove such marriages. Incest in the western society can be termed tradition and so were bride beating and dowries. In which case, same sex marriages provide a better family environment than such straight or traditional families. This has perhaps promoted the authorities to legalize same sex marriages in several states in the United States. The same sex families are unique because the environment in such families is less chaotic than is believed to be. This has been challenged but research suggests otherwise. Perrin (2002) emphasizes that the desire to parent a child is a basic human instinct and it satisfies the desire to leave a mark behind for having discharged the responsibility of perpetuating the family. Children satisfy the desire to accept and provide love, and may also provide support and care during their older years. The concerns about finance, responsibilities and parenthood haunt even the heterosexual parents and hence there is nothing different what the same-sex parents encounter. The lesbian and gay parents do face a challenge – to adopt or conceive a child. They can either obtain a donor sperm or arrange for a surrogate mother. They also confront with emotional pain and restrictions imposed by discriminatory regulations. When they adopt a child, only the adoptive or biological parent is recognized as the parent. The other partner may function as a co-parent but has no legal rights over the child. According to Dr. Eric Nelson, a clinical psychologist, same-sex couples are just as effective in raising healthy, well-adjusted children as opposite-sex couples (Gleason, 2010). The children of gay and lesbian parents have been found to be at least as well adjusted as those of other parents. Same sex couples enjoy the same long-term relationships that ‘straight’ couples do. These relationships function in the same way as do the other relationships. They have the same problems and breakdowns; they experience the same relationship satisfaction. The opponents argue that both father and mother are necessary for a healthy adult. They argue that the children should learn how the two sexes differ and are yet complimentary. Perris (2002) argues that conflicts in same sex families are far less than other marriages which have a positive effect on the children. Heterosexual families face tensions, separations, and reorganization after parental divorce but the same sex families have not experienced these transitions. Legal justifications and social beliefs have given rise to the assumption that children of same sex parents would experience stigmatization, poor peer relationships, behavioral and emotional problems and abnormal psychosexual development. Gay fathers are known to adhere to stricter disciplinary guidelines than do heterosexual fathers and they place greater emphasis on guidance and development of cognitive skills. Gleason (2010) endorses this claim of Perrin. Gleason found that a lesbian couple prefers to explain things to their child rather than scold her. They feel that the child should know the difference between right and wrong and then act. They should not be forced to act based on the consequences. They have an open relationship where the child feels comfortable to approach either parent. The same sex parents feel that it is better to ignore who hate them and not retaliate. They are concerned with what satisfies them in life. Thus, the same-sex families try to maintain a balance in the family environment which is becoming rare in heterosexual families. In the state of Oklahoma, same sex couples are barred from adopting children while single gay is permitted to do so. When gay and lesbian parents decided to adopt a child, they need to spend time on reflection, they need to attend counseling sessions, and they must be financially prepared for the responsibility (Gleason, 2010). But then, these are issues that opposite sex couples also need to reflect upon before adopting a child or deciding to have a child. In same sex marriages, when one of the lesbians delivers a child conceived through artificial insemination, the other parent’s name is not printed on the birth certificate. Sociologists confirm that children of same sex parents are no more likely to suffer from psychological problems than children raised in ‘straight’ families. This has been endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association and other mainstream organizations (Rubin, 2009). The daughter of a lesbian mother grew up well-educated and straight. At 35, she is wife, mother and teacher although children of lesbian parents are considered to be disturbing. The opponents feel that such families have chaotic culture that will ruin the children. They put forth the argument that children of divorce suffer much more than children brought up in two-parent straight families. Thus, the same sex marriage homes lack the stability to provide emotional support to the children. The social scientists have too few samples of same sex marriages but the empirical data do not demonstrate adverse effects. According to them the parents’ sexual orientation is not the main factor. What matters is the relationship between the parents and the consistency in the upbringing of the child. The children do face embarrassment from their peers but then it is up to the parents of such children to prepare them and make them bold to face such situations. Parenting in such families remains an emotional and the political environment has become harsher. Such families are invalidated and homosexuality discriminated. Robson (2008) reviews the book, Families of Affinity, by Nancy Polikoff. Robson finds that some argue that families of affinity can survive and exist even without the legal marriage. However, such families face challenges in the eyes of the law. For instance, a lesbian mother was held in contempt of court for allowing her lesbian partner to spend the night while her children are visiting, although the women were having civil union. When a gay man was killed in the World Trade Center, the benefits were awarded to his father whom the gay man had not seen for 20 years rather than awarding the benefits to his partner of 14 years. In yet another tragedy when a lesbian mother is diagnosed of breast cancer the partner is not permitted to provide insurance or become a legal parent to their child. Such injustices could be avoided if same sex couples were tied in legal marriages. The children of same sex parents also face challenges in employment. They are perceived negatively on the interpersonal level, their interviews are less comprehensive and generally denied employment (Avery, Chase, Johansson, Litvak, Montero & Wydra, 2007). This affects their job opportunities and access to equal employment. It thus limits their ability to provide for their families and partners. Even as political candidates they face challenges and are less likely to be elected. Even though a majority of Americans consider homosexuality as morally wrong, a growing majority is against restricting the civil liberties of gay and lesbian people (Brumbaugh, Sanchez, Nock & Wright, 2008). There is a shift in the attitude as people have moved from negativity towards liberalism. Concerns over individual rights and choice as human beings are taking precedence over marriage, sex and gender issues. This has reshaped the public attitude towards greater support of gay rights. Gay and lesbian individuals and organizations have been using the courts and the law to advance their cases for gay marriages. In some states where the state has not legalized, the schools have been extending health benefits to same-sex partners of teachers and employees. Other employers in New Hampshire have also extended health-insurance to same sex couples including at three corporations and two schools (Avery et al., 2007). Non medical issues such as inheritance rights have been in the forefront of the political agenda in Georgia where the surviving partner of gay or lesbians is granted the same inheritance rights. Public support is favoring some form of legal recognition for same sex couples. Laws regarding custody and adoption differ across states, and overall the same sex couples have less protection than heterosexual couples. Thus, it can be seen that same sex families differ from the traditional concept of a family or marriage as both parents belong to the same sex. Same-sex couples or families have been facing resistance from the public. They are discriminated against in the courts of law, in employment, and the children too face embarrassment among the peers. There are opinions that same sex family environment is not conducive to the growth and upbringing of healthy children. However, research suggests that same-sex parents are as competent to nurture children as the straight couples are. In fact, in straight marriages, broken families and divorce impact the emotional stability of the child, which is a rare phenomenon in same sex families. Many states in the US have their own laws concerning the adoption and marriages of gay and lesbians. Some states have formed their own conventions of permitting health and insurance benefits to the partners of gay employees. The public opinion and attitude has undergone change in the US on the issues related to the gay and lesbian rights. Preference is given to individuals over marriages and institutions. This has provided greater support to the rights of gays. This suggests that in future, by 2020, the acceptance of such family types would become a tradition as the straight marriages. References: Avery,A., Chase, J., Johansson, L., Litvak, S., Montero, D., & Wydra, M. (2007). Americas Changing Attitudes toward Homosexuality, Civil Unions, and Same-Gender Marriage: 1977-2004. Social Work. 52 (1), 71 Barlow, G. (May 8, 2009). OPINION: Traditional marriages. McClatchy - Tribune Business News. Washington. Retrieved October 8, 2010, from ABI/INFORM Dateline. (Document ID: 1703765291). Baskerville, S. 92006). Politics and Same-Sex Marriage. Social Science & Modern Society. NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2006. 44 (1), 60-67 Brumbaugh, S.M., Sanchez, L.A., Nock, S.L., & Wright, J.D. (2008). Attitudes Toward Gay Marriage in States Undergoing Marriage Law Transformation. Journal of Marriage and Family. 70, 345-359 Gleason, M. (Jan 10, 2010). Same sex family: Effective in raising well-adjusted children. McClatchy - Tribune Business News. Washington. Retrieved October 8, 2010, from ABI/INFORM (Document ID: 1936240421). Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. (2006). Beyond Same-Sex Marriage: A New Strategic Vision for All Our Families and Relationships. Studies in Gender and Sexuality. 9, 161-171 Perrin, E.C. (2002). Technical Report: Coparent or Second-Parent Adoption by Same-Sex Parents, Pediatrics. Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Retrieved October 8, 2010 from http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/reprint/109/2/341 Robson, R. (2008). Families of Affinity. Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage: Valuing all Families Under the Law. Womens Review of Books. 25 (4), 12 Rubin, B.M. (Feb 18, 2009). Gay parents rights issue divides U.S., not families: Sociologists find that children of gays are no more likely to suffer from psychological problems than kids raised in conventional homes. McClatchy - Tribune Business News. Washington. Retrieved October 8, 2010, from ABI/INFORM Dateline. (Document ID: 1646909061). Read More