Sexual Addiction - Coursework Example

 Introduction The notion of sex-addiction can be traced back to the 1970s when psychologist Patrick Carnes compared it with compulsive gambling (Beck, 2008). It was believed that addicts were those who could not control their behavior and continued despite negative consequences spending excessive amount of time I pursuing the behavior. When people engage in sexually compulsive behavior even when they cannot afford it and when it starts affecting their marriage and regular life, it is said to be an addiction. It is believed that about 3-5% Americans engage in sexually compulsive behavior. The internet has become a new platform for people to enhance their sexual activities. While there are three different factors – accessibility, affordability and anonymity – that have increased online sexual activity (Young, 2008), it is the inherent latent desires in men and women that give rise to compulsive sexual behavior termed as sexual addicts. Sentenced outline and thesis statement After defining sexual addiction and discussing the ill-effects of such an addiction, this paper argues that the proliferation of internet has brought out the latent desires in both men and women making them sexual addicts. Definition – sexual addiction Sexual addiction is known by various terms such as sexual compulsion, sexual impulsivity and nonparaphilia related disorders (Griffiths, 2004). Sex on the Net is known among the psychologists as the crack cocaine of sex addiction (Thompson, 2000). It becomes an addiction when the current level of activity is more satisfying and as tolerance develops people try to find newer and more unusual sexual experiences. However, when people stuck with unhappy relationships visit massage parlors or turn to the internet to satisfy their urges, it should not be treated as an addiction (Beck, 2008). Addicts are narcissists – since they are unable to generate their own feelings of self-worth, they seek external validation. They are emotionally starved and try to overcome their shortcomings through sexual indulgence. Those who were neglected or abused or exposed to illicit images as children become addicts. Sexual addiction is different from excessive sex and it is known as addiction when it deviates from social norms (Griffiths, 2004). Addiction is a term that is used so freely that it has rendered the term meaningless. Besides, female forms of excessive sex are viewed more negatively than male forms because of the double standards existing in the society. Sex addicts are unable to stop their self-destructive sexual behavior and they often tend to ignore the severe emotional, interpersonal and physical consequences of their behavior. Hence any compulsive behavior that interferes with normal living has been described as an addiction. Behavioral patterns of sexual addicts Sex addiction has recognizable behavior patterns – out-of-control sexual behavior, frequent mood changes, indulgence in masturbation, pornography, and constant affairs with different partners, and an inability to stop these despite adverse consequences (Griffiths, 2004). People who look at internet porn for more than 11 hours per week are labeled compulsive users and going by this statistics in 2000, in the US about 200,000 were internet sex addicts (Turpin, 2006). People start spending significant amounts of time in chat rooms and private messaging with the sole purpose of finding some porn site or cybersex. The use of anonymous communication conceals their identities and users engage in sexual fantasies not found in real life. They look forward to the next online session with finding some satisfying experience (Young, 2008). Most importantly they feel guilt or shame about their online sexual addiction. Damages caused by sexual addiction Sexual addiction can result in loss of relationships, loss of interest in anything that is not sexual, low self-esteem and despair (Griffiths, 2004). It can also result in unwanted pregnancies, abortions, suicidal attempts, exposure to sexually transmitted diseases and legal risks. People who seek sex partners over the internet stand a greater chance of contacting AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. This was found by a federal study when a syphilis outbreak could be traced to people who met in internet chat room (WSJ, 2000). It also disrupts marriage and intimate dating relationships (Young, 2008). Treatment of sex addiction through antidepressants as it can ease feelings of worthlessness and dampen sexual urges (Beck, 2008). Proliferation of the internet Internet is increasingly being used as a sexual outlet and has many implications. Internet has altered the patterns of social communications and sex is the most frequently searched topic on the internet. Convenience of online pornography and adult porn sites has made sex easily accessible thereby turning infrequent or casual visitors into compulsive users. The online pornography industry is over a $1bn and over half of all spending on the internet is related to sexual activity (Griffiths, 2004) which has grown to $2.5bn by 2006 (Turpin, 2006). Today online versions of magazines like Playboy are easily available in addition to pornographic picture libraries, videos and video clips, live strip-shows and live sex-shows. Users on the internet engage in sexually explicit adult chat rooms (Young, 2008). Several fantasy-role play rooms on the internet allow people to experiment and explore sexual feelings and indulge in sexual fantasies. The internet has now transformed from a practical business or search drive to a modern day sex toy. Internet conceals identity which makes people more prone to use this platform to satisfy their sexual urges (Griffiths, 2004). It has become a new medium of expression that has increased participation because of the anonymity factor. It is not surprising then that high-flying professionals approach consultants fearing that their addiction will cost them their jobs (Turpin, 2006). Distress and repression leads to compulsive behavior Men are more prone to pornography than women and men use the internet to get aroused than by their partner. For many men clicking on porn sites on the internet is an idle pastime and it is not because they are lonely, or perverse or do not have any relationships. A man maybe having healthy sexual relations with his partner but he is still addicted to these sites. He himself feels distressed but it has to do something with an internal emptiness wanting to fill up dead space. However, addiction of any kind is always destructive (Turpin, 2006). Turpin contends that is not the ease of porn materials on the internet but the dissatisfaction that the internet promotes that has made people get addicted to it. When people click on an image, they are not satisfied and click on another and yet another in search of that perfect picture to attains satisfaction. Men want to remain in an isolated world which ultimately depresses them. This suggests the inner loneliness in a person trying to find temporary comfort through such activities. Griffiths also suggests that men with repressed desires become compulsive users and for them it is a survival mechanism involving dissociative reenactment. This means that a person may engage in illicit sexual behavior online but has no discomfort or dissonance in going to bed with the spouse. Addiction is a craving, without which the person cannot survive. If he does not engage in sexual behavior online, he will not be able to have a satisfactory experience with the spouse. Hence such online behavior reinforces his confidence as he finds an outlet of expression for his suppressed desires. People with latent desires become addicts after their first encounter with the fantasy world that internet has enabled. A teacher and a grandmother, who had never been able to express are act upon her desire to be controlled by men found herself getting involved with the online adult chat rooms (Young, 2008). She had so far led a very conservative life and conformed to the teachings of the Church till she went online and discovered this new world. She had always desired to be dominated by men but she feared she would lose the respect of the men she dated. Because of anonymity people have a unique environment to explore hidden or repressed fantasies as they feel encouraged by the cyberspace culture. They also use such engagements to escape from the problems and anxieties in real life. Even though initially they just use this as a means to escape, over time they get addicted to it and find that they are unable to come out if. It serves as a temporary distraction to fill an emotional void. The compulsive behavior reduces the underlying tensions and it is less about using the internet as a tool but more about finding it as psychological escape to cope with feelings. In fact a significant proportion of online users have pre-existing sexual compulsions or addictions that now find a new outlet (Griffiths, 2004). Hence, when this new outlet allows anonymity, they indulge in it to the extent that they become addicts and are then unable to come out of it even if they want to. Anonymity also allows a person to overcome interpersonal problems specially those who suffer from low esteem. There are men who express amazement because they never thought that they would ever be interested in pornography. Many often stumble on such sites by accident and then get hooked on to it till they find it has become an addiction. Even students sitting in their dorm rooms and computer labs have access to such images despite filters (Young, 2008). For such people this is the first expression of an addictive disorder, which progresses gradually and has the same effect as of crack cocaine when the user first used cocaine. Even if people discover online pornography content by accident on the internet, it gradually becomes a compulsive obsession. Just as an alcoholic is driven to drink more when he is under tension or emotional stress, a sexual addict is driven by painful states of tension and agitation. The addict becomes so preoccupied with the computer that he wants to remain always online. The addict is also aware that his or her activities should not be known to others and they are also aware of the potential dangers but are unable to escape. What they do online is a source of nurturing, the focus of energy and an origin of excitement (Young, 2008). The online sexual addiction provides them relief from pain and anxiety. It is as if they have been rewarded and they find it an easy escape from other emotional issues in personal life. It is an altered state of consciousness where normal behavior is replaced by excitement and relief from troubles associated with the internet. Addicts find a refuge in engaging in such acts as they retreat into the computer even to avoid life’s responsibilities. The fact that people feel guilt or shame about their online sexual addiction suggests that there is some emptiness which they are trying to conceal. Conclusion This paper has discussed the reasons why sexual addiction takes place in the first place and how the proliferation of internet has given people a new outlet for expression. This paper has not discussed the various forms of treatment and therapy that can be provided to the sexual addicts. Moreover, this paper only discusses the adult behavior and has not taken into account the teenagers or the adolescents’ sexual addiction online. Sexual addicts become addicts mostly due to some repressed desires or illicit childhood experiences. Most often the addicts may not even be aware that they have such desires hidden within them but when they accidentally discover porn sites on the net, they start pursuing it. It gradually becomes a compulsive behavior from which there is no escape. Sometimes addicts have expressed amazement at their behavior which confirms that they were not aware that they had such desires hidden within them. Most addicts find it difficult to come out if it when they want to and most express guilt or shame. Addicts find the internet and the online sexual addiction an easy escape from the tensions and responsibilities of life. Availability, accessibility and affordability are definitely factors that have induced such behavior but unless an individual has such repressed desires or feelings, they would have been able to control the drive to engage in such acts. They are attracted to it, they are driven to it, they cannot survive without it and gradually they reach a point when they realize that is disturbing their life and family relationships but are unable to come out of it. This is sexual addiction which perhaps has always existed but has received attention in recent years due to the availability of expression through the internet. Reference: Beck, M. (2008, September 30). Is Sex Addiction a Sickness, Or Excuse to Behave Badly? Wall Street Journal (Eastern Edition), p. B.9. Retrieved May 30, 2009, from ABI/INFORM Global database. (Document ID: 1563795331). Griffiths, M. (2004). Sex Addiction on the Internet. Retrieved May 30, 2009 from http://www.janushead.org/7-1/Griffiths.pdf Thompson, N. (2000). Sex in the digital city. The Washington Monthly; Jul/Aug 2000; 32, 7/8; ABI/INFORM Global, pg. 27 Turpin, A. (2006, April 1). Not tonight darling, I'm online When pornography met the internet the result was as instantly addictive as crack cocaine - in the US alone 70 per cent of young men log on in search of porn every month. But what does the rise of accessible virtual sex mean for flesh-and- blood relationships:[SURVEYS EDITION]. Financial Times, p. 16. Retrieved May 30, 2009, from ABI/INFORM Global database. (Document ID: 1013662521). WSJ. (2000, July 26). Surfing for Sex on the Web May Increase AIDS Risk. Wall Street Journal (Eastern Edition), p. B.10. Retrieved May 30, 2009, from ABI/INFORM Global database. (Document ID: 56903292). Young, K. S. (2008). Internet Sex Addiction: Risk Factors, Stages of Development, and Treatment. American Behavioral Scientist, 52 (21), 21-37 Read More