The Bond of Holy Matrimony - Essay Example

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, and Then Comes a Baby in a Baby Carriage! Introduction The most sacred bond that two people can be enjoyed together with is the bond of holy matrimony. In a matrimonial ceremony or a wedding, the phrase "to honor, love and cherish... until death do you part" is commonly heard as a seal of their approval and love. To most people, this is the end of their bachelorhood days and the new beginning of a future that is to be spent with their spouse as they start a family. The love and commitment that brings a couple together can grow and eventually become stronger. Gay marriages or marriages between two people with the same sex have been a very controversial issue within the United States since the early 1970s. The main question that often arises on gay marriages is whether or not it is right to make marriages between the same sex legal or not. Although there are some states in the U.S. that permits, recognize or fighting for a legal matrimonial bonding between the same sex1, there are still a lot of institutions and places throughout the United States that strongly oppose and does not recognize the legality of same sex marriage. This issue aside from many others makes gay marriages a typical subject of debate. Personally, I believe that homosexual couples have the right to be married as couples. In order to determine whether it is best to legalize gay marriages within the United States or not, it is necessary to define the real meaning of matrimonial marriage in the United States aside from examining and analyzing the issue on human rights, the different point-of-views coming from different significant sectors such as religion, politics, and the social welfare including the actual experiences of other countries that has already legalized the same sex marriage in the past. By weighing the advantages and disadvantages of legalizing gay marriages all over the United States, it would be easier to conclude as to why it is necessary to permit gay marriages in the country. Definition of a Matrimonial Contract in the United States Based on the U.S. Code, the true meaning of a traditional marriage is “a legal binding of a man and a woman as husband and wife wherein ‘spouse’ refers to the person of the opposite sex as either the husband or the wife” (Cornell Unviersity Law School; Goldberg). Similar to the definition provided in the U.S. code, the Catechism of the Catholic Church (1603) states that “the vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator” (Wiker). Homosexual Couples Should Have the Right to be Married as Couples ‘Human rights’ are all about the basic rights and freedom of all humans wherein ‘human rights’ is not limited to the freedom of expression and speech but also includes the issue on social rights and justice particularly on gender equality. Most people just believe that equal rights should be for everyone and not a gender-biased. According to Lorri L. Jean – the chief executive of the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center, gays and lesbians are also humans who deserve an equal right and treatment from other people. Aside from the basic human needs, gays and lesbians also has the right to decide on whether they want to raise their own family or to enter into a marriage contract with anyone whom they wish to spend their life with. (Jean) On the contrary, Ron Prentice – the chief executive of the California Family Council argues that basic human rights for all does not mean that it has to include the right of homosexual to marry because of the fact that legalizing gay marriages could destroy the historical structure and image of a society wherein the husband and wife should procreate and eventually raise their children at home as father and mother (Prentice). Based on the survey that was conducted by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life on gay marriage and civil union, 59% opposed to allow gays and lesbians to be legally married and 51% opposed giving legal arrangements to gay marriages. (The Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life) In line with this matter, ex-president George W. Bush has once declared that “we should prevent any changes in the true meaning of marriage between a man and a woman because it could weaken the good influence of our society.” (You Tube) Three days after President Bush’s speech some time in August 2004, Jason West – New Paltz Mayor, conducted the first legal marriage in New York arguing that “the law in the United States is gender neutral.” (You Tube) Therefore, there should not be any limitations with regards to gender neutrality or equality on matrimonial ceremonies. Even though the number of people who are opposing on gay marriages is relatively high, the survey result conducted by Pew Forum revealed that the number of people who are in favor and oppositing gay marriages among the younger generation between the age bracket of 20 – 35 are almost equal. It simply means that there is still a posibility that eventually gay marriages will be publicly accepted in the United States. Because of broken marriages between a man and a woman, it has been a long time that we are failing to retain the type of patriarchal family that we used to have. Based on the research made by Jennifer Wolf – a Certified Parent Coach tried to support and equip parents through writing, speaking, and individual coaching for better parenting practices, “there are approximately 13.6 million single parents in the United States today who are responsible for raising 21.2 million children –approximately 26% of children under 21 in the U.S. today" (Wolf). Discussion It is not fair to say that only heterosexual possess the matrimonial right to love each other. Even though there are some people who are strongly against the same sex marriage, homosexuals should also be given the chance to love their significant others. As a human being, homosexuals have the right to show their love and commitment to their partner. Unfortunately, homosexual couples are still face struggles in order for them to be widely accepted within the society. Similar to how women have fought for their rights to equal justice with men in terms of having equal rights to education and work among others (Human Rights Watch), failure to win the public acceptance on same sex relationship could only strengthen their love and willingness to stay with one another. Because of true love, there are a lot of relationships between homosexual couples that manages to survive. The Netherlands is the first country that legally acknowledges same sex marriages. (Russel) Regardless of gender, I believe that anyone who is capable of loving another person strong enough to make for them to make a big step towards a matrimonial ceremony. With that all the negative comments coming from the religious groups, gay couples should be able to marry and eventually adopt children if the couple decided that they are responsible enough to take care of a child. We have mentioned that marriage is a commitment of love and dedication which can lead to raising a family together. Many people believe that the only way to raise a child normally are those couples who can be seen as a mother and a father. Contrary to the traditional belief of a family setting, any home that has two loving parents has a good base for familial success. Considering a person’s ability to teach rule, and create boundaries for the children, gays and lesbians are no different with heterosexual beings. Regardless of gender, it is important for each parent to give enough time with a child to guide them with good moral and outlook in life as they grow. Unfortunately, the lawmakers in some states like Florida are against homosexual parents who prefer to foster children (Salinero). There are a lot of single parents who work long hours to support the needs of their family members. It simply means that single parent regardless of whether the parent is a mother or a father literally leave their children unattended just for the sake of earning money. For this reason, it is unfair or even unethical to assert that gay or lesbian couples are less fit parents than the millions of single parents. Gay and lesbian parents are just as (or more) fit to care for these children because they can provide a love and commitment to their adopted child. When raised by homosexuals, the child’s development is not much different than a child raised by heterosexual couples. Homosexual parents still have their ability to rule and take care of a homeless child. Because of the growing public concern about homosexual parenting, the Americas Psychological Association (APA) has done a lot of research studies based on the gathered facts on human nature. Upon analyzing, and comparing children raised by homosexual and heterosexual parents, it has been noted by APA "no developmental differences between the two groups of children in four critical areas: their intelligence, psychological adjustment, social adjustment, and popularity with friends" (APA Help Center; Wilkinson and Kitzinger). Many people are concerned with the ability of homosexual couples in terms of raising children. Most of them believe that the gayness of homosexual couples would "rub off" or be transferred to their children. Basically, there are no significant evidences that can prove the sexual orientation of parents would indicate their childrens sexual orientation. In fact, we have seen some heterosexual couples who were able to raise gays and lesbians as their child. This is clear to see, by looking at heterosexual parents, which have reproduced, raised their offspring, and now are todays homosexuals. There is another big negative stigma surrounding homosexual parents and that is the link of gay men to pedophilia. Regardless of whether the sexual orientation of each person is heterosexual or homosexual, it is a mental flaw in human-kind to link gay men with pedophilia even without concrete evidences. Conclusion Personally, I know my sexual orientation as heterosexual. For this reason, I do not understand exactly how gay people feel about the issue on gay marriage because I am certainly not in the situation to experience what they are currently go through right now. However, as a human being, I strongly believe that homosexual couples should be given equal rights to marriage provided that the couples are serious about having a lifetime commitment towards one another. I have personally seen a lot of man and woman marriages wherein the woman is either constantly beaten up by the husband or is being cheated by having a relationship with another woman. Although marriages between heterosexual couples are legally accepted worldwide, the fact that the woman does experience physical harm from their spouse and/or emotional burden because of men’s polygamous nature does not literally make the traditional marriage right. For several years, I have been observing a lot of good relationship between the same sex couples who are really bounded and committed to each other. For this reason, I strongly believe that there is no need to ban or prohibit two people who loves each another because of gender issues. By allowing the same sex couples to enter into marriage, there is a stronger possibility that millions of the homeless children will be given the opportunity to receive love and care from people who are willing to sacrifice for them. Not only would the homeless child be given the opportunity to receive parental love and guidance from homosexual couples, the child will also be given the opportunity to be raised normally not only with good food and shelter but also some proper education. Heterosexual and homosexual parents are both equally qualified to perform the task of parenting. By allowing these people to have a fair opportunity to become parents, more children will be properly treated and be raised by a family. Considering the parenting abuse that were done by some of the heterosexual couples, legally allowing loving homosexual couples the equal rights to marriage and foster a child could instantly change the lives of the homeless children. *** End *** Total Number of Words: 2,040 References: "APA Help Center." 2004. Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality. 10 April 2009 . "Cornell Unviersity Law School." 2009. U.S. Code Collection - § 7. Definition of “marriage” and “spouse. 10 April 2009 . Goldberg, Suzanne B. "A Historical Guide to the Future of Marriage for Same-Sex Couples." Columbia Journal of Gender & Law (2006): Vol. 15, pp. 249 - 272. "Human Rights Watch." 2009. Womens Rights. 10 April 2009 . Jean, Lorri L. "Los Angeles Times - Opinion." 31 June 2007. Changing Views on Marriage: The Arc of Justice. 10 April 2009 . Prentice, Ron. "Los Angeles Times. Opinion." 6 August 2007. The future of marriage. Ten years from now, what will the state of marriage be in the United States? California Family Councils Ron Prentice and L.A. Gay and Lesbian Centers Lorri L. Jean conclude their debate on same-sex marriage. 10 April 2009 . Russel, Katharine. "Netherlands Becomes First Nation to Allow Same-Sex Marriages." Lesbian News (2001): Vol. 26, No. 10, p. 16. Salinero, Mike. "msnbc." 18 March 2009. Gays Fight For Adoption. 10 April 2009 . SlackinWhileSleepin. "Everything 2." 24 January 2002. Homosexual Adoption. 10 April 2009 . "The Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life." 2009. Part 2. Gay Marriage. 10 April 2009 . Wiker, B.D. 2009. The meaning of marriage. 10 April 2009 . Wilkinson, Sue and Celia Kitzinger. "Same-Sex Marriage and Equality." Psychologist (2005): Vol. 18, Part 5, pp. 290 - 293. Wolf, Jennifer. "Single Parents." n.d. Single Parent Statistics. 10 April 2009 . "You Tube." 2008. Will and Right: Religion Politics and Gay Marriage - Full. 10 April 2009 . Read More

On the contrary, Ron Prentice – the chief executive of the California Family Council argues that basic human rights for all do not mean that it has to include the right of homosexual to marry because of the fact that legalizing gay marriages could destroy the historical structure and image of a society wherein the husband and wife should procreate and eventually raise their children at home as father and mother (Prentice).

Based on the survey that was conducted by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life on gay marriage and civil union, 59% opposed allowing gays and lesbians to be legally married and 51% opposed giving legal arrangements to gay marriages. (The Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life) In line with this matter, ex-president George W. Bush has once declared that “we should prevent any changes in the true meaning of marriage between a man and a woman because it could weaken the good influence of our society.” (YouTube) 

Three days after President Bush’s speech sometime in August 2004, Jason West – New Paltz Mayor, conducted the first legal marriage in New York arguing that “the law in the United States is gender-neutral.” (YouTube) Therefore, there should not be any limitations with regard to gender neutrality or equality in matrimonial ceremonies.  Even though the number of people who are opposing gay marriages is relatively high, the survey result conducted by Pew Forum revealed that the number of people who are in favor and opposing gay marriages among the younger generation between the age bracket of 20 – 35 is almost equal. It simply means that there is still a possibility that eventually gay marriages will be publicly accepted in the United States.

Because of broken marriages between a man and a woman, it has been a long time that we are failing to retain the type of patriarchal family that we used to have. Based on the research made by Jennifer Wolf – a Certified Parent Coach tried to support and equip parents through writing, speaking, and individual coaching for better parenting practices, “there are approximately 13.6 million single parents in the United States today who are responsible for raising 21.2 million children –approximately 26% of children under 21 in the U.S. today" (Wolf).

Discussion

It is not fair to say that only heterosexuals possess the matrimonial right to love each other. Even though there are some people who are strongly against same-sex marriage, homosexuals should also be given the chance to love their significant others. As human-being, homosexuals have the right to show their love and commitment to their partner.

Unfortunately, homosexual couples still face struggles in order for them to be widely accepted within society. Similar to how women have fought for their rights to equal justice with men in terms of having equal rights to education and work among others (Human Rights Watch), failure to win the public acceptance on the same-sex relationship could only strengthen their love and willingness to stay with one another. Because of true love, there are a lot of relationships between homosexual couples that manage to survive.

The Netherlands is the first country that legally acknowledges same-sex marriages. (Russel) Regardless of gender, I believe that anyone who is capable of loving another person strong enough makes for them to make a big step towards a matrimonial ceremony. With that all the negative comments coming from the religious groups, gay couples should be able to marry and eventually adopt children if the couple decided that they are responsible enough to take care of a child.

We have mentioned that marriage is a commitment of love and dedication which can lead to raising a family together. Many people believe that the only way to raise a child normally is those couples who can be seen as a mother and a father.

Read More