Gender and Sexual Studies - Assignment Example

Gender and Sexual Studies Article1 I think the six steps to conflict resolution mentioned in our textbook are accurate and realistic. However there are some important things to note: appropriate communication skills are crucial and no steps should be left out. I’m still learning how to accurately solve conflict in my intimate relationships because of the confusion I experienced in my home life. My parents are divorced and remarried and each of them has very different ways of communication and dealing with conflict. My dad is the one who avoids conflict in almost any situation and when he does acknowledge a need for resolution, he is very aggressive and does not consider others feelings or negotiate at all. He does not follow the six steps at all. For this reason, when it comes to my dad I learned to avoid problems because I fear his communicate style and lack of using the six steps. My mom on the other hand, is very up front about acknowledging when an issue arises but has a hard time actually resolving them. She gets to step 2: finding what each person wants, and then just gives up. She usually doesn’t want to look at alternatives and doesn’t want to negotiate or solidify agreements. So this usually ends up with unresolved issues and hurt feelings. It leaves me feeling helpless because I want to resolve the issues but we usually just agree to disagree. Due to the way in which my parents deal with conflict, I have a hard time bringing up issues in my intimate relationships. I’m afraid to bring up issues because I feel like it is always bad. My boyfriend is very assertive and is not afraid of conflict. He moves through the 6 steps very easily and is great at resolving issues in a respectful manner. He always knows when I’m feeling upset even when I don’t want to bring it up so it has been hard for me to keep my bad habit of suppressing feelings and issues. He calls me out when I am holding back and since I have become aware of it, I have been able to acknowledge my fear of conflict and work past it to resolve issues. I think the 6 steps can be very useful with friends and co-workers as well as any relationship as long as communication is constructive and no steps are left out. Now that I am aware of the specifics of conflict resolution, I can better use it in my life to resolve conflict and become closer with those around me Response to Article 1 Conflict is part of the society that we live in, as hardly a week passes by without having a difference of opinion with our families, friends and workmates. Nonetheless, it is of great significance to note that there are ideal approaches of handling contradictory situations, thereby ensuring that an amicable solution is reached. I particularly agree with the fact that communication is integral in solving conflicts and keeping families united, as it provides a platform through which all the parties can be heard (Ross, 2012). One obstacle that normally hinders conflict resolution is the fact that some parties do not always speak their minds, and end up holding onto events. That notwithstanding, it is important for families to embrace communication, for it comes in handy in ensuring that they live peacefully and bring the best out of each other. Article2   I grew up in a closed off and passive aggressive household. No one addressed problems and secrets were abundant. If there were problems, it would be ignored and suppressed until the problem never existed. It was an unpleasant way to live. My teen years were very unpleasant, as I was a child who decided I disliked the “rules of engagement”, yet did not have the skills and ability to force a change in my parents. Consequently, one of the first deliberate concepts I learned as an adult was how to address and manage conflict. When I was first married, we had the normal ups and downs and sometimes we managed them correctly and sometimes we did not. It was a learning process that eventually we mastered. One of the first signs that my marriage was over was when my now-ex-husband decided he would no longer negotiate with me. It was his way or no way, which didn’t work well. Today, as the single mother of two teenagers, I manage conflicts on a daily basis. My son and daughter may be the best of friends on some days, but there are other days when I want to lock them both in their rooms (needless to say, that doesn’t actually happen)!             Each step of the process is a way of identifying the level of importance to an issue. First, being able to identify what the problem is can be a hard step. Sometimes the problem isn’t the “knee jerk” upset that is expressed. Identifying and coming to terms to an agreeable alternative are steps to understanding. Recently, my 13-year-old daughter exploded in anger at me. Once she calmed down, I asked her what caused that fit of temper. Her response was a bit of a surprise to me: I walked into her room without knocking. In my house, if the door is closed, you knock. But, her door wasn’t closed, it was open a crack and I didn’t even think about knocking.             Issue: no knocking Well, the issue was a little bit more than that, which we discovered through the course of the conversation. She was sitting at her desk with no shirt on cooling off, because she was hot. Her anger was embarrassment at my entry. Now, this wasn’t something I was overly concerned with as this child still regularly streaks through the house in partial state of (un)dress. (We are open-minded about in-the-house-nudity.)             Issue: no knocking and privacy             Wants/Needs: use of door lock for privacy             Alt: secure door to alert family of privacy             Negotiate: discuss             Agreement: she may lock her door when she is undressed, but the door must be unlocked when she is in bed.             Review: eh, not at this time So, this example isn’t a very serious one…well, not to me anyway. It is more serious to my daughter. As she grows into her more mature body, she needs to determine what level of comfort and exposure she can tolerate. As her mother, I have to respect her privacy. Her needs may differ from my own and from what she experienced as a child. Response to Article 2 I have never embraced the practice of assumption within families, which often comes about when members ignore and do not take the interests of their fellows into consideration. This is because it brings out resentment that can result into some people having the wrong perception about life (Ross, 2012). One strong view that I hold closer to my heart is the fact that family members should understand the needs of one another. As such an approach normally ensures that they develop caring and loving personalities. Similarly, it has been established that recognizing the desires of one another results into a disciplined set of individuals, who share and live the visions of each other. References Ross, K. (2012). The handbook of gender, sex, and media. Malden, MA [etc.: Wiley-Blackwell. Read More