Sexual Pressure by Peers - Essay Example

Sexual Health Issue: Sexual Pressure by Peers Full April 6, 2009 Sexual Health Issue: Sexual Pressure by Peers Introduction In my own words, peer pressure means the influence of a group of acquaintances upon one’s beliefs, values, habits, and way of thinking. It can be a positive or negative influence. It seems that the group of people who are most vulnerable to peer pressure is the adolescent group. It is because adolescence is the age of both curiosity and fantasy. The age where most feel secure when they belong or uneasy when they feel ostracized. Adolescence is also the normal time when one becomes conscious of one’s developing sexual orientation. Going through this life phase makes one feel vulnerable to sexual crisis and experimentation. This is why adolescence is where peer pressure to have sex has the highest occurrence. Research and statistics have shown that a considerable number of adolescent females think that sex and love are one and the same (Ozer et al. 2003). They also think that it is cool to have sex if it means being accepted in a group. Consequently they face undesirable results of their actions such as guilt, unwanted pregnancy, human immunodeficiency virus infection (HIV), and catching sexually transmitted diseases. Updated Research on Sexual Health and Peer Pressure Among Students The 2003 survey of the Kaiser Family Foundation gives one a picture of the youths’ attitude on sex, contacting sexually transmitted diseases, and unwanted/unexpected pregnancy (Stone 2004). Numerous adolescents, especially boys, feel peer pressure to have sex before they are ready (Auerback 1994). The survey also gave a report that boys mention drugs and alcohol are conveyors of sexual activities, often without the use of protection such as condom. One out three adolescent males aged 15-17 says that yes, he can sense the pressure to already engage in sexual activities, while one out of five females of the same age bracket says the same thing (Stone 2004). Their friend’s influence for them to drink was high equally for both boys and girls; pressure to take addicting substances has about the same rate with pressure to have sex, according to the survey. Finally, a total of 63 percent of adolescents surveyed (aged 15-17) agreed either strongly or somewhat that "waiting to have sex is a good thing but nobody really does this." Surprisingly, 6 percent of the boys said they are ‘more likely to say so’. Promiscuous, irresponsible sexual activity is the world’s main cause of HIV epidemic. A surprising average of two young individuals per hour per day gets the HIV virus. Half of everyday’s recorded HIV cases worldwide are young people under the age of 25. HIV/ AIDS are spreading at alarming rate and are costing billions of dollars to prevent or eradicate. It has also claimed millions of lives (Hasida 2003). No influence in one’s life is as strong as peer pressure. At its best, it can activate one’s energy, stimulate one to pursue high goals, and encourage one to adapt to a healthy group norm. At its worst, peer pressure can weaken correct judgment and stimulate risk-taking behavior, pulling a young person away from the family and positive influences and tempting him into dangerous activities (Koubek 2002). One of the toughest peer pressures among students is pressure to engage in sexual activities. Without thinking before leaping, one can be a victim of this pressure because one’s friends think that having an active sexual life is cool, daring, and the ‘in thing’ (Thompson 2001). One can also get pressured by a date into having sex. One can also simply give in to have sex with a date because it is easier than arguing whether to do it or not. Besides, who would like to be labeled a prude or a cold fish when friends find out one has never done ‘it’ yet? Drugs and Alcohol Influence Drugs and alcohol muddle the brain of even the most reasonable individual. There are ‘friends’ who will use the effects of alcohol and other drugs to force one into having sex with them. Lucky is the guy who can still say ‘no to sex’ while under the influence. This is next to impossible. The moment one is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, it seems that doing something one cannot reasonably do if sober seems suddenly right; but it is something one can regret later (Denscombe 2001). Peer pressure is a known phenomenon throughout the world where adolescents exist. One cannot fight it nor deny it. I may consider myself a lucky adolescent because I may be popular or one of the student achievers, but this doesn’t give me a certificate entitling me to be ‘above the law’ of peer pressure. Because I belong to a certain society, I am susceptible to pressure from peers. Whether it is an expectation to blend in with a group’s trademark quirk or expectation to act according to a group’s way, peer pressure is a social phenomenon I have to deal with sometime in my life. How can I handle peer pressure such that it makes me instead of breaks me? It depends on what I think about myself, it depends on how strong my self-esteem is, it depends on how I value my goals and future dreams, and it depends on the role I play in the society where I belong. I look before I leap! Anyone who has been young, or who communicates with the youth, understands that most young people regard sex as an interesting and life-changing experience. It is true that sex as a young person or as a full blown adult, such as in any human relationship, usually entails a degree of pressure. But the depiction of this pressure as the deciding characteristic of sexuality can only lead to confusion regarding what is happening. Hence, before I leap, these are some stuff I want to consider before peer pressure makes the decision for me: First, not every student like me, belonging in my group or community, is engaging in sexual activities. Even if sometimes I hear that it is like everyone is "doing it," it is great to know that this is not really true. I know that everybody sometimes talks about sex in a casual manner, but this doesnt mean they are actually engaging in it. Secondly, I should not be influenced too much by the glamour of Hollywood. It actually censors the full story. Yes, I live in a culture permeated with conscious or subliminal sexual messages. These are embedded in movies, television, magazines. These messages are simply part of marketing to make people buy. It is good to realize, however, that celebrities who appear in the media were seemingly suggestive, because they were instructed to act that way (Frieden 2004). They do not get unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases by posing for ads with sexual messages; but if I follow the message without thinking, I can get undesirable results. The inadequate understanding of true love often leads to disorientation about sex and love. Both can be equated as the same thing by young people, when they are really different and distinguished from one another. They can go hand in hand within the correct context, but they are not similar. Love is a commitment and can naturally be felt by humans. On the other hand, sex is an activity done by two persons who are committed to loving one another for the rest of their lives. Handling Peer Pressure How does one gear up for the peer pressure battle and emerge a winner? One can do a number of tactics and make wise choices. First, one can get a mental script ready. One can imagine how one would like to deal with awkward, uneasy circumstances. Scripting out the reaction one wants to do in a given situation is very effective. Then one can play that script out mentally again and again until it becomes second nature (Havelin 2000). Be conscious of one’s stand on significant issues like drugs, alcohol and sex. Allow nobody to undermine one from one’s stand over these issues. It is alright and it is admirable to speak up and let others know one’s boundaries (Scwhartz and Capello 2000). . One will eventually make it through ridicules and teasing, and get the respect that one deserves. Think like a leader and move through life like a leader. When one sees oneself in a leadership role, one can all the more feel comfortable about asserting one’s own opinions and feelings. People fail to understand that adverse pressure from peers not only deteriorates their own identity but also is the single reason for losing their confidence in being able to choose their paths rather than be led by negative models (Hermann 2005). Sometimes ugly situations rear up their heads and peer pressure kicks in to high gear. It is very easy to react and participate in the ugly moment. One can overlook the fact that one will have to live with the choices one makes. Psychology experts say that doing something contrary to one’s character, core value system, or life purpose can cause distress and regret or even illness sooner or later (Susman et al. 2003). Peer pressure can only win if one allows it. Close ‘friends’, prestigious ‘friends’ may not like it when one goes against the prestigious group’s norms. One must remember however, that doing the right thing is always rewarding. The secret is to stick to one’s values without becoming preachy or self-righteous. Peer pressure only works if one lets it have its way like a spoiled brat. If one ignores it or refuses to let it use its intimidating shadow, it loses its power (Bednar and Fischer 2003). Conclusion Devil-may-care drinking, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and underage sexual activities are alarmingly practiced by adolescents (Auer and Alley 2003) whose bodies, values, and dreams are still developing. Who doesn’t know the dangers of overdrinking or substance abuse? I have heard of classmates or acquaintances that have lived to tell the tales of their daring escapades. I believe their tall tales; I envy their camaraderie and their ‘belonging’ to a group. I am also tempted to do what they told me they have done. Perhaps, this can make me a star among my peers, or perhaps they will accept me if I do it. My life as an adolescent is full of wonderful yet complex encounters and experiences. The existence of peer pressure is making it even more complicated. Living in modern times gives me so many information, rights, and opportunities as well as choices that my ancestors probably never had. And yet I am still susceptible to making wrong choices. It could be either to have sex with the ‘apple of my eye right now’, or to smoke a joint just to relax. I know that I can tend to be dependent on my friends. For me, friends can be my sounding boards when I am upset. They can also be my power, my prestige, and my help in time of need. They can be my home-away-from-home if my own family is dysfunctional or are too jaded to notice me. Because of the roles my friends play in my life, I can easily succumb to their influences. If the question if everyone else is doing it, then why shouldnt I? pops up in my head, it’s very easy to give in to pressure. I need my friends’ acceptance, I need their approval hence, I will do ‘it’. In fact, I can easily forget my principles and core values at the moment. They can be overshadowed and pushed aside by my yearning to be accepted. Of course I want to be accepted by friends. I am a social animal, after all. I would like to be included in friendships that will benefit me. I would like to be seen as talented, achiever, a star, or just somebody who belongs. I want to be seen as somebody who is involved. It’s my longing to be accepted that can make or break me. This then, churns some questions in my mind. If I can sense in my guts and in my brain that this peer group is pressuring me to do something that can destroy me, what is that ‘something’ beyond this that I can hope for? Because I am an adolescent and I have a lot of energy stored and ready to be unleashed, where can I expend this energy? What is my purpose in the world? Yes, there ARE some things beyond this group of friends that can help make me, not break me. The secret is substitution. It can be a better group of friends which deep inside, I know cares for me or at least sees me as a developing human being, very much like themselves. It can be an organization that can help me grow into that somebody I hope to become one day. As to where I can expend my energy, the answer is skills. Or it could also be in education. Or service. I can get very busy in any skills that I would like to consider an investment later on in life, instead of hanging out with so-called ‘friends’ who dare me to do ‘it’. I can get extra schooling which where I can get the academic ‘pressure’ that I want (if I want pressure in my life). I can serve humanity as a volunteer, travel to other places, and in fact, meet individuals who are on the same path of self-development. I passionately believe that I have a purpose in this world and I intend to live my life realizing this purpose. I know deep inside that living with a sense of purpose creates within me a meaningful life, the respect of friends, love, abundance, strength, and a certain sense of power. It is a power that is constructive rather than destructive. The kind that creates empires, makes living easier, builds civilizations, and heals humanity. As an adolescent, I am thankful that I am informed that I have choices. Peer pressure to have sex? No thank you. I have better things to do. References Auer, Jim, and R. W. Alley, 2003, Standing Up to Peer Pressure: A Guide to Being True to You. Abbey Press, St. Louis, M.O. Auerbach JD, Wypijewska C, Brodie KH, 1994, AIDS and behavior: An integrated approach. National Academy Press: Washington, DC.  Bednar, Dell Elaine, and Terri D. Fisher, 2003, "Peer Referencing in Adolescent Decision Making as a Function of Perceived Parenting Style." "Adolescence 38, no. 152: 607–21. Cherniss, Hilary, and Sara Jane Sluke, 2001, The Complete Idiots Guide to Surviving Peer Pressure for Teens. Alpha Books, New York. Denscombe, Martyn, 2001, Peer Group Pressure, Young People and Smoking: New Developments and Policy Implications. Drugs, Education, Prevention and Policy 8(1):7-32. Frieden, Joyce, 2004, "Peer Pressure Likely to Prompt Tobacco Use: Behavior Predictors Studied." Family Practice News 34, no. 12: 66. Hasida, Ben-Zur 2003, Peer risk behavior and denial of HIV risk among adolescent. Sex Education: Sex Soc Learn; 2:73-84.  Havelin, Kate 2000, Peer Pressure: How Can I Say No, Capstone Press, New York. Hermann, Judith, 2005, The Teen Brain as a Work in Progress: Implication for Pediatric Nurses. Pediatric Nursing. 31(2):144-148. Koubek, Christine Wickert, 2002, Friends, Cliques, and Peer Pressure: Be True to Yourself. Berkeley Heights, Enslow Publishers, New Jersey. Ozer E., M. Dolcini, G. Harper, 2003, Adolescents and apos; reasons for having sex: gender difference. Journal of Adolescent Health, Volume 33, Issue 5, Pages 317-319. Schwartz, Pepper and Capello, D. 2000, Ten Talks Parents must have with their children about sex and character, Hyperion, New York. Stone, Alan A., 2004, "Loss of Innocence: Sex, Drugs, and Peer Group Pressure in Middle School." Psychiatric Times: 28. Susman, EJ, Dorn,LD; Schiefelbein,VL., 2003, Puberty, sexuality, and health. Comprehensive Handbook of Psychology. Wiley, New York. Thompson, Michael, et al., 2001, Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children. Ballantine, New York. Read More