Documentary Film Tying the Knot by Jim de Seve - Essay Example

Gay marriages. Today, the problem of gay marriages is rather acute in the US. The documentary film “Tying the Knot” by Jim De Seve brings up important questions: what becomes of the surviving half of a same-sex couple after a partner dies? Why should gay widows and widowers live without the legal protections of marriage? The confluence of social and political forces around the release of Jim de Seves documentary "Tying the Knot" gives the film a topicality that could not have been predicted. The film opens with rare footage of a 1971 demonstration by the Gay Activist Alliance, which took over the New York City Marriage License Bureau to protest the exclusion of same-sex couples. There are two main characters in the film: Mickie and Sam — “a cop and a farmer, traditional American icons, whose stories speak volumes”, as the director himself explained such a choice. Mickie Mashburn is a Tampa police officer, whose fellow cop spouse, Lois Marrero, died in the line of duty, and we watch as the soft-spoken and even-tempered Mickie fights to receive Loiss pension as part of a benefits package for surviving spouses. In Oklahoma, were introduced to a rancher named Sam. When Earl, his spouse of 25 years, died, he left the farm to Sam. But a few of Earls cousins, who were of the mind that the land belongs to them, sued for it and won, which now means Sam, who has nary a cent to his name, has to find someplace else to go. His children, from a previous, heterosexual marriage, try to sell a few of Sams horses, but the asking price is insultingly low. De Seve uses shots of rallies and protests, fragments from interviews with gay public figures. The history of marriage from medieval times to now is explained, it is said that the concept of marrying for love, not the business of survival, is a relatively modern act and that marriage is an ever-evolving institution. De Seve invokes the case of Richard Loving and Mildred Jeter, a white man and black woman whose marriage led to the 1967 Supreme Court decision ending legal restrictions on marriages based on race (Morris 2004). The film makes us understand, that it is very important to be tolerant towards those who are not like you, and even if you are a heterosexual, you should understand homosexuals and their desire to have a family. Matters of civil justice often can be quite serious, as it is shown in “Tying the Knot”. But there can even be life-threatening consequences: in most states, gays cannot make medical decisions for their partners in an emergency. Instead, the hospitals are usually forced by state laws to go to the families, who are often hostile to them and frequently totally ignore their wishes regarding the treatment of the partners. If a hostile family wishes to exclude them from the hospital room, they may legally do so in most states. If one of the partners is arrested, the other can be compelled to testify against him or her and provide evidence against him or her, which legally married couples are not forced to do. In court cases, a partners testimony can be simply ruled irrelevant by a hostile judge, having no more weight in law than the testimony of a complete stranger. If a partner is jailed or imprisoned, visitation rights by the partner can be denied by a hostile family or a homophobic judge (Bidstrup 1998; Cahill 2004). On the one hand, it is always said that marriage is an institution between one man and one woman, it is even codified in a U.S. federal law. On the other hand, it is only a matter of semantics, but not of real life, which is always much more complicated that any definition. Certainly, marriage is traditionally a heterosexual institution. However, as we know, slavery was also a traditional institution (Bidstrup 1998). Some scientists claim that homosexuality is a mental disorder caused by family problems and bad parenting (Focus… 2003). However, forty years of research concludes that gay men and lesbian women are as healthy, stable, and functional as their heterosexual friends (Statement… 1994). Gay marriage opponents always argue that same-sex couples arent the optimum environment in which to raise children (Focus… 2003). But we must not forget that society allows murderers, convicted felons of all sorts, even known child molesters to get married and bring children into their marriage. Psychologists tell us that what makes the difference is the love and commitment of the parents, not their gender. Numerous studies show that children raised by same-gender parents grow up to be just as healthy as children raised by heterosexual parents (Bidstrup 2003). America’s health and mental health associations and scientists say that same sex couples have the same hopes and dreams as any other family (Statement… 1994). We always hear that gay relationships are immoral. Nevertheless, not all world religions have a problem with homosexuality (many mainstream Christian denominations, and most branches of Islam and Orthodox Judaism do); at the same time, many sects of Buddhism, for example, celebrate gay relationships freely and would like to have the authority to make them legal marriages. Again, according to the First Amendment there is freedom of religion, which means freedom from religion as well. Another argument against is based on the idea that marriages are for procreation and ensuring the continuation of the species. Then, if thats the case, infertile or senior couples must not be allowed to marry. There are widespread fears that same-sex marriage would threaten the institution of marriage. Still, by allowing gay marriage, the government would reduce the number of opposite-sex marriages that end up in the divorce courts. It would not start our society down a "slippery slope" towards legalized incest, bestial marriage, polygamy and all kinds of other horrible consequences. The reality is that a form of gay marriage has been legal in Scandinavian countries for over many years, and no such legalization has happened, nor has there been a clamor for it. A form of gay marriage has been legal in Denmark since 1989 (full marriage rights except for adoption rights and church weddings, and a proposal now exists in the Danish parliament to allow both of those rights as well), and most of the rest of Scandinavia from not long after. Full marriage rights have existed in many Dutch cities for several years, and it was recently made legal nationwide, including the word "marriage" to describe it (Bidstrup 1998). According to another objection, gay marriage would force churches to marry gay couples when they have a moral objection to doing so (Focus… 2003). It is simply not true. Churches already can refuse any couple they wish, and for any reason that suits them: in case of interracial couples, interreligious couples, couples with large age disparities and for numerous other reasons. In general, granting gays the right to marry is not a "special" right. Everyone in the US is assumed to be already equal, but gays and lesbians are denied civil rights protections, that’s why it is not true that any rights gay people are being granted must be special. The widow of Martin Luther King, Jr., other civil rights heroes, and distinguished biblical scholars say that homophobia is like racism and other forms of bigotry (King 2000). If we try to analyze today’s situation, we could come to the conclusion that for many years, society has promoted the idea that a marriage between members of the same sex is ludicrous the same way as southern whites were once uncomfortable with allowing blacks to ride in the front of the bus, or allowing black children to attend the same schools as their own (Bidstrup 1998). It is important to understand that one could be a heterosexual but not forget that gay sex is not unnatural. The fact is that homosexual behavior has been described in at least 450 of animal species, which could mean that it clearly has evolutionary significance, which applies as much to humans as it does to other animal species. Homosexuality can not be prevented by parents and “cured” through “reparative therapy”. America’s major health and mental health associations warn that “reparative therapy” is ineffectual or even psychologically damaging (Statement… 1994). In fact, many homophobes, including most virulent, violent homophobes are themselves repressed sexually, often with same sex attractions. One of the recent studies done at the University of Georgia among convicted killers of gay men has shown that the overwhelmingly large percentage of them (more than 70%) exhibit sexual arousal when shown scenes of gay sex (Cahill 2004). Such hatred and bigotry could have more serious consequences for American society than most Americans realize, not just for gay people, but for society in general. If you are not against gays, it does not mean that you are a gay. As John Lewis declared: “It is not the right thing to do, to divide Americans… Let us come together and create one nation, one people, one family, one house, the American house, the American family, the American nation” (Lewis 1996). References. 1. American Psychological Association, Statement On Homosexuality, July 1994. 2. Bidstrup, Scott, Gay Marriage: The Arguments and the Motives Source, Retrieved October, 15, from: http://www.bidstrup.com/marriage.htm. 3. Cahill, Sean (2004). Same-Sex Marriage in the United States: Focus on the Facts. New York: Rowman & Littlefield. 4. Citizen Magazine, Focus on the Family, January 2003. 5. King, Coretta Scott, Opening Plenary Session, 13th annual Creating Change conference of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Atlanta, Georgia, November 9, 2000. 6. Lewis, John. Speech on the Defense of Marriage Act, Retrieved July, 1996, from: http://www.postfun.com/pfp/lewis.html. 7. Morris, Wesley, Tying the Knot Movie Review, Retrieved January, 10, 2004, from: www.boston.com/movies/display/7135. Read More