Author`s Name School Name It is in the darkest hours that the eyes begin to see – Anonymous The quote recited above gathers all the superfluous chunk of feelings that I went through during the process of researching about the lives of the transgenders residing in the United States…
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The research took me to places I haven’t even imagined, and opened a whole new sphere of unexplored miseries of life I wasn’t even aware of. Writing this poem proved to be an enlightening and a life changing experience for me, and as I progressed through the development of the poem new doors kept opening for me giving a new perspective to my life each time I entered another phase of the poem. The poem is thus more than just expressive art for me, rather it`s a smaller part of a bigger evolution that I had gone through ever since. “Now when I look back”, was the perfect beginning for my poem as I`ve associated a versatile range of feelings and emotions with the bitter experiences, which compel me on looking back towards the hardest time of my life. There are two kinds of encounters that you can never get off your mind, the one which rejoices you to the fullest to the extent that it replenishes your energies and the second which are so hard to take that every second seem to pass like a lifetime. From the stare in people`s eyes to the glare in the children`s sight, everything seemed to rip off a part of my heart. I was the center of attention for every passerby, not in a good way though. There were mixed kinds of expressions that people were exhibiting towards me, which were very hard to explain. I had never in my life experiences the nature of expressive reactions that people were giving which made it even harder to interpret the messages. As I set my steps in the street to start off my day, I was mindful of the fact that I was indeed taking a very bold step which is completely unacceptable to the society. I thought I was ready, though I later realized I wasn’t. When everyone was staring at me, people turning back to have a second look at me and cars literally stopping by with the intent of publically abusing me, I tried to adjust to the changes by explaining myself that this process is necessary to understand the essence of the issue. Taking the reaction positively, I tried to continue the activity shifting the focus on my aim for the research instead of the harsh comments being thrown at me. All my efforts for trying to get comfortable were literally going to waste, as every moment was becoming even more difficult for me. While I was caught up in the adjustment phase, a very strange yet disturbing incident occurred to me. A boy almost my age came up to me and told me how I`m a disgrace to the society and how I should rather kill myself for the betterment of the society. I couldn’t take his comments anymore thus I retaliated though it wasn’t something that I was supposed to do during the course of the activity. I cross questioned the boy asking him how my identity was a disgrace to anyone, and how my individuality can be affecting anyone else. His answer was as disturbing as the harshest cut in my heart that only the sharpest knife could leave. He quoted some verse from a theological narration and told me how I had committed a sin in my former life, due to which God had punished me for my sin and I will skink the entire society with the disgust that I carry. I said nothing but walked away silently, and it was the first time in my life that I couldn’t stop my tears. The strength in me was fading away. This experience took my thoughts to many other perspectives of life. I`ve always understood the significance that one`s identity carries but I`ve never thought about those who are
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